Avatar

Adorkably Sexy (and married)

@absolute-chadette

This is a personal blog with no real theme but I tend to blog a lot of autumn related pictures, untagged spoilers, and cute animals. I am happily married to my favorite Canadian all-hail-Trudos. If you like my icon it was commissioned from atelier-aria and you should go check her out.

If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say "for you, it's on the mouse"

Avatar

She makes a mean whisker sour

Does she have anything non alcoholic?

Avatar
Avatar

Just putting all these pics together in one post

Avatar
Avatar

And, because this series wasn't cheesy enough:

Okay, but would y'all hire rats? Or do they not get along with mice?

Avatar

Jim Rat's specialty is ratwurst

Daughter of fantasy villains decides to rebel against her parents by actually going through with her arranged marriage to a local golden retriever of a prince instead of running off with some local villain-to-be or conquering said golden retriever’s kingdom and ruling it solo like her parents expect her to. Plus, sue her, she’s into the clean-cut earnest look.

At the same time, local prince charming discovers that he’s actually very into the gothic fiance his parents have landed him with in order to try and establish peace with the local evil lair down the lane, he would never have guessed a spiderweb pattern could look so fetching on a ball gown…?

Meanwhile, two pairs of parents in a tizzy because they both expected their offspring to whole-heartedly reject this union and give them an excuse to conquer their goody-two-shoes/evil neighbours, they’re not supposed to actually like each other-!

respective friend groups undergoing culture clash like all of prince charming’s knights are like what vile spell has been used to ensorcel our prince.  we must be on our guard for surely this is but a ruse for an assassination attempt

meanwhile the villain bride’s friends are all like clearly he loves you not, why do you persist in a manner that will ensure your own heart break, i mean if he was taking this seriously there would be at least three assassination attempts by now.  it’s like he doesn’t even notice that you have massive amounts of dark power to covet for his own

smashcut to

fully armored knight, clanging through the hallways in attempts at stealth, blades drawn: i’m just saying, i took an oath of protection.  this feels wrong.

prince charming: it’s not wrong, it’s celebrating cross cultural traditions for my beloved bride

knight: it’s attempted murder

prince charming: it’s a loving attempted murder

@chucktaylorupset  Meanwhile the bride has a bouquet of roses, cornflowers, and wheat sheaves on her desk in her room, and she’s not coming out until she’s written a beautiful and moving poem about how they favourably compare to her groom. It’s been three days. She’s gone through an entire raven’s worth of quills (unethically sourced). The ‘toads who used to be my friends’ list has gone up by one. But she’s bent dark forces and eldritch spirits to her will and, by the powers obscene, this will not be the thing that breaks her.

Sorceress friend: Please, just get him an amulet that will double his power at the cost of his soul, no one’s worth this.

Rebellious villainess: (nearly in tears) No, he brought his best knights to the castle and tried to kill me last week, at midnight, I can’t ignore something like that! He even kicked Cathulhu!

Sorceress friend: He nudged it with his foot. And then he apologized to it. In tears.

Rebellious villainess: (actually in tears now, for reasons of feels instead of poetic torment) He’s trying so hard!!!

Valley Noblewoman: “GAWD, that dark princess has such UGLY dresses. Wut are they made out of, corn strands?!”

Sorceress Friend, seeing a chance to be supportive and EVIL at the same time: “Oh no. They’re silk.”

Valley Noblewoman: “Wut? But silk is so expensive!”

Sorceress Friend: “Really? I never knew that. Why,” nonchalant flutter of hand fan, “most of my clothes are silk too, you know.”

Valley Noblewoman: “I don’t–”

Sorceress Friend: “You see, she just has so many silk dresses she gives them away. They’re her soft, dark caresses–metaphorically speaking, of course. Even the peasants can say they own one of the princess’s silk dresses.”

Valley Noblewoman: *Bluescreens*

AND MEANWHILE–

Rebellious Villainess: “…and this is Arachne, and this is Ungoliant, and this is Charlotte, and this is Gohma–she’s a little shy–”

Prince Charming: “I can see why you take such good care of your pets, they’re all so friendly…”

The next time you've got a friend over, set an example and put your phone on the table, visibly there but not too far away, to let them know that you're intentionally present, not distracted, your attention is undivided and you want to be fully focused on being right there to spend time with them. Don't mention it or draw attention to this, you're not doing this to be preachy or wanting praise, you just want to be a good friend and you value your friend's time. Ideally, your friend will either notice this or even pick it up without conscious notice, and set their own phone aside on the table as well.

Then, when your friend takes a minute to go to the bathroom, grab your phone and take a photo of your friend's phone sitting on your table. Do not touch it, and put your own phone back exactly where it was immediately once you've got the picture. Carry on with whatever you two were doing.

Once your time is up and your friend has left for home, wait for a good 15 minutes or so, for them to either get back home or be well on their way there. Text your friend, "hey, you forgot your phone", and send them the photo you took of their phone on your table. Set a stopwatch running from the moment your friend sees the message.

Measure how many seconds it takes for your friend to process this and tell you to go fuck yourself.

Avatar
Avatar

gouache painting I did for my mom for mother's day! painted this on and off over the span of a week. it was very fun to get to work with a physical medium again!