I’m just a girl,
standing in front of another girl,
asking her to read draft no. 47 of my two-sentence email
texting my coworker “hey! how are you feeling” and reading it 40 times to make sure i didn’t accidentally type how are you sex cum penis ass cum porn 1080p hot cock
and to make sure I’m not accidentally sending it to my estranged cousin we don’t miss whose number isn’t even in my phone
Are you a boy or girl lol
i am a problem
I called it a “mental breakdown” but, to be clear, I have always been *fully* hydrolyzed
The past few months have sucked majorly for me. I’ve just had a lot of stuff going on in my head and that’s made everything hard to deal with. It’s not my usual problem – if anything, I’m usually too tired to have many issues. What was supposed to be the reward for finishing grad school was feeling more at ease around people who are usually very hard for me to make small talk with, which turned out not to be the reward at all. I’ve had to spend most of my time trying to hold down my own emotions, and this is really fucking draining. There are no external problems in my life and I still feel like shit. I’m not a happy person and I hate it here. I’d like to think that I’ve at least got a little of a handle on this stuff but it’s been a long time since I’ve felt this fucked up.
On the other hand – I’ve been writing regularly this month and that’s been rewarding. I’m kind of proud of that and I think I should keep doing it.
It’s legitimately spooky how much I relate to this post.










