Avatar

CounterProActive

@acegreen7

I was at the bar in the International Airport when a small Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me, and starts drinking a beer. I asked him, “Do you know any of those martial arts, like Kung-Fu, or Karate?” He says “No, why in the hell would you ask? Is it because I am Chinese?”

“No”, I said, “It’s because you’re drinking my beer…”

A Möbius strip walks into a bar, sobbing. 

The bartender asks, “What’s wrong, buddy?” The Möbius strip replies, “Where do I even begin?”

Avatar

gonna start making snopes-style responses to urban legends about tumblr

Avatar

"this how we lost post editing and it was still worth it"

❌ False

The John Green Cock Monologue, while one of the most egregious examples of post editing, was not why the ability to edit posts was taken away. This feature was removed because scammers would edit posts with huge note counts to try to make their scams look legit.

Avatar

"those are his hooves, bitch."

✅ True

Those are his hooves, bitch.

Avatar

Idk what it was but chat was so fucking funny this stream 💀💀

some of my favorite lines:

AND THE CROWD IS AFRAID 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥

HES BURNING THE UBER EATS 🔥🔥🔥🔥

HE CAN COOK… BUT I AINT EATING SHIT 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

WHAT IS BRO SAYING 🔥🔥🔥

You are cooking sushi with a microwave

AND THE CROWD GOES MILD 🔥🔥

AND THE CROWD GOES CONCERNED 🔥🗣️

ITS FUCKING SOGGY

THE KITCHEN HAS WATER DAMAGE 🔥🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

THE CROWD HAS MOTION SICKNESS FROM THE TURN 🔥🔥

Avatar

Okay, so: in early drafts of Jules Verne's 1870 novel Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, Captain Nemo is a Polish guy bent on revenge against the Russian Empire for the murder of his family in the January Uprising. Verne's editor objected on the grounds that Russia was a French ally at the time of the book's writing, and in the actual, published version of the story, Nemo's national origin and precisely which empire he's pissed off at are left unspecified.

Later, in the 1875 quasi-sequel The Mysterious Island, Nemo is retconned as an Indian noble out for revenge against the British for the murder of his family in the Indian Rebellion of 1857 – basically the same as the original plan, simply substituting a different uprising and a different empire. Verne's editor raised no objections this time around, because fuck the British, right? Though Twenty Thousand Leagues and The Mysterious Island aren't 100% compatible in their respective timelines, this version of Nemo has customarily been back-ported into adaptations of Twenty Thousand Leagues ever since.

Now here's the funny part: perhaps as a jab at his editor, Verne made a specific plot point in Twenty Thousand Leagues of Professor Aronnax repeatedly trying and failing to figure out where the fuck Nemo is from. At one point his attempt to pin down Nemo's accent is frustrated by Nemo's vast multilingualism. At another point, he tries and fails to trick Nemo by quizzing him about latitude and longitude.

(To contextualise that last bit, at the time the book was written, there was no international agreement on which line of longitude should be zero degrees, and many nations had their own prime meridians; Aronnax hoped to identify Nemo's national origin by calculating which meridian he was giving his longitudes relative to. Nemo, however, immediately spots the ploy, and announces that he'll use the Paris meridian in deference to the fact that Aronnax is a Frenchman.)

The upshot is that at no point in the course of any of this Sherlock Holmes bullshit does Aronnax ever bring up the colour of Nemo's skin as a potential clue. In light of the book's publication history, this is almost certainly simply because Verne hadn't decided that Nemo was Indian yet. However, taking into account The Mysterios Island's retcon, it retroactively makes Aronnax the least racist Frenchman ever.

Avatar

One thing to remember about me is that if you ever bother or upset me I instantly turn into several small meat chunks and a skull

it is a legitimate travesty that autistic people aren't given the resources to live life as brilliant artists and instead have to play autistic death hell capitalism and get yelled at by dickheads

Avatar

The man doesn't want you to see the bunny be violent and beautiful and also her boyfriend has huge tits and (balls sometimes) and there's fairies and death rays and penguin hitler.

Avatar

You'll never know unless a lot of things change.

Thats fair