A Letter on the Christmas Eve.

Being grateful and thankful for what I have experienced this year is an understatement.

It’s not always easy, but it has been immeasurably rewarding.

To all the people I love and care about, all the people I want to keep in my life and hopefully I can stay in theirs: A year ago, little did I know that I would be here, with people like you, making all these memories. Thank you!

I guess it’s also right about time, to write a letter to my 2017 self. If you find something you can relate to in this letter, then that’s a small thing that I can do for you. Dear soon-to-be Dr. Hong, As you are about to put on the gown in 2017, I’m glad to see you have gained much more than this terminal degree, and please continually enjoy this learning experience, both in and out of the classroom.

I hope no matter what, you be a good person, as always, and understand that pretty much everything is more than meets the eyes. It’s hard to read people’s mind, and sometimes you might also find yourself being misunderstood. But don’t be afraid to show people you heart. Slowly but eventually, those who care enough will know who you are. Including yourself, everyone is fighting some battles in life that others might have zero idea about. There is a story behind each person. We all have been struggling to make things right. Something means nothing special to you, might be a huge deal for someone else, vise versa. So, never assume anything even if you think you have known enough. Try to know more, try to know better, especially when it’s about others. Put others before yourself. Always.

I hope you’ll be able to share more with your family. Being thousands miles away from home for these many years, I know it’s not easy for you. You should know that it might be even much harder for your parents, since you’re the only child in the family. I understand you don’t want your family to worry about you, especially in recent years. You seldom tell them your struggles. You only let them know after problems were solved. You want to live up to their high expectations. Your father was once an optometrist and your mother had been a obstetrician-gynecologist until she retired, so you think getting a Dr. title might be one step closer to make them proud, to make them forgive that you’re somehow different than they thought they know. They have no idea about the nights you cried yourself to sleep. They have no idea about the laps you ran to relieve stress. But you should remember that at the end of the day, they will have your back. And sometimes it’s okay to take off the shield in front of the people who love you most, who have been loving you unconditionally since day one.  

You are lucky that you also have Dollar as your furry family. She has been your most loyal friend although she might not be the #1 fan. “Every dog happens for a reason.” She rescued you from that emotional crisis. She has taught you about love. And she will be your ring-bearer when the day comes. She’s the one who always waits for you and welcomes you home with her paws in your hands; also the one who snores incredibly loud when you’re working on your dissertation. You two kinda play soccer and football together, sometimes you even bark at each other. Those precious and cute moments, please create more in the future. And you don’t ever doubt that she loves you more than you could imagine. At least, she needs you more than you would ever know.

I hope you find more people that you want to keep in life forever, and you are brave enough to let them know. People come and go. I know you have reminded yourself to be prepared for that. For those who choose to stay, you’re really thankful and never take it for granted. Like your close friends who roast you often for fun but have always lifted you up. Like your supervisors who are super nice and supportive, allowing you to have flexible schedules so that you could attend the club soccer practices and travel with the team for all the away games. Like your colleagues who accept who you are and have provided you unconditional support. And those who have changed you in many aspects of your life, I know how much you want to keep them forever. You know, life is too short to skip anything or anyone that you want to have. There is no time to regret. Whether it’s about family, friendships, or romantic relationships, you should reach out enough to meet the other at least halfway. Sometimes, you might need to go the extra miles. I believe you’d do whatever to keep them. No matter how hard it will be, no matter how long it will take. As much as you know you have a typical introvert personality, don’t use it as an excuse. Don’t be shy to let those people know how much they mean to you. When you think of them, tell them. As frequently as possible, as sincerely as you mean to. I know you understand, telling them is not for hearing it back. I hope you understand, telling them is a brave thing you could do.

I hope what you have learned in school would establish a solid stance for you, and you’ve realized that the years in school turn out to be some best years in life. The education you’ve received, as well as the professional, physical, and personal development you’ve obtained at OU, will definitely help to establish a solid foundation that pretty much nothing will shake your stance to fully be yourself, to be a good person. During the process of completing your dissertation, you got to know a group of DI international student athletes, whose insights and outstanding characters have inspired you and you couldn’t thank them enough. You call your dissertation committee “Fantastic Five”. Those scholars have made great impact on your academic life, and have taught you more than academics by example. If one day you decide to become a professor, be like them. Be a good teacher, a great person.

I hope you always have some people to share the happiness that the most beautiful game brings to you. I know how much soccer means to you. Literally a blessing part of your life. It led you to pursue your career in the sports industry, to get in the best Sports Admin. master program in the world. And you’ve got to know some beautiful people on and off the field, along this journey. You know, the beautiful things could be even much more beautiful because of the people involved. You know, happiness is meant to be shared.

I hope you don’t be afraid when it comes to love, and I’m sure you understand even just simply giving is somehow rewarding. I hope you get to stay with the person you want to be with for the rest of your life, and I know you wish “the rest of your life” could start right away. I hope you never forget that person’s favorite color, how they like their coffee, and you will do anything to hear the way they laugh. I hope you get to stay with the person who would never want to hurt you, but instead helps you repair the holes someone else put into your confidence. I hope you get to stay with the person who sees the stars in your eyes and always choose to find them over and over again. Then I hope you will be the most beautiful someone to that person who will never take you for granted. Then you will question why you were afraid to fall in love in the first place. Then you will be able to find something to adore even on the ugliest days. Then you will never doubt that love exists, and love wins. What would be even better? You, be that person to someone. :) It’s safe to fall in love. Wholeheartedly. All the way. There’s nothing to lose, right? Even if there’s, it’s not ashamed to lose to love. Those battles, you don’t have to win all the time.

I hope you will always believe in yourself, have the courage to take some adventures, have the big heart to embrace, as well as the unwavering desire to be the best. I know Iron Man is your favorite superhero. I’m sure you’d ask JARVIS to destroy all the armor suits and light up the sky for your Miss Pepper, if you were in the same shoes. Certainly, I’ve seen something more in common. You have a soft heart of steel. You’d light up your chest to fight for the people you love and care about. Without a second thought. Not holding back at all. Sometimes you doubt yourself too. You don’t want to bother others. You are afraid of giving less than you can get. So, try to take it easy a little bit. You don’t need to put on the armor all the time. Those people who love you and care about you have already witnessed how you learn to fly. So you don’t need to prove anything. In the journey beyond, I hope you keep fighting for being a better person and have more confidence in yourself. Regardless of what you do, who you are, or whom you surround yourself with, be authentic. Even if the scars are exposed. Even if the layers are peeled off. Even if the dark sides are seen. It’s okay, because we all have a few of our own. And no worries, if you fall, I’ll catch you. The superhero in your heart will catch you too. Remember, life is better than expected. There are countless amazing people who show the world their kindness, courage, and bright smiles that they were born to have or earned from their own battles. Be one of those amazing people.

You got this.                                                                                                                                                  Solar

                                                                                                              12.24.2016

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2016, appreciate it! 2017, ready to go! Be happy. Be healthy. Be kind and grateful. Be strong and brave. Become Dr. Hong. You know, one of the best feelings in life is looking forward to every tomorrow.

@eat-play-read-run @huffy-and-abs