@adhd-community / adhd-community.tumblr.com
ik people meme on it but genuinely i feel like every weird dysfunctional thing i do stems from my neurodivergency. im like hey i wonder why i sometimes have white hot flashes of overwhelming anger where i need to force myself away from an interaction. and then it's just another classic adhd thing again
I thought that too for a long time.... turns out some of it was also depression, anxiety, and my odd personality.
Now the fun game I play is working out which is which.
This chore system actually looks really helpful!
Oh I LOVE this!!!!
it’s been awhile since i’ve posted, but here is a friendly reminder for everyone:
icantbelieveihavetowritethis
if you are NOT autistic, adhd, ocd or any other neurodivergence, you have NO right, nor the ability to write with neurodivergent protagonists. no matter how much you think you know, even if your cousin’s friend is autistic, you have literally zero right. it’s extremely insensitive and invalidating and you literally have no experience or knowledge in the area to even try to write about it.
if you are a writer and someone has requested an ADHD or autistic reader, you still have zero right. you simply say, “sorry, i am not neurodivergent, therefore, i do not feel comfortable trying to portray something i will never ever understand.”
there are plenty of other writers (including myself) who are neurodivergent and would be happy to take your requests.
please don’t be that person.
thank you and bye for now 💘💘💘💘
I respectfully disagree with this, in part because I think following this is actually the easiest way to remove neurodivergence from literature even more than it currently is - ADHD, for example, is only 10% of the population and not all of us are writers. This is also how we end up with characters that are ADHD-coded but never canonical.
We don't need neurotypical people to step out of this, we need them to lean the heck into it and Just. Do. Better.
You want to write an adhd character but you don't have adhd? Awesome!!! How much research have you done? How many actual people with adhd have you interviewed about their experiences? How many sympathy readers do you have lined up to tell you if you're getting it wrong?
So much in writing and creativity is stepping outside yourself and imagining the world through a different lens. Like anything though this can't just come from stereotypes and what you've been taught - you need to actually research what you are portraying.
If a non-adhd person wants to depict adhd in their writings I am super supportive of that, they just better make sure they are putting time, research, and resources into understanding the disorder and not just using it as a joke or a trope.
To OP's point though, if you don't have the time, energy, or interest to do it well... just don't do it. And if you get it wrong, learn from the critiques and move forward.
Another thing to add - if you're writing for profit, pay the people you interview. If you don't have money while you're writing, as is often the case, be sure to send them an appropriate sum when you have profit. No, a 5$ Starbucks gift card or trinket is not appropriate compensation.
If you're writing something you plan to share for free, ask about how you can credit them for their help and compensate them for their time.
Don't only interview, have multiple people, preferably, as not everyone experiences neurodivergence in the same way, proofread for characterization throughout the writing process, and be willing to listen to their feedback.
Fantastic add!!! Not compensating people for their time and vulnerability in these cases is kinda like saying "tell me about your people or I will misrepresent them and blame you for not giving me what I want".
If you're completely skint however, feel free to start your research online to narrow down your questions before interviewing. Often people on forums or social media are very willing to send through quick notes or advice on writing a character with their disability/ sexuality/ gender/ disorder etc if they have a spare minute and you ask nicely. People are cool that way. Just don't expect too much and avoid taking advantage of their kindness.
(Also despite disagreeing I want to thank OP for starting this discussion - it's an interesting and important one that I have changed my mind on a lot over the years as I have read and learnt more, and had more conversations like these)
UPDATE:
OP sent me a message clarifying the below!
"hey! i’m the OP of the adhd/autism post. my post was more aimed at fan fiction, and in particular, people who have absolutely no knowledge and experience on topics such as neurodivergence, but still choose to write about it anyway because it has been requested. i think my post is getting misconstrued a lot so i decided to delete it. i should’ve been more specific in it originally."
This makes SO much sense - we were talking at cross-purposes! I was writing from a literature perspective and OP was commenting from a fanfic perspective.
Fanfic is wonderful but can also be a haven for accidently (and sometimes intentionally) homophobic, transphobic, biphobic, acephobic, misogynist, abelist nightmare fuel.
As commented - unless you are willing to put months of effort into studying something, write from experience and be empathetic in your writing. If you decide to branch out, at least include warnings that you are doing this and note that you are open to constructive criticism of character depiction.
IMPORTANT
OP (@heyimtrashtbh) is now receiving private hate comments from some people who would rather take out their emotions on a stranger than have a discussion. I will make another post on this more generally in the coming days but if you are someone who did this in a moment of passion, please reach out and apologise to them. If you have a second, please message them in support of expressing views and being a human.
Please remember that behind every user name is a human with thoughts and feelings. Be kind and empathetic.
This blog is about community, discussion, and empathy. It hurts me and others when posts are used to direct hate at specific individuals, and makes us all feel that we can't speak about our thoughts and opinions here.
My love to all the kind, wonderful people that DO interact with the community in a loving and accepting way!
it’s been awhile since i’ve posted, but here is a friendly reminder for everyone:
icantbelieveihavetowritethis
if you are NOT autistic, adhd, ocd or any other neurodivergence, you have NO right, nor the ability to write with neurodivergent protagonists. no matter how much you think you know, even if your cousin’s friend is autistic, you have literally zero right. it’s extremely insensitive and invalidating and you literally have no experience or knowledge in the area to even try to write about it.
if you are a writer and someone has requested an ADHD or autistic reader, you still have zero right. you simply say, “sorry, i am not neurodivergent, therefore, i do not feel comfortable trying to portray something i will never ever understand.”
there are plenty of other writers (including myself) who are neurodivergent and would be happy to take your requests.
please don’t be that person.
thank you and bye for now 💘💘💘💘
I respectfully disagree with this, in part because I think following this is actually the easiest way to remove neurodivergence from literature even more than it currently is - ADHD, for example, is only 10% of the population and not all of us are writers. This is also how we end up with characters that are ADHD-coded but never canonical.
We don't need neurotypical people to step out of this, we need them to lean the heck into it and Just. Do. Better.
You want to write an adhd character but you don't have adhd? Awesome!!! How much research have you done? How many actual people with adhd have you interviewed about their experiences? How many sympathy readers do you have lined up to tell you if you're getting it wrong?
So much in writing and creativity is stepping outside yourself and imagining the world through a different lens. Like anything though this can't just come from stereotypes and what you've been taught - you need to actually research what you are portraying.
If a non-adhd person wants to depict adhd in their writings I am super supportive of that, they just better make sure they are putting time, research, and resources into understanding the disorder and not just using it as a joke or a trope.
To OP's point though, if you don't have the time, energy, or interest to do it well... just don't do it. And if you get it wrong, learn from the critiques and move forward.
Another thing to add - if you're writing for profit, pay the people you interview. If you don't have money while you're writing, as is often the case, be sure to send them an appropriate sum when you have profit. No, a 5$ Starbucks gift card or trinket is not appropriate compensation.
If you're writing something you plan to share for free, ask about how you can credit them for their help and compensate them for their time.
Don't only interview, have multiple people, preferably, as not everyone experiences neurodivergence in the same way, proofread for characterization throughout the writing process, and be willing to listen to their feedback.
Fantastic add!!! Not compensating people for their time and vulnerability in these cases is kinda like saying "tell me about your people or I will misrepresent them and blame you for not giving me what I want".
If you're completely skint however, feel free to start your research online to narrow down your questions before interviewing. Often people on forums or social media are very willing to send through quick notes or advice on writing a character with their disability/ sexuality/ gender/ disorder etc if they have a spare minute and you ask nicely. People are cool that way. Just don't expect too much and avoid taking advantage of their kindness.
(Also despite disagreeing I want to thank OP for starting this discussion - it's an interesting and important one that I have changed my mind on a lot over the years as I have read and learnt more, and had more conversations like these)
it’s been awhile since i’ve posted, but here is a friendly reminder for everyone:
icantbelieveihavetowritethis
if you are NOT autistic, adhd, ocd or any other neurodivergence, you have NO right, nor the ability to write with neurodivergent protagonists. no matter how much you think you know, even if your cousin’s friend is autistic, you have literally zero right. it’s extremely insensitive and invalidating and you literally have no experience or knowledge in the area to even try to write about it.
if you are a writer and someone has requested an ADHD or autistic reader, you still have zero right. you simply say, “sorry, i am not neurodivergent, therefore, i do not feel comfortable trying to portray something i will never ever understand.”
there are plenty of other writers (including myself) who are neurodivergent and would be happy to take your requests.
please don’t be that person.
thank you and bye for now 💘💘💘💘
I respectfully disagree with this, in part because I think following this is actually the easiest way to remove neurodivergence from literature even more than it currently is - ADHD, for example, is only 10% of the population and not all of us are writers. This is also how we end up with characters that are ADHD-coded but never canonical.
We don't need neurotypical people to step out of this, we need them to lean the heck into it and Just. Do. Better.
You want to write an adhd character but you don't have adhd? Awesome!!! How much research have you done? How many actual people with adhd have you interviewed about their experiences? How many sympathy readers do you have lined up to tell you if you're getting it wrong?
So much in writing and creativity is stepping outside yourself and imagining the world through a different lens. Like anything though this can't just come from stereotypes and what you've been taught - you need to actually research what you are portraying.
If a non-adhd person wants to depict adhd in their writings I am super supportive of that, they just better make sure they are putting time, research, and resources into understanding the disorder and not just using it as a joke or a trope.
To OP's point though, if you don't have the time, energy, or interest to do it well... just don't do it. And if you get it wrong, learn from the critiques and move forward.
Gifted kid (non-practicing)
This should be my entire LinkedIn page
No srsly i wanna know.
People: have you tried writing it down?
Me: you know, the thing with writing things down is that you have to remember to actually write it.
People: ...
Me: you get my predicament now?
People: have you tried writing it down?
Me: yes of course, I wrote it on a post-it note
Them: great so what does it say?
Me: what do you mean?
Them:.......?
Me: oh god no I have no idea where that post-it note is now, don't be silly.
Do you ever get to the end of a year of trying to work out why your adhd has suddenly gotten so bad again only to realise you actually just developed depression and it also messes with concentration and memory?
hi, i recently started therapy (which is great!) but the problem i’m having is that my doctor doesn’t seem to even want to entertain the idea that i might have adhd. i’m very sure i have it... every post about it is just like, wow that’s me, but i guess i’m just not very good at explaining myself because my doctor seems stuck on the anxiety and depression only and seems to brush off everything else. how do i get her to listen to me? or explain myself better? because if anything, my anxiety/depression seems to stem from the fact that adhd makes my life difficult, but she’s not understanding me.
Hi! Yay therapy!!!!
Firstly, I doubt your bad at explaining yourself. If she is dismissing you it's not your fault.
If you would like to be tested and she isnt bringing it up there is no shame in being the person to bring it up - like "before we talk about anything today I would like to talk to you about getting tested for ADHD."
It is possible your therapist doesn't have expertise in this area and may need to offer another contact for you to go to, or that she doesnt realise that this is important to you, so it's fine to be clear.
If she brushes you off feel free to say that you appreciate the need to work on your anxiety and depression, and you will continue doing that, but that you would still like to talk about this and it's important to you. If there are more pressing matters, agree to talk about it next session (and do talk about it next session).
If she still brushes you off, seek a second opinion. It's not worth your time or money to "convince" her to listen to you.
x
Re: moving to the couch helps you sleep easier - this is a thing they advise doing if you have insomnia! Basically, what can happen is that after spending so many nights awake in bed constantly doing stuff other than sleeping (stress thinking, being on your phone etc) your brain starts to stop associating going to bed with sleeping (ie it becomes "the place where you stress think " or "the place where you sit on your phone for hours".)
So the logic is that by moving to a new place to sleep, your brain is able to go "oh we have moved from the thinking place and now its sleep time". Another thing they advise in a similar vein is to just not stay in bed if you feel you can't fall asleep. Instead, get up, read a book or do something chill (drawing, crosswords, ideally no screens, like you said) then try again in an hour or so.
Obviously the usual disclaimers - this doesnt work for everyone and should be used in conjunction with other stuff - but I have struggled a lot with sleeping well and knowing this really changed how I think about managing my sleep so I hope it can be useful to others.
Wonderful addition to the earlier sleep post by Anon here.
not necessarily aimed at you personally but I figure you and others following might know things: I am waiting for an appointment to talk about finally getting ADHD meds and I am dying to know two things: will it stop or at least HELP these sugar cravings for the dopamine machine and also is it true I can't have fruit juice anymore
PLLLEAASEEE give me advice on how to sleep better, to slow my mind down. I've been getting shit sleep. My body turns off, sure but it's such incredible light sleep, it feels like I've hardly slept at all and my mind keeps staying in a loop, like having the spins when you're drunk all night🤦♂️
Thought loops like what you're describing are heavily associated with stress. Listening to your emotions, exercising, and finding ways to distress are really important to good sleep.
Um so i follow a few adhd accounts so idk if ur even the one who posted this but there was this one post that said something like
On good days tasks feel like
• make coffee
On moderate days they feel like
• get cup
• add coffee to cup
• add water to cup
On bad days they feel like
•walk to kitchen
• open cupboard
• take cup out of cupboard
•boil water
• get cofffee
And like a bunch more tedious steps that i don't feel like writing out. The point of the post was basically that on some days tasks feel a lot more tedious than on other days and I want to find the post bc i feel like there was something else important in it but i can't remember what it is and i can't remember who posted it so if you or one of ur followers knows that would be great thanks. Also i don't even remember if the example in the post was actually abt coffee or if that's just something i made up so if you find a similar post that has nothing to do with coffee it might still be what i'm looking for lmao.
Oh I love this!
Anyone know the post anon is talking about?
In which I am both of them
i absolutely set people up to infodump at me, it's one of my absolute favourite ways to learn things! you mean i get to LEARN NEW STUFF from a FRIEND who is INCANDESCENT OVER SHARING? sign me up FOREVER.
This is everything.
Often I feel uncomfortable that I talk so much and I spend a lot of time feeling weird or different for the outlandish topics I get into.
Finding people who not only accept you but love your quirks is where it's at folks.
They're out there, I promise.
some people were asking for a actual and i can never pass up an opportunity to procrastinate so here’s just a couple of things i always need to remind myself of…now back to my paper :(
This is the ADHD turn-around glow-up we needed this year.
this is mostly a joke
Nice graphic tho
An old work mentor once told me something along the lines of... "creating a good plan is about weaving enough structure so people can have something to climb, but not so much that you trap them in a net."
I reckon as ADHDers we probably either have no plan at all, and so have nothing to help us get started and take each step OR we make unrealistically structured plans and end up tangled in steps, processes, and deadlines.
We need to aim for the middle-ground, creating simple plans that can grow and change as we do.
