hi can you direct me to the nearest hospital
My cats have this meow that means "please come with me to fix this" after which they'll lead me to the problem in question, usually a empty (or 'empty') food bowl or a closed door they want open. They look at the 'problem', they look back at me, clear message.
What fascinates me is how this illustrates what they percieve as being in the realm of my 'power.' I control the food, I control the door, sure, but my cats love to sit on the balcony in the sun, and it has happened plenty of times that on a rainy day they come get me, go to the balcony and show me... the rain. "Please fix this" they say. "Please get rid of the wet"
"Silly kitty," I say, "I can't control the rain." I then walk into the shower and turn on the rain.
I hope this is a universal cat owner experience. Every single night he begs me to turn the sun back on so he can watch birds on the balcony. I tell him no, I cannot do that.
But I can turn lights on and off in the house and he's fairly certain I'm just not applying myself properly here.
one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method
Tumblr users will see a post mentioning a day if the week and just fucking black out and reblog it
i was watching a video about how regional cheeses are made around the world, and was shown a type of mozzarella called zizzona (the z/zz pronounced like the 'zz' in 'pizza', with a 'tz' sound), which, yes, means "mother's breast".
so rest easy tonight knowing they have titty cheese in italy.
they also make special GIANT 66lb zizzona
so rest easy tonight knowing they have hummina hummina aWOOGAH iyiyiyiyi GAZONGA cheese in italy
I had a dream I was watching keeping up with the kardashians and Kylie had gotten cyborg legs like they had taken the legs of an AT-ST from Star Wars and put them on her lower half so she was like 11 feet tall and Kim was like “I think Kylie’s new legs are SO fun..”
I literally think about this post every day
at Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville rn and i’m wondering why more musicians don’t have their own restaurants. i would eat at Trent Teznor’s Tavern of Terror
i hope the anonymous person who sent the "i used to live in your house. i'm drunk in boston and it's the only address i know. happy holidays" postcard is aware that they wrote my favourite poem
everyone make sure to set out cheese & crackers for neil tonight <3
You go to a gentrified artisan burger joint and there's a burger called "The Budd Dwyer" for 14$
And if you don’t say you want it with “the works” they give you nothing but a crusty burger on a brioche bun that’s mashed to atoms with your first handling of it. Now, I ain’t one of them fancy-ass city folk you youngin’s are talkin’ about but I think I might know a thing or two about good country cookin’ and that just ain’t it. Keep your brioche. Keep your Dwyer. I’ll just take a Bud and head on down to the pasture, gnaw on a cow down there. That’s good country livin.
Love where you're taking this joke, but you should Google Bud Dwyer.
I’m tired.
At least he was an organ donor.
“boston college t driver you announce stops too excitedly. your destination too obvious. your back doors too open. they’ll kill you” - @ginasfstump
Official Post of Massachusetts
why don’t you shut your fucking mouth and look at the wikipedia page for sucking cock???????????
alright one sec
hey it says i gotta have my mouth open for this one boss
I want to be very clear: I did not schedule this to post on Easter weekend.
I want to be very clear: I did schedule this to post on Easter weekend