i leave for one week and come back to 38 beautiful women following me. hello ladies.
honestly i think the reason why it’s so common for kids to have the “it’s not a phase, mom” argument in their adolescence is less because they genuinely plan for their current state of being to remain utterly unchanged forever and more because they’re tired of having their interests/self expression/beliefs/etc dismissed as foolish due to being probably temporary
i know that when i was that age i certainly wasn’t thinking about whether or not i’d be into whatever shit i was into then when i was 80, all i knew was that i was sick of feeling like the adults in my life were just rolling their eyes and waiting out everything that was important to me at that moment
Taylor swift has fallen down into a scary hole
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
I DONT CARE ABOUT TSWIFT BUT IF THE SCARY HOLE GETS A TASTE FOR HUMAN FLESH I DONT KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN!!!!!!!!
sorry. i'm catastrophizing and sensationalizing. we have to be calm and think smartly pretty about this
Its ok taylor swift flesh is probably very different from human flesh :))
hey. okay. yeah you must be right. its probbaly more like plastic and oil or something. okay. relaxing. this might be good for us
The scary holes have started oil fracking
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
If you want to exercise in an evidence-based way you are going to have to find and read the review papers yourself since personal trainers, bodybuilders and fitness bloggers are extremely susceptible to pseudoscience, magical thinking and cargo-cult mentality and they also cannot read.
Shout out to the time I met Giancarlo Esposito who plays Gustavo Fring on Breaking Bad while badly dressed like Vriska Homestuck
If you are in the US and own poultry or other outdoor birds, please, please be careful - even if you are in an area where bird flu is yet to be reported. Don’t bring home new birds, bring birds inside if possible or restrict their potential access to wild birds, seek out a test (they are often free and do not require euthanasia) if your bird is showing symptoms.
No, I didn’t. If your bird tests positive, every bird you own will be seized to be euthanized. This is that serious.
ottosgotavendetta
CDC/US military releases bird flu strains onto chicken farms in order to kill chickens and turkeys en masse, driving up meat prices once again.
This is 95% likely it’s another planned pandemic.
Chicken is almost $6/lb at my grocery store rn so I guess their plan is working
okay tumblr’s exclusion from the twitter social media ban list is hilarious but genuinely we do not belong on there. if a real human person asks “where can i find you on social media” and your choice is a swift death or revealing your tumblr, most of us would simply expire. half of y’all change urls every week like you’re in witness protection. just imagine for one second attaching your wholeass government name to your latest two am clownposting and tell me that didn’t send a cold chill down your spine. the only place i ever want to see the words “connect with me on tumblr!” is on the ao3 profile of an author i’m actively stalking. anyone in the world can follow me except anyone i personally know. antisocial media.
guys he's already trying to make a deal to sell it, which he's obviously going to take regardless, so let's start voting no to try to get him sued LMAO
mr brightside voice now shes going to bed and shes going to bed and shes going to bed and shes going to bed
hebridean sheep are my favorite sheep because they look like baby satans
get a load of little lucifer junior over here
Second order of creamed honey from Ioway Bee Farm finally arrived and while the almond creamed honey was a little underwhelming the blueberry one was almost *too* decadent. Like mortals were not made for something that tastes this good. This honey could corrupt a man from the first spoonful. It helps me to avoid eating half the jar in one go, though.
I’m trying to be but getting testosterone without a family doctor is borderline impossible.
Why are you people talking about my post like stock market speculators.
tiktok where two guys are carrying their girlfriends on their shoulders and laughing and goofing around and they start walking toward each other and you think it's gonna be some dumb tiktok challenge but then surprise
the girls start kissing and the guys start kissing and oh dang they were actually gay the whole time
my mom purposely overpaid her credit card bill by 1 cent so every month they send her a letter that says they owe her 1 cent and it costs them a dollar to send the letter plus the paper. she is costing corporations money 👍
Yes, but the added environmental cost of mailing a paper letter...
do you think they cut down a whole tree because my mom overpaid one cent. do you think they make one new piece of paper every time they need one
But trucks have to move that paper!
are you not aware that those trucks would be going either way. they aren’t taking another trip for one envelope
hello my name is billy postman, operator of the world's smallest and most environmentally harmful mail truck. it is one envelope big and requires thirty seven gallons of fuel to go one mile. (I personally am about one and a half envelopes big) my beloved truck is very slow and very loud and I hate both flora and fauna so so so much. I love corporations though
Whenever I say "sorry guys" or whatever I am exclusively apologising to guys I am not using it as a gender neutral term this is because I hate women HASHTAG MISOGYNY
I was going through my old posts and just found this. I cannot believe I use to be this person and I would like to apologise to all women everywhere for this hate. I'm sorry women. HASHTAG FEMINISM
boy this was less than a month ago
The producers were on a tight schedule so they had to rush my character arc
perks and curses, get your perks and curses here, pick an image and you get a perk or curse, doesn't matter what picture i'll figure it out
you heard that right you can get a perk or a curse for the simply price of showing me a picture, only here at the shittiest gas station this side of the Bermuda triangle, get your perk or curse
orange (bitten like an apple)
gained curse: "fruit deviant"
description: all "fruit" based consumables have to be consumed with their skin/peel intact, doing this action in front of people might change their views on your character
note: some fruit's skin may inflict negative effects