listening to Tallahassee with my girlfriend and shaking my head through the entirety of "No Children" so she knows I don't feel that way about her
christmas is when jesus was born, and easter is when he died. in between is when he did various baby crimes bad enough to warrant capital punishment at 3 months old. very bad baby
WASHINGTON—Picking up thousands of incapacitated Americans by their wrists and ankles and tossing them down to the sidewalks below, Covid-19 patients were reportedly flung out of hospital windows across the country Thursday as the public emergency officially ended. “Well, thank God that’s over,” said ICU head nurse Mikayla Hecht, who ripped a breathing tube out of an elderly patient’s mouth and hoisted the man onto her shoulder as she carried him toward the open window, making a mental note to chuck all of the ventilators out the window for good measure.
two beautiful transgender bodies locked in eternal combat
girls
ⓘ Fact check: girls
ⓘ Tip: girls
ⓘ Log Book: girls
ⓘ New Objective: girls
⚠ Severe Corrosion Hazard: girls
☢ Core Detonation Risk: girls
EVERY fucking stupid liberals university in the star trek future their fucking student sketch comedy group OF COURSE has at least one Vulcan and it's like their thing where they're like "haha I bet you wouldn't expect a VULCAN in an IMPROV group!!!!!" as if this hasn't become such a fucking tired cliche like literally since 2063 every fucking comedy show has the token Vulcan to be the straight man. you're doing nothing. call me when you guys make an effort to actually include tellarites in the writing room instead of confining them to punch lines. and to be honest with you guys your Vulcan isn't even that good. his performance was highly derivative of T'min's work in the big bang theory 3 (the third big bang yheory. they make a lot of sitcom sequels in the future)
The last thing you said cannot be true because star trek is supposed to be a utopian future.
star trek is very demonstrably not a utopian future it's a broken society playing at paradise. we see hints of this earlier in the post when I mention university improv comedy groups
If you think you're a boy read all the letters in this post that are blue in color. If you think you're a girl read all the letters in this post that are pink in color. If you're nonbinary read all the letters in this post that are orange in color.
The bizarrely gender affirming experience of getting a catcall that kinda dies out halfway through because the person catcalling me got confused as to what my gender is
thank u @dreamdripdistance for making possible the funniest iteration of post-top surgery pics (it's a temporary tattoo)
please
it’s been seven years since my then boyfriend made this satire blog. you guys will never guess what happened to her-
--The Fifth Elephant - the 24th Discworld novel by Terry Pratchett, 1999











