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C

@aboywithmisunderstoodwords

|the sea is who I choose to be|
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I cut myself and bleed my mattress red until I fall asleep, hoping I don't have to wake up ever again.

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having a flesh vessel is so annoying?????? like they have to be constantly watered, they have to be in specific temperature range to be comfortable, i’ve had a headache for like seven hours and nothing i do will get rid of it,

physical forms are so inconvenient??????????????

I knocked mine over yesterday and scraped off some of the outer barrier and it keeps sending me really annoying warning messages about it

blood.dll has caused an access violation exception

I still can’t figure off how to turn off the monthly compile time. It goes for like 7 days wrecks all the system and takes so much CPU time. 

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tharook

I got the wrong model, too, and there’s no returns or exchange policy. I’m trying to make do as best I can with aftermarket modifications, but even that’s a real bind. And then I have to deal with all the purists who try to tell me I should be happy with the model I was given.

the beard texture takes FOREVER to load even WITH the aftermarket mods

The code for my was poorly written and sends warning messages when nothing is wrong, causing it to be unable to function as usual.

Mine got some kind of error that made it stuck on the sad emotion

The battery life on mine is shit. I have to recharge it every day and it takes HOURS.

Mine has this issue where it runs too many background processes and opens programs at random until it forces a shutdown

Mine has extra code where there shouldn’t be and keeps jamming vital payhways for Blood.dll

I honestly think it’s trying to self destruct most days.

My antivirus software keeps identifying system files as threats.

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theredkite

The interface just… isn’t intuitive? at all?? I’ve had mine for years and I STILL don’t know how to make it do ANYTHING. Like maybe I’m just stupid? But I feel like something so basic should COME WITH A FUCKING MANUAL

I know loads of people have written walkthroughs, but there are so many different models and settings that it’s impossible to figure out if any given advice will work for me and I’m so tired I think this thing is MORE broken than when I got it because I don’t know how to fucking use it :(

I keep having to protect the casings for mine or else it will start peeling off

I think mine is trying to self destruct but instead it just restarts over and over again

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Lately I've been alone and lonely. That's a deadly combination, I need a place of comfort. Like somewhere I can run to, a place I can feel at home and be myself completely. I need to express myself. I need someone that care enough to ask but also understand everything without me having to say a word. Like I'm exhausted and this post that won't get any notes is the only safe place I can vent to lmao

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It's less painful everytime I cut an old scar open. But the cut, the cut gets deeper.The truth gets indistinct and the lies become reality. What is real and what is not? I don't really know, I don't know what's the issue. I'm seeing faces, hearing voices. I'm haunted by my past mistakes. "You should do this and you should do that. Go out more, read, meet new people, try a sport, join a club. Do the things you love more often. Consistency is the key." Ugh shut the fuck!! I don't need consistency what the fuck? I'm not lazy, I can commit. Actually I'm commited right now!! I'm not lazy I just don't want to be here. LMAO!! Like what the actual fuck. There is a difference between "I'm down ugh I want to die!". Like okay things arenot going your way but you really want them better, you don't want to die. You want a chance to live and experience life. And "I don't want to exist." I'm vibrating the second one, hella I don't want to exist energy. I don't want things better I just want to be dead already. I don't want to talk it I don't want to be here bro. But I'm committed I have responsibilities that's why I'm here. It's selfish to commit suicide. It's never about you it's about the ones you leave behind. People don't want you to die because they love you and they love you because you mean something to them. Can't change my mind because if you understood me you would know what I'm going through. But I guess I should open up right? Give them a chance to understand me, help me, be there for me and love me like I need to be loved. But after you open up what now? They know your struggling but nothing changes the things that you was hurting about in silence you are hurting about still and they know it. They can't do nothing for you but watch you suffer and die. So me not opening up is me being selfless. If I opened up and believe me I want to. I want to talk I want to cry. I want hugs, I want advice. I WANT HELP! I NEED HELP!! But I can't put the people I love in that position because if I opened up i'll expect something from them, something they can't give me!! So yeah I'm way too sad to write a suicide letter, I guess they will just find out I'm dead. Here goes my dreams, plans, goals. Idec, I just want to be dead.

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Who can you run. to when you're sad or need to rant? Who can you run to when you're lonely? Who can you run to when suicide is the only option you're left with? Who really took the time to learn to love you like you need to be loved?

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How fragile we lovers are. One dark suspicion and love’s dear dream at once becomes a harrowing nightmare. One unfeeling glance or word and we feel a shiver in our hearts and souls.

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I sat on the grass watching the greenish-yellow weeping willow against her background of blue. I sat there on the grass and then I thought of you.

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ok yeah i’m physically here, but mentally i’m dancing through meadows and forests in ireland to ancient folk songs so you best bet i’m gonna ask “what did you say” again for the fourth time.