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@aceos-15

Ivy/Ace/Jay --- any pronouns --- I'll occasionally do a role-play or repost something, don't expect much from me *laughs*
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aceos-15
slutty-spider-talk
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slutty-spider-talk
aceos-15 asked:

“Heya, Angel Dust! I have a question. Feel free to not answer. Uh…who’s the nicest customer you’ve ever had, and how were they?”

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slutty-spider-talk answered:

Don't wanna say names ta protect his privacy but he's from a royal family. Poor guys sorts closeted, has a real fucked up relationship with a childhood friend of his loves that lil' imp but is in a shit arranged marriage. Got a kid and all wit' her. One day hired me out which is always intimidating when it's a royal, but he treated me real good and we still talk!

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aceos-15

Mhm, I know Stolas. He’s a really nice guy, once you get past the…*ahem*…Royal part.

aceos-15
tuzesdays
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pasdecoeur

all fanfiction is funnier and sexier and vastly better-written when you read it at three in the morning, in the dark, lying on your side, tucked into bed, with screen rotate turned off. that’s just how it works. that’s just facts.

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aceos-15

You just described what I did last night. Like, no joke.

AO3 is just better at 3am.

aceos-15
memesomething
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memesomething

Dissociation Starters

FROM THE EMPTY

  • “No… I’m not hurt.”
  • “I don’t…”
  • “… Sorry. Say that again?”
  • “Sometimes I just … do this. It’s fine.” 
  • “No, it’s bad, but I’m. Like. I’m fine. Just give me like, ten minutes.”
  • “I don’t - I don’t remember.”
  • “You waited how long?”
  • “… I don’t like [trigger].”
  • “Will you walk me home?”
  • “I love you, I just… I can’t… I’m dissociating.”
  • “I.. don’t know how I got here.”
  • “I didn’t feel that. At all.”
  • “Did I zone out?”
  • “Don’t touch me.”
  • “My name is [name]. I’m [age]. I live in [place]. My name is [name] -”
  • “I can’t think of anything to do that isn’t stupid, canyouhelpme?” 
  • “How did you find me?”
  • “I think I’m in [different State]. Will you come?”

FROM THE FULL

  • “Hey. [Name]? Look at me.” 
  • “I’m right here.” 
  • “How long have you been sitting here?”
  • “What happened?”
  • “Your shirt is on backwards.” 
  • “Is it okay if I touch you?”
  • “It’s windy today. This bench has a nice texture, don’t you think?”
  • “Do you mind if I sit with you?” 
  • “Okay, I’ll be here.”
  • “Hey - come in. Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you came.”
  • “Drink some water. It has ice.”
  • “I’ll run a shower.”
  • “Let me wash it for you.” 
  • “I can’t clean you up if I can’t touch you. Will you give me your hand?”
  • “We’ll ride it out. You’re safe here.”
  • “I’ll put on a movie.”
#Starters
aceos-15
arachn0philia
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ask-meme-addicts

Cr1tikal sentence meme

  • ❝ Nothing says a good party like everyone shooting at nothing. ❞
  • ❝ Whoops, you heard me insulting you? Yeah, don’t take it personally… you’re just a piece of shit. ❞
  • ❝ Yeah, I got murdered — what about it? ❞
  • ❝ So, number one: this is a huge waste of my time. And number two: go fuck yourself. ❞
  • ❝ I can now grab the sun by the titties.  ❞
  • ❝ The second I re-enter this reality, I’m coming back to that fighting ring and I’m taking you to lunch. ❞
  • ❝ I’ll trap you in this fucking corner. How’d you like that you little prick? ❞
  • ❝ They gave me this card but forgot that I’m illiterate, so… ❞
  • ❝ This orange is having a bad day!  ❞
  • ❝ This man just walked right through the event horizon like he’s walking down the sidewalk. ❞
  • ❝ I’m late for my pornography class! ❞
  • ❝ We can cut through the perception of time!  ❞
  • ❝ You can buy things with a credit card, I’m sure you knew that… but did you know you can sell things with it as well? Such as murder? ❞
  • ❝ Try to get Bill Nye to explain that shit! ❞
  • ❝ No, no! Honey Nut Cheeri-no! ❞
  • ❝ Do you think you could speak up a little bit? I can’t hear you over the sound of war. ❞
  • ❝ PC versus… smack! ❞
  • ❝ Is that dude trying to run for mayor? In my town - in Daddy’s town? ❞
  • ❝ This is a party so good the cops put me on the most wanted list just trying to break it up. ❞
  • ❝ You know what they say: you can never really know a person until you’ve walked a mile in their skinsuit. ❞
  • ❝ I’d rather be gargling Bigfoot’s piss. ❞
  • ❝ This is much easier to manage and comprehend than flying around having an existential crisis. ❞
  • ❝ What the fuck? How did I not put those puzzle pieces together? ❞
  • ❝ Give a tomato a false sense of security. When it thinks it’s safe, throw it on the fucking knife!  ❞
  • ❝ Just a little bit of ghost semen, a common ingredient found in most beverages. ❞
  • ❝ Batman stole my arms. ❞
  • ❝ Don’t mind my tongue, it’s just here to give you the gospel. ❞
  • ❝ So this is how the world ends, huh? This is pure chaos and pandemonium! ❞
  • ❝ If my dick doesn’t get sucked after that performance there’s something wrong with our society. ❞
  • ❝ I’m trying to make a nice cold drink, not perform cold fusion! ❞
  • ❝ Alright, I’m inside of this man. I’m wearing him like a fucking halloween costume! ❞
  • ❝ General Titan Titties reporting for duty. ❞
  • ❝ Who knows how many bananas this is gonna take to repair, fucking awesome. ❞
  • ❝ What are you looking at there, pal? Never seen a rooster at a strip club before? ❞
  • ❝ I can be your Q-tip, baby! ❞
  • ❝ You need to fight with honor, not fuck! ❞
  • ❝ He packs a punch, but I’ll pack his suitcase! ❞
  • ❝ That’s right, I know you didn’t vote for me last time, baby! Here’s your chance for redemption.  ❞
  • ❝ Are they turning into a tire? That’s a useless transformer. ❞
#starters
aceos-15
autistfanatic
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autistfanatic
aceos-15 asked:

Can I be part of your epic rap battle? I love warrior cats lol

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autistfanatic answered:

Scourges lyrics: 🎶Why hello Mapleshade, how are the kits that died? Oops too soon? Have I wounded your pride? You wonder why Crookedstar never listened to you, you're a creepy groomer bitch that even Appledusk rejects, too! I'm more remembered by fans while you're easily forgotten, your story is predictble and characteristics are rotten. You'll never be me my dear please down while Bone and I read about Reedshide watched your babies drown.🎶

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aceos-15

*silence*…I can’t think of anything lol, gimme a lil bit 😅

aceos-15
autistfanatic
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autistfanatic

Epic Rap Battles of Warrior Cats!!

Scourge!!

GIF by thewisestdino

Versus!!!

Mapleshaaaaaaade!!!

GIF by innumerablemuses-a

BEGIN!

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aceos-15

*screams* AGHH I LOVED THESE-

ahem. with that outburst over, may I sing? :3

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autistfanatic

I wanna read your ideal lyrics plz!!!

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aceos-15

Lol, my timing is horrible today-

So I was thinking something like-

[Mapleshade]

Well well well,

look what the cat dragged in

No land, no clan,

got offed by his own kin (ouch~)

I have really no other ideas lmao, I came up with that on the spot

aceos-15
balsa-margarita
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cryptid-sighting
View on Twitter

Incredible new thing happening with Elon today: he fired a disabled Twitter engineer for prima facie discriminatory reasons, trashed talked the ex-employee on Twitter and then discovered this employee came to Twitter by way of an acquisition of that employee's software start up and the sale contains a clause that if Twitter terminates his employment it has to pay him 100 million for the software he developed. The fact Elon Musk might have to personally sell of Tesla stock to meet this obligation has caused Tesla's share price to dip yet again.

Also Musk deleted his tweet trashing the employee but it's preserved and being reposted by multiple Twitter users, at least until Musk can figure out a way to nuke the screen grabs from orbit.

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teal-deer

keep circulating the screenshots

#reblog please#mm yes circulation delicious
aceos-15

What does my soul smell like?

Candle Smoke

key words: self-assured, courageous, intuitive. you are an expert at overcoming your demons and should be proud of how brave you have consistently shown yourself to be. others are amazed by your perseverance, strong personality, and unapologetic uniqueness. compatible with: coffee, freshly baked bread.

aceos-15
animentality
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animentality

Could you stab someone with a human leg bone and kill them?

I know it's a long shot but gotta ask.

Nothing sexy, I promise.

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aceos-15

That depends. Which leg bone, is it sharp, where would you stab it, how deep? So many variables!

aceos-15
suspicious-whumping-egg
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intercal

"I could look it up but it's more fun asking friends" gang

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kernalphage

"there's probably an objective answer for this but let's see if someone has a rant locked and loaded" group chat

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aceos-15

“We all know the joke, but let’s see if there’s an idiot dumb enough to fall for it!” Club

aceos-15
concubuck
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concubuck

Hello, Hell, I'm as bored as the devil tonight! Somebody come say something shocking, scandalous, and offensive.

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aceos-15

Vox’s show is better. I said it.

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concubuck

Well, who am I to argue if you enjoy watching advertisements for gas station junk food and cell phone video games?

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aceos-15

At least he’s actually GOOD at advertising.

aceos-15
mantaraygirls
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mantaraygirls
aceos-15 asked:

You cross your legs just like a queer

but your libido is strong when a lady is near

Ah yes, Verbatim by Mother Mother lmao

anyways, singing aside, you enjoy reading in your free time, especially poetry/haikus.

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mantaraygirls answered:

1. I'm asexual and sex repulsed, please don't make jokes like that about me thanks

2. I do actually enjoy reading as a whole but I prefer to write poetry, not read it

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aceos-15

oh shoot I’m sorry- I really wasn’t attempting to upset you, I was quoting a song 😅 now I feel terrible, I’m so sorry

#Ah yes. I have made yet another mistake online.
aceos-15
roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it
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roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it

Happy women’s day! This is your reminder that all anglerfish with scary teeth and lights are female and the males are small and weak and that when a male bites a female the female fuses him to her body and then absorbs him leaving only his testicles so she can fertilize her eggs whenever she wants. Some female anglerfish have rows and rows of testicles hanging from them from absorbing so many males. Really girlboss if you ask me.

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aceos-15

I mean, human women can do it too if they’re brave enough- imagine you walk past a lady with a necklace made of dicks 😂 this is coming from a biological female, slay ladies