i put off finishing this for a full week because i couldnt come up with a title. it was worth the wait i think.
well i bet youll never guess why i made this.
a doodle to break the art paralysis spell
this type beat
a doodle to break the art paralysis spell
bruv never let me drink tequila ive had two margaritas n now i’m watching the golf tournament 😭😭😭
Anonymous asked:
just wanted to pop in and say thank you so much for your post about sleep disorders. several of those mentioned apply to me plus I'm a night shift worker And a night owl and it's quite rare for me to not be judged or scolded for sleeping in late. so thank you for sharing some acceptance and understanding, it really made me smile 💙
yeah of course!! it’s been really lovely going through the tags on that post— it definitely feels really isolating to not only have sleep problems (in any flavor,) but also to be constantly judged for them whenever u talk about it, and it’s real nice to see a bunch of people relating and supporting each other!
old comic i found while sitting on my floor going through my sketchbook instead of. cleaning & packing.
shout out to my folks with insomnia & depression & delayed sleep phase disorder & sleep apnea & disabilities & other sleep disorders diagnosed, undiagnosed, and just my plain old night owls & night shift workers!! we r so fucking cool & exist every day in a society not made for us at all. and NONE of us are lazy bums or bad people for staying up late & sleeping in till noon or two or whatever whenever you get up!! no matter what anyone says!! you’re incredible and i love you!!!
adding to my tags because i’ve been thinkin a lot about the post i just reblogged and have more thoughts:
i’ll be real, the more i saw ‘hey adhd influencers are so annoying’ the more i worried that i was unconsciously contributing to the spreading reputation of adhd folks as annoying and over-pathologizing every symptom they experience
and then i realized. i am not a goddam influencer or life coach or representative. obviously i have some obligation as someone who cares about myself and the people that like my comics to not spread harmful ideology or blatant misinformation but i never intended myself to be a “’increase your productivity!!’ blog OR a ‘if you have XYZ you have adhd!’ blog. and i do this for fun, and originally started this blog bc i had a lot of internalized shame and self loathing about my adhd and thought if i could make it funny i might have less of that. let’s get real! and it worked!
i’ve obviously done this kind of thing— (hey these symptoms might be adhd!) a lot before in my life & on this blog, but there’s more to it than trying to be an “influencer” or whatever. a term that didn’t even exist when i started this blog!
i felt very isolated trying to find out if i had any mental problems & what have you originally because of large advice (etc) blogs with staunchly anti self Dx views at the time
so i overcorrected when i DID get dxed and tried to validate everyone who was like me. and of course. not the best course of action always for the ol mental health. tried to be the source of positivity and jokes that i didn’t see because the online adhd presence was near non-existent.
and anyway. i make a lot of fun of myself & the way m brain works in my comics obviously but it is not my obligation to... how do you say.... not be annoying online.
because if folks interpret MY little jokes as a strict guide to diagnosis. that’s on them, really, not me. i also believe “making adhd your entire personality” is a non-issue. so what if people find out they have it and get over excited with identifying as adhd. saying this as someone who DID do it. criticism of this gives the same vibes as people being annoyed that young queers make “being queer” their whole personality. im very obviously more than a guy with adhd, and id reckon other adhd comic artists are too. (im friends with a lot of them!) it’s fine to post about it online.
anyway. i just don’t take myself too seriously and i’m a comic artist for myself first! and you know what, i’ve been considered annoying my entire life. what do i care if a few more folks think i’m annoying. neurotypical or not
#i think the article did have some good points especially on the capitalism and marketing angle but i oft think it did venture into#being mad at individual folks who post jokes about adhd. which is literally fine thats what an opinion piece is for lol#i am just very tired of people pretending that a lot of reaction to online adhders is not in itself just an extension of the ableism#we already were facing#'adhd people are so annoying everyone does this youre pathologizing everything' ok and how exactly are you helping.#i hesitate to throw my hat in with hating on adhd tiktok because i am simply not on tiktok and have no way to back up my thoughts#that they may be annoying and oversimplifying a complex disorder on the 'drains your attention span' website.#and i think perhaps the value of each adhd resource varies widely depending on who made it and what theyre even posting.#sometimes its a joke made by a person with adhd. sometimes its sourced and cited research. sometimes its someone discussing their personal#experiences in depth. sometimes its someone talking completely out of their ass. sometimes its THINLY veiled ableism.#its up to the individual to research and determine the value of the memes and resources you seek#anyway. perhaps these points are tough to clarify on sites like insta and twitter. bless.#text#adhd#im punk now#oh and yeah i also agree lots of folks do not talk about the unsavory parts of adhd but rather the funnies and the sillies. but that is#once again a larger capitalism and marketing and ableism problem#r we not talking about them because we are actively trying to infantalize this disorder or is it because we collectively experience a lot#of internalized ableism and hesitate to talk about our worst symptoms for fear of the backlash#weve always gotten about them 🤔🤔🤔#much to consider#if youve read this far sorry for tangent number 56 about this. but also start being more unapologetic about your disorders. fuck it!#<3
But at the same time, I felt uneasy at being thrust into an online community which I’d long considered kind of annoying: What’s really striking is the extent to which a disorder associated with garrulousness and substance abuse has been captured so utterly by nerds. To what neurodivergent urges would I now be subjected? Would I be tempted to start drawing pastel-colored webcomics about buying too many notebooks or set up a TikTok account with my boyfriend in which he is assigned the role of baffled but tolerant neurotypical and I am essentially a child? Would I start claiming that innocuous behaviors like “Googling stuff,” “using emojis,” “being able to concentrate sometimes but not always,” and “watching cartoons” arise directly from my newly confirmed condition? Would I begin to construct elaborate metaphors along the lines of “ADHD is basically like having a poltergeist that follows you around and moves your stuff” or “ADHD is having a werewolf that lives inside your brain: the secret is not trying to control the werewolf, but fully embracing that you are this creature”? I didn’t want to do any of those things, but I did start to consider what we are telling ourselves — and one another — about ADHD.
there’s a lot of nuance to the increased awareness of adhd online and it’s larger benefits and drawbacks, but definitely top 10 worst impacts are that diagnosis and treatment leads to Fixing Yourself To Be Normal and The Potential Productivity You Always Just Needed To Unlock!!
we shouldn’t have to be marketed and branded as capitalism’s perfect workers on adderall to be taken seriously and talked about and not treated as lesser. you see this happen with autistic folks too (tell me if you’ve heard this one: autistics are actually such productive workers! here’s 10 reasons why it’s better to hire autistic people in your workplace)
capitalism is not our friend. capitalism is not out to destroy ableism
#i’ll be real the more i saw ‘hey adhd influencers are so annoying’ the more i worried that i was unconsciously contributing to the#spreading reputation of adhd folks as annoying and over-pathologizing every symptom they experience#and then i realized. i am not a goddam influencer or life coach or representative.#obviously i have some obligation as someone who cares about myself and the people that like my comics to not spread#harmful ideology or blatant misinformation#but i never intended myself to be a “’increase your productivity!!’ blog OR a ‘if you have XYZ you have adhd!’ blog. and i do this for fun#i’ve obviously done this before but there’s more to it.#i felt very isolated trying to find out if i had any mental stuff originally#because of large blogs with staunchly anti self Dx views#at the time#so i overcorrected when i DID get dxed and tried to validate everyone who was like me. and of course. not the best course of action always#for the ol mental health#and anyway. i make a lot of fun of myself in my comics obviously#but it is not my obligation to like. how do you say#not be annoying online#because if folks interpret MY little jokes as a guide to diagnosis. that’s on them not me. if that makes sense#?#anyway. i just don’t take myself too seriously#and i’m a comic artist for myself first!#and you know what i’ve been considered annoying my entire life. what do i care if a few more folks think i’m annoying. neurotypical or not
i know part of why people don’t take adhd seriously is because of the stigma around it about us being all jokey jokey all the time & the infantilization that comes with that but. can i be real for a moment.
it is TRULY mind boggling to me that the worst most life-upending symptoms i experience only manifest themselves in a way that makes me feel like i’m living in an episode of seinfeld. that i’m playing sims on hard mode. that i’m that little character in deltarune being piloted around by a truly incomprehensible outside force of will i have no ability to reckon with.
like, ok. sure. my brain is only motivated to do things by power of “is it entertaining enough”.
it’s ridiculous. it does not matter how it is entertaining. as long as it’s interesting. so you cannot do ANYTHING that is boring. or you will simply die. (and often times that's not even enough either)
i haven’t post in a minute so you know what that means. go through my drafts and ideas and post 500 posts within one hour and then disappear for 4 weeks bc i lost track of time again
Anonymous asked:
hey cecil! do you have a favorite stim? personally I like the little hand flappies the best, but it's also whatever I'm feeling in the moment
i loveeeee to be standing n bobbing back & forth like a street fighter idle animation. it’s the best. i will always be tapping my foot n bobbing my knee when i sit. i love making my own cartoon sound effects whenever doing anything. or, perhaps more importantly, whenever i’m not doing anything
shout out to my folks with insomnia & depression & delayed sleep phase disorder & sleep apnea & disabilities & other sleep disorders diagnosed, undiagnosed, and just my plain old night owls & night shift workers!! we r so fucking cool & exist every day in a society not made for us at all. and NONE of us are lazy bums or bad people for staying up late & sleeping in till noon or two or whatever whenever you get up!! no matter what anyone says!! you’re incredible and i love you!!!
#being the positivity i need in the world#would i like to get up earlier and love my life? yes. but i can’t fuckin do that can i#i recognize the irony of posting this at 11:30 however i’m at work and fuckin tired#text#positivity#insomnia#depression#delayed sleep phase disorder#sleep apnea#also shout out to nightmare nation i hope we get good rest soon!!!!!
silly little thing i drew a few months ago. in honor of our neurodivergent anime binge nights
top 10 epic mental health moments for sure
guess who took down the christmas tree and halloween dragon and birthday decorations today. do not fucking look at the date that it is today that i am posting this.
i came home and had some sort of ascension. some epiphany. realized that if not me then who. if not now then when.
& also just realized i live in a house of 4 adhd bitches and that i am the Only one on adderall
guess who took down the christmas tree and halloween dragon and birthday decorations today. do not fucking look at the date that it is today that i am posting this.