today i am european and i intend to make it everyone’s problem

this has been in my drafts for two years and i cant bring myself to delete it or post it like thats his home

the tags on this post are gonna fucking kill me

oh so you have dark brown eyes? ok then kiss me right now.

Mutuals, I'm crouching and uncrouching at you so fast right now

u know yr fucked when someone is so fine u can’t even look at them directly u gotta glance at them out of the corner of your eye like yr lookin at the sun

yes i’m a gatekeeper and a hater. i’m also God’s favorite princess and the most interesting girl in the world

i have so much love and neck tension

‪to the joker they’re just the normal clown posse ‬

"claims to be pro life / dies anyway" is truly the gift that keeps on giving. we can get endless mileage out of it. thank you to whoever concocted this perfect little phrase and thank you especially to antonin scalia for setting the ball rolling here

if my husband doesnt tear up when im walking down the aisle im turning the fuck around 

my husband definitely will because he’s gonna have to put up with me for the rest of his life and that’s enough to make anybody cry

“cutie” and “babe” are overrated pet names for your significant other. try “leader of thunderclan” or “the fire that saved the clan” instead

its hard to be attractive when youre not

Broke: Judeo-Christian

Woke: Judeo-Islamic

every time i see this post i think abt the time when i listened to a bunch of muslim and jewish students spent their entire 10 minute break arguing abt whether god actually cares you eat gummy bears (made with gelatin derived from pork) or not, standing by the vending machine and eating gummy bears the whole time

Now that’s the kind of interfaith solidarity I want to see.

i would survive a horror movie

the murderer shows up to my house and im just like sir your vibes are disgusting

im craving asparagus wtf is wrong with me

it’s better than craving for her to love me back

i dont know what to say im sorry

t'challa, texting shuri: answer your phone

shuri, texting back: gimme a minute, i can’t find my phone

t'challa: ok

t'challa, five minutes later: you’re a terrible child. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing your brother.