Why are you here? PAY ATTENTION.

how to explain to non-americans that the better call saul ads aren’t exaggerated for comedic effect they are super normie

Morgan & Morgan. For the people.

Fieger Law: All We Do Is Win

What do you think he does

How you know you’re in the great state of Alabama

I don't have a picture, but our area is flooded with a dude holding a comedically large hammer and looking to sue the shit out of any truckers that have injured you.

THE TEXAS HAMMER

Alexander Shunnarah is such a big meme in Alabama that people got this man to attend anime conventions multiple years in a row as a special guest that furries and cosplayers can take pictures with and get autographs from. He's on nearly Every billboard in the state.

don't forget these jungle law billboards i have to pass every day

that doesn't even scratch the surface there are so so many of them

I remember my friends and I laughing our asses off when we saw this billboard.

A significant chunk of the time I spent with @coffee-mage-sans-caffeine and @medicationmambo in Tampa was in fact dedicated to scanning the horizon for new personal injury lawyer ads so I could demonstrate how very real they were.

Anyway have my favorite from Austin: the Attorney That Rocks.

Sometimes now I see these and I think of @medicationmambo and I take a picture, which is how I came to snap a photo of this very Minnesotan variant the other day:

Here in IL, we have the Hat Man and Hairpiece

Hat Man is literally never seen without his hat. He goes on TV with the hat. He gives money to teachers with the hat. I supposed if you take enough benadryl, he shows up at your house with the hat.

I genuinely love the onion

I do think chappell should be allowed to spit and hiss at her fans and still be widely celebrated btw. as a reparation to all past lesbian celebrities.

and then people had the gall to say she was being unreasonable for setting boundaries

Furthermore whoever removed the audio jack from phones should be grilled in front of congress. The fact that I need a dongle to listen to music on a modern telephone while 20 years ago I could have simply plugged a universally standardized cord into the audio jack everyone knew how to use is an anti-human move that should be punished.

i think all quiet on the western front and the lord of the rings are in direct conversation with each other, as in theyre the retelling of the same war with one saying here’s what happened, we all died, and it did not matter at all and another going hush little boy, of course we won, of course your friends came back

someone should remake lord of the rings as a grandfather telling a fantasy story to his grand child with flashbacks to world war one showing the dead boys and men the characters were based on. grandpa why didn’t they just fly. because they didn’t. they didn’t.

i’m fine

I will never get over how Tolkien & Lewis took the horrors of war and spun them into fantasy.

Shivering in the trenches dreaming of cozy hobbit holes, shaking as bombs pockmark a forest and imagining each shallow mud-filled crater contains a new world—that maybe there are still as many beautiful things in the universe as there are bombs—that maybe the world is bigger than this moment and this ugliness and one day this will be a peaceful forest again full of small ponds.

I mean look at these photos of the shell craters in Sanctuary Woods, near Ypres Belgium and tell me it’s not the Wood Between The Worlds:

…oh.

it's good that we're saying "i don't feel guilty about pleasure im not Catholic" but we also need to start saying "i don't feel self-righteous about being overworked I'm not Puritan"

self driving cars aren’t even hard to make lol just program it not to hit stuff

if(goingToHitStuff) {

dont();

}

someone: wow, time flies

me: you can see them too?

someone: what?

me: the time flies?

@carbon-monoxide-detector

CREATURE????

just when you think it couldn’t be worse, you have to battle a creature

I’m choosing to believe him because I think there should still be mystery and adventure in the world

Okay I looked this one up. He said he talked to God, made up some songs, and lost nine kilos during his 20ish hours in the water. He was also completely nude when he was rescued.

hero’s journey

and this man? Odysseus

he also ate some kind of stick

my most boomer ass take is that i hate when i unmute a video of a cat and its just the most obnoxiously loud pop music playing over it. bro put that shit away i'm here to listen to your cat. i wanna hear what he has to say.

I have an ice-cold take to share but I'm trusting you all with my vulnerability

Obviously Taylor Swift's private jet carbon footprint is a fucking problem but also I think if she did the alternative and flew on commercial airplanes to get to her concerts then someone would absolutely bite her.

I think she'd safely get through about 5 flights but on the sixth there will be some Swiftie who spots her and enters a complete hyperventilation fugue state that manifests with something similar to cute-aggression but it would manifest in the form of biting Taylor Swift as much as possible. I don't think she would leave unscathed.

Like politicians already travel privately to avoid assassination and it's just that I believe the number of political assassins out there pales in comparison to the number of 23-year-old white sorority girls who are one Taylor-Swift-spotting away from putting their invisalign into practice.

Taylor Swift: *gets on plane*

Madison who is currently on probation at Phi-Beta-Epsilon for drunk-brawling with that bitch Morgan and is having a really hard time of it all right now:

Finding wisdom in the tags

no matter how terrible my day is. i can always end my day in bed imagining fictional characters making out sloppy style and fucking raw. and that's beautiful. there's some good in this world mister frodo and it's worth fighting for

To-cat-ata in B by sympawnies

I wanted someone to play it as soon as I saw it and they delivered

DIFFERENT WOMEN'S BODY TYPES SHOULD BE REPRESENTED NOT BECAUSE YOU FIND THEM HOT OR SEXY OR WANT THEM TO STEP ON YOU BUT BECAUSE THEYRE NORMAL RAAAAAH RAAAAAAAAAH I DONT CARE THAT YOU WANT A BUFF WOMAN TO THROW YOU SHUT UPPPPPP RAAAAAAAAAHHHH

WRONG!! fuck you!! this post very much also includes trans women!!!!

this post is radfem UNsafe!! activate the saw trap!!!