Ahbee+Brandy

Man oh man..

I’m so sorry for everything

Please don’t hate me...

Today is December 2nd, 2019.

This will be my last post to this blog, for I’m switching to a new one. A fresh start. The only reason I wish to keep this page up is to remind myself of my struggles, good times, and ultimately to look back on in the future.

I just want to love and to be loved. That is all. I constantly jump between leaving you in the dust and giving you nothing but my soul and pouring everything into you. But with that I risk self destruction, I’m weighing my options, but part of me doesn’t even have to think, I just know it’s the right thing to do. The other part of me, the old me, is frightened...

Oh Brandon. I love you, and I need to start acting like it. Unconditional. Unwavering. Love

If I was a magical girl I would’ve been a witch by now

He’s my drug

I need to stop being hopeful. I need to leave you alone.

I want you back so badly, but I know you want this. I know this is what you see is right, and I’m trying to see that too.

But I am so miserable and lonely. I try to put on a tough front to you and everyone around me. But at night, I cry, so much. My eyes burn and I pass out from all the shaking and heaving.

Maybe I’m still paying for sins I forgot about. Maybe this is what I need to be better for you later.

All I know is I am so very saddened. And I’m trying desperately to keep my cool.

I wish you everything this world could give.

Healing is the hardest part.