In Which I Scream

your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions 

your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions

Who’s fucking carmelizing onions?

Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

your man thinks caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

hey man youve been taking a while putting your change back in your wallet and i just wanted to let you know we are kicking you out of the grocwery sytore forever. goodbye

i hope everyone here knows when i say "woe ____ be upon ye" im not saying woe because said thing is bad im saying woe to invoke the image of me throwing whatever im talking about at you eminem style

the other day I said "you're studying abroad??? what's her name??" and felt all the moisture in the room get violently sucked out of the air

hitting you hitting you hitting you hitting you hi-

op is posting from tamriel. or perhaps the lands between

This is really sad, but it's at least kind of encouraging that he's still trying

Absolutely. The spirit of learning should be nurtured at any age. Read on, info warrior!

Hey, this is exactly how you expand your vocabulary - stumbling across new words, looking them up, and then remembering that. And they're still having fun reading the book, so they're probably going to remember the words they pick up. This is good!

I see y'all in the notes making fun of this, don't fucking shame people for learning stuff late. It's not like this guy can go back in time and do more reading as a kid/teenager, do you want people to learn new things, or do you expect everyone to just wallow in ignorance if they weren't lucky enough to be taught things as a kid/teenager? And they don't need an easier book either, if they're engaged with this one and understanding it, they're fine.

My dad is dyslexic and graduated from high school in the 80s in California (when they super did not have a great education system there). Because none of his teachers wanted to deal with him, he graduated functionally illiterate.

He then gathered a collection of 2,000 comic books, swallowed his pride, grabbed his mom, and taught himself how to read. Every few words or so at the beginning he would ask my grandma what something was. Over time this became every few sentences, then every few pages, then only once in a while.

My mom and I are both very linguistically intelligent. My brother could talk circles around adults when he was three years old, and I learned from him, well. I hit college reading level when I was 9 years old and that’s because I was slacking off on tests before that. All three of us are more traditionally, classically intelligent, and more traditionally educated, than he ever was.

And, he is the single most intelligent person I’ve ever met.

My father taught himself to read as an adult, because he was stubborn enough and humble enough and flexible enough to do it when everyone around him said he never would be able to and just brushed him aside. He then spent the rest of his adult life putting my mom’s needs and my brother’s and later mine ahead of his. He dropped out of post-secondary education so that my mom could get her bachelor’s degree while he worked to cover the gaps in what she could afford to support herself and my brother. He nearly always had the lower-paying job of the two. (and this is not to say my mom never made sacrifices! When he became permanently disabled and couldn’t work anymore she worked her ass off to make sure the four of us could make it.)

My dad still doesn’t pronounce words correctly all the time. There are a lot that he’s never heard out loud, only read. A running joke in my family is that when my mom called him an anachronism, he said he would be ‘the best damn achronism ever’, not realizing that he had dropped a syllable of the word. He often asks my mom or I to help him with a word he doesn’t recognize. And to this day I’m not sure he knows how to use the internet beyond getting onto the NASA website.

And yet.

My dad is also the best-read person I’ve ever met. I was an English major. I’ve studied Tolkien front to back and traced his philology roots through to Beowulf and beyond. I can’t get through the first few pages of the first Dune book. It’s too thick and cerebral for me. My dad? Has read all 21 volumes. I got him new copies for Christmas a couple of years ago and he was giddy. We have a tradition, since my birthday is right before Father’s Day, of going to the book store and getting each other books as gifts. He’s the reason I love to read. He’s the one who introduced me to stories of dragons and magic and hope and true love. Hell, he’s the one who got me my first copy of the Hobbit! He’s read more classics than I have. He has more Shakespeare memorized than I do. He reads more in a day than I do most weeks.

And when he was eighteen, he could not read at all.

Something something the education system is classicist and racist and ableist, something, but lbr I just wanted to brag about my dad.

found a twitter tweet that was like "oh yeah content warning hatoful boyfriend has a lot of gore and violence" and every single person in the notes/retweets/qrts/whatever the fuck terms twitter has was going "WHAT THE FUCK IT HAS WHAT" and i find that hilarious because. large amounts of gore and violence is a tremendous understatement about the amount of stuff that goes down in hatoful boyfriend

my full trigger list for hatoful boyfriend (and its sequel), for anyone curious is:

just on the off chance anyone reading this doesn’t know what Hatoful Boyfriend is

I keep seeing people making fun of using growled, hissed, roared, snarled etc in writing and it’s like.

have you never heard someone speak with the gravel in their voice when they get angry? Because that’s what a growl is.

Have you never heard someone sharply whisper something through the thin space of their teeth? Or when your mother sharply told you to stop it in public as a kid when you were acting up/being too loud? Because that’s what a hiss is.

Have you never heard a man get so blackout angry that their voice BOOMS through the house? Because that’s what a roar is.

Have you never seen someone bare their teeth while talking to accentuate their frustration or anger while speaking with a vicious tone? Because that’s what snarling is.

It’s not meant to be a literal animal noise. For the love of god, not every description is literal. I get some people are genuinely confused, but also some of these people are genuinely unimaginative as fuck.

Wow there’s some fucking bullshit going on in the replies here. Moderate your fucking spaces on the internet, kick racists and other bad actors to the kerb or you risk losing everyone else. This guy has the right of it (scroll up to top).

Quit thinking you need to be fair to unfair voices

For anyone who can’t/won’t read that twitter thread, it’s by Michael B. Tager (@IamRageSparkle) and it says: 

I was at a shitty crustpunk bar once getting an after-work beer. One of those shitholes where the bartenders clearly hate you. So the bartender and I were ignoring one another when someone sits next to me and he immediately says, “no. get out.”

And the dude next to me says, “hey i’m not doing anything, i’m a paying customer.” and the bartender reaches under the counter for a bat or something and says, “out. now.” and the dude leaves, kind of yelling. And he was dressed in a punk uniform, I noticed

Anyway, I asked what that was about and the bartender was like, “you didn’t see his vest but it was all nazi shit. Iron crosses and stuff. You get to recognize them.” And i was like, ohok and he continues.

“you have to nip it in the bud immediately. These guys come in and it’s always a nice, polite one. And you serve them because you don’t want to cause a scene. And then they become a regular and after awhile they bring a friend. And that dude is cool too.

And then THEY bring friends and the friends bring friends and they stop being cool and then you realize, oh shit, this is a Nazi bar now. And it’s too late because they’re entrenched and if you try to kick them out, they cause a PROBLEM. So you have to shut them down.

And i was like, ‘oh damn.’ and he said “yeah, you have to ignore their reasonable arguments because their end goal is to be terrible, awful people.” And then he went back to ignoring me. But I haven’t forgotten that at all.

[ID: Screenshot of a tweet from @/AmazonChique that reads ‘Pathfinder FB fan group banned all racist members. The next week, they saw a drop in harassing & threatening posts of ALL kinds. From the mod: “I encourage every community to quit thinking you need to be fair to unfair voices. Get the rot out and you’ll have a healthier community” End ID]

Tolerance is not a moral absolute; it is a peace treaty And peace treaties are not unilateral. They have obligations running in both directions.

You are not bound to tolerate people who have a stated intent to not tolerate you. Nor should you tolerate people who have a stated intent to not tolerate people who are tolerating you.

Thank you for sharing this everyone, for image IDing and all of it, thank you.

Tolerance is not a moral absolute; it is a peace treaty

Tolerance is not

a moral absolute; it

is a peace treaty

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

We CANNOT have snudity (snake nudity) on this webbed site

is that a cd in your pocket or is your penis just hard and circle. with hole

fuck you steel wool they’re BEST FRIENDS FOREVER

i've made it to 105 episodes of one piece in two weeks and this is what i have to show for it

I meant what I said