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Oh Hey There!

@adeventure-time-with-totoro-blog

Meg, anxiety, depression, self harmer (2 days clean 😔), trying to get better.. *Trigger Warning*
If you need someone to talk to I'm always here, and I'll try my best to help! (^-^)
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reblogged
may

things I’ve learned to say to boys: -you’re not funny -don’t talk to me like I’m dumb -I probably know more about this than you do -don’t fucking talk about her like that -I’m not comfortable with this -I don’t owe you anything -you just repeated exactly what I said -no

Still learning but getting there

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life-isa-flower-deactivated2018

* deep breath *

Quiet borderlines exist so you can stop equating bpd with someone who is eccentric and strongly reactive and also understand that the majority of the people struggling with bpd are introverts who, unless you are close enough with, do not appear mentally ill on the surface but are going through the same constant Hell™ whether or not you personally notice

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tourmalineriver
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rickgrimesbabyface

It’s gross as fuck to tell people that no one will love them until they love themselves. Loving yourself is hard. Listen: you are loved, you are worthy of love and respect, and you can be loved even on the days when you see nothing in yourself to love.

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wrongfullysad
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fakemccoy

me: babe don’t apologize I know you were busy, you don’t have to respond to me right away

me in my head: it’s been 4 hours and 22 minutes since you texted me last, who are you fucking? I want names

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written-on-polaroids
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blossomfully
I wanted to say something: “I’m sorry,” or perhaps “fuck you.” I wanted to say, “I let you in and you abused that position of trust.” But no no no. I wanted to say, “kiss me please please, we can forget everything.” Or maybe, maybe I just wanted to say, “I forgive you. You’re not sorry but I still forgive you.

S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #262  (via blossomfully)

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coral

me: *sleeps for 4 hours* tired

me: *sleeps for 8 hours* tired 

me: *sleeps for a week* tired

me: *sleeps for a month* tired 

me: *sleeps for a year* still tired

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recovery-saved-me
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shelbys-advice-blog

How to stop purging:

Reasons NOT To Purge

  • You could literally die every time you do it – do you really want people to find you slumped over a toilet?
  • You absorb most of the calories anyways.
  • You are not dealing with the actual problem, you are just masking it; you aren’t going to heal if you don’t address the real problem.
  • It messes up your teeth, esophagus, stomach, pretty much everything – it can also rupture your stomach or esophagus, which can kill you.
  • It causes heart problems
  • It causes electrolyte imbalances and low levels of potassium, magnesium, and sodium.
  • It actually makes depression worse, which will cause more urges to use unhealthy behaviors.
  • You can become anemic.
  • Your cheeks will swell.
  • It dries out your skin.
  • It can give you ulcers.
  • It decreases your ability to concentrate on important things.
  • You will have bad breath.
  • Vessels around your eyes can burst, causing little red spots all over your face.
  • It’s a waste of time and money.
  • It can start a binge/purge/restrict –cycle, which will only make recovery more difficult.
  • The feeling of relief is temporary, and you will feel worse for doing it later.
  • Your body needs fats for hormone and nerve function.
  • Carbs help your brain to release serotonin, which promotes self-soothing and feelings of calm/happiness.

Feeling the urge to purge?

Think about the consequences

  • Yellow teeth
  • Brittle fingernails
  • Endless self hate
  • Losing every single ounce of self love and hope
  • Heart problems that can lead to death
  • No motivation for doing things you love
  • Fear of bathrooms/sinks

Think about the pain it’ll cause for your family and friends

  • Think about your mom, how would she feel if she knew the pain you’re causing your body?
  • How would your dad feel? He wouldn’t know what to do- he would be up late wondering how to help you.
  • Think about your siblings. You wouldn’t want them to follow in your footsteps, would you?
  • Think about your grandparents, how would they feel knowing their beloved grandchild was destroying their body?
  • Think about your friends, how would they feel? Most likely, they’d be scared to talk to you about your purging, they would feel powerless, they would feel like shit friends because they can’t help you enough.
  • Think about your pets, you wanna be around to see your pets grow up right? Purging cuts your life very short.

Ask yourself what’s triggering you

  • Do you feel like self harming?
  • Did something happen that made you feel strong urges?
  • What are your thoughts thinking?
  • Did someone say/do something that gave you triggers?
  • Is someone around you not doing too well?
  • Are you stressed out?
  • Do you miss someone?

Things that help with urges to purge:

Journaling about positive things

  • This is one of my favorite coping skills! It helps distract your mind while keeping you calm and safe
  • It also helps raise self esteem by showing you that you are good at things, writing is one of my best skills and I would not have known that if I never started.

Eating well balanced meals and not skipping meals

  • This helps because when you’re eating the right amount for you and your body (speak to your doctor about any questions) and you’re eating right along with staying clean from destructive behaviors, you’re allowing yourself to finally be set free from purging.
  • It also helps by showing your body that you care enough, you only have one place for your body to live and it can be so easy to kill its place. But you have to understand that recovery is possible- yeah it takes time, work and effort… But it’ll save your life!

Finding a hobby

  • When I was very stuck in the cycle of purging, I found an amazing hobby, the hobby I found was collecting positive quotes and doing DIY projects for Andrew and family/friends. This helped me distract my mind and also allow me to stay clean and safe :)
  • There are tons of sites on the internet that give out really good examples of hobbies, I simply google hobby list and tons pop up.
  • Also, don’t give up if a hobby doesn’t work for you, simply try a new one and keep going from there. You’ll find something that works for you. And that’s something I promise to you.

Being around positive and happy people

  • This is major. Studies have shown that when people around sad, when they’re around someone who’s upbeat, happy, outgoing etc, it’s proven that it helps boost mood and release healthy endorphin’s!
  • It also helps by allowing your mind to alter those sad and negative thoughts and replace those with happy thoughts!
  • Don’t be discouraged if it takes some time for your mind to alter your thoughts, it will happen and it does make a difference.

Warm baths with lit candles

  • I just really love candles and I love being warm. I used this coping skill towards the end of my recovery, it helped me keep a clear mind and allow me to actually think about the harm I’m doing to my body if I continued to purge.

Reconnecting with old friends

  • I actually just reconnected with my friend from middle school, she had moved and we’re chatting just like we used to in class.

Online shopping/gift ideas for friends/parties etc

  • This coping skill helped me think ahead about things, I really want to be here for things that are in the future and if I continued purging, there was a chance I wouldn’t be here. Purging doesn’t solve anything, it simply creates more harm and problems, but not only for you, but everyone around you!

Singing and dancing to your fave song

  • Towards the beginning of my recovery, I had troubles finding motivation to do things that would help distract my mind from purging, so I would listen to music, write down song lyrics and dance to the songs that made me feel happy. It helped boost my mood and It gave me hope to not give up, hope is the key!
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hbhjbjb-blog
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lonely-girl-quotes
A list of sorry’s: -Sorry for not being good enough. -Sorry for messing everything up. -Sorry for not being enough. -Sorry for my scars. -Sorry for always being tired. -Sorry for not saying how I feel. -Sorry for lying and saying “I’m fine”. -Sorry for forgetting simple things. -Sorry for always feeling sad. -Sorry for the suicide attempts. -Sorry for the nervous lip biting. -Sorry for crying. -Sorry for the breakdowns. -Sorry for not being perfect. -Sorry for being the black sheep. -Sorry for not being what you need. -Sorry for being alive.

10.30 p.m. (via lonely-girl-quotes)