i’m scrawny! (i also go by chris) (he/him) thank you for entering my vortex of evil i mainly post about portal (and other things that catch my intrigue) you can never guess with me! DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE: WEIRD (DEROGATORY) FREAKISH (DEROGATORY) AN EVIL SWAMP WITCH AN EVIL SHOPKEEP (I DO NOT WANT YOUR WARES) RACIST, HOMOPHOBIC, TRANSPHOBIC, ANTI-SEMETIC, XENOPHOBIC, ABLEIST, TRANSMED, TRANSCUM, ANY OTHER -PHOBIC OR -IST please shoot me an ask (or a message) if you got a problem! i have very bad anxiety and paranoia especially around strangers so please be patient with me.

these women treating me like a dog. jerky me off

these women treating me like a dog. beeffing my jerky

Hey lite

What the FUCK does this mean

these women treating me like a dog. taking me to thhe pound

I'm taking you to the vet to get fixed.

these women treating me like a dog. trying to take my fuckign nutes

scrolling to the bottom of this post and seeing it only has 25 notes flooded me with such a dreaded sense of wrongness i feel like the thing from the thing. i feel like i just saw god at circle k and he was complaining that the smart scanner misread his potato chips as cat litter

pick one you bald genderless idiot

YES.YES.YES. People need to realise this 

Hell Yes! 

I feel like this needs to be shared with a ton of people.

Sorry for the color but i love this.

SO FUCKING IMPORTANT

it makes me so sad that no matter how many times this is reblogged there will be people that will still spread hate and will never change

PREACH

SPAM REBLOGGING THIS MULTIPLE TIMES

AMEN IS WHAT I SAY AND AMEN IS WHAT THIS IS

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

When Russia sends you nudes

#what the fuck happened here

This is my favorite post in all of tumblr

reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia

reblog it, because Russia can´t

Thanks Obama 

Wtf

When Russia makes this post illegal

I HAVE ONLY SEEN THIS IN SCREENSHOTS

I will reblog this every goddamn time I find it on my dash

I will reblog this

every goddamn time I

find it on my dash

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

this same idiot: what kind of animal is the pink panther

me, already taking off my clothes: benjamin you’re so fucking stupid

oh my god the original out in the wild

Holy shit, I’ve been. Searching for this

17 free and helpful things, that everyone can take advantage of

My earlier list

More things to do

favorite ship dynamic moodboard

take it.

THIS IS A FREE DOWNLOADABLE PDF OF THE BOOK BTW you don’t have to pay for it!!

since the link about is fucking dead, i took the liberty to provide a better one. You’ll need to copy and paste the passphrase, though >> kitten-mutual-refinance

made some versions of the agony grip for my friends for when the whole gang gets it . including different levels depending on the anguish

and a joyous one for when there is love abound

can i make a contribution?

for when the whole gang is being real autistic about something

For when you say something absolutely horrid in the group chat

Three blind mice.

Hes my fave btw

nobody really drops anvils that make people have funny birds and stars spin around their head anymore… they should do start doing that again

So true, btw can you stand on this x over here? I think there’s buried treasure under there

treasure? YIPPEE!!! (starts digging!!!!!)

THOUSAND ENERGY BEAMS ATTACK

I love this genre of tumblr posts that’s basically the online equivalent of playing power rangers on the playground

free my girl she did the same things as the celebrated male protagonists but the fandom has labeled her irredeemable

im like if roadkill was a girl

imagine if i get run over tomorrow and this was the last thing i posted

i'd offer to help complete the bit but i don't know how to drive

actually, on second thought that may work in our favor

don’t!!! fake!!!! your!!!! interests!!!! to!!!! make!!!! someone!!!! like!!!!! you!!!!

don’t!!! bury!!!! your!!!! interests!!! to!!!!! make!!!! someone!!!! like!!!!! you!!!!

i think the hottest look you can give someone after they commit acts of unspeakable violence is approval. like don't get me wrong if there's lust there too that's great, but staring at someone with gore dripping down their chin and coating their hands to the wrists with undisguised appraisal and admiration. maybe giving them a little nod as if to say 'well done'. THAT'S what says "yeah we're gonna fuck nasty later".

"i could fix him" well i could pat him on the head and tell him he's a good boy

My current plan to recover from my mental and emotional existence is to just go so deep into being insane that I'll come out sane on the other side. Being a chronic people pleaser plagued with impostor syndrome stretched me too thin, and that leash simply snapped and I am now a completely untethered, unapologetic vermin.

Fuck having impostor syndrome, if I'm not entitled to be here they should've barred the doors better. If I'm doing everything wrong because of imaginary rules that nobody told me about, that's their problem, you should have made your confusing system more idiot-proof.

I'm not here to please everyone and do everything right. I'm here to make bad art, chew on furniture, make people laugh, cook awful food and look at pretty landscapes, and piss off the people who don't want me to exist. If I have an unseen infinite debt somewhere that I can never pay back, I'm going to keep running that tab until I die. I'm alive purely because the universe is shit at pest control.

i never thought "i'm alive purely bc the universe is shit at pest control" would be my motivation of the day but damn this dude went hard

Hey folks, if you want to fight back against the twitterfication of tumblr USE IT LIKE IT'S TUMBLR!!!!!! REBLOG THINGS!!!!!! USE THE TAGS TO SCREAM AT YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!!!

Woke up to this having more reblogs than likes! Keep it going! Do it on every post! REBLOG THINGS ON THE REBLOGGING THINGS SITE!

I just had a discussion with my friend about fanfiction and how we tend to assume that women are the writers without any actual proof. Then I said, hey, I know fanfiction written by gay and trans dudes. But then I remembered, wait, I think I know one writer who just must be cis het based on his work. Anyway, all writers, be honest, who are you?

Please reblog if you're interested in the results.

Oh please answer this poll, it might be semi-representative if the number of responses is high enough