I think one of the most frustrating things about modern conservatives is when they hate something for the wrong reason. And then you have to defend something you also hate.
"I hate Disney!" "Yes, their view on labor has been..." "Because of their woke garbage movies!" "Oh."
"I am sick of these Disney remakes!" "Yeah, it would be nice if they focused on creating original IPs instead of copy/paste remakes of animated classics." "They cast a black mermaid!" "Oh."
Things I think would happen if Obi-Wan survived the Death Star
- Everyone gushes over him in true hero worship fashion. The rebellion imitates him regina george style. "Obi-Wan wears beige robes, so I bleached all my clothing." "Obi-Wan lived in the desert for twenty years, so I'm going to live in the desert for twenty years." "One time, Obi-Wan accidentally stepped on my foot. I haven't washed my sock since."
- Nobody even questions why Obi-Wan chose to spend two decades on Tatooine, chalking it up to Jedi spirituality. Because of this assumption, people refrain from badmouthing Tatooine, hermits, deserts, robes, huts, sand, and other related items for fear of being offensive. Obi-Wan once walks around with a giant stain on his robe all day without a single person telling him because they believe it's there for religious reasons.
- Leia is the one who tells him, of course.
- (This makes Obi-Wan miss Anakin even more, because Anakin would not have hesitated to inform Obi-Wan with glee and at length.)
- Han is unimpressed. Exploits of General Obi-Wan Kenobi blaze through the barracks like wildfire, and Han remains unimpressed. This old guy? Luke and Leia love this old guy? Sure, he fought in the clone wars, and is into that Jedi mumbo jumbo, but the rebellion treats him like a long lost member of their favorite boy band. Sometimes Han wishes there was someone else who wouldn't take Obi-Wan seriously. The reverence is ridiculous.
- Han's boredom with Obi-Wan is only matched by Obi-Wan's indifference to Han. He doesn't even react to Han's flirting with Leia, as if he's used to ignoring in-your-face couples. Luke once groaningly asks Obi-Wan how he can stand it, and Obi-Wan dryly responds "Practice," without expanding.
- The fact that Obi-Wan trained Vader becomes widely known after talkative Luke talks. The rebellion is shocked--shocked, and curious. A few daring rebels ask him for stories. Obi-Wan merely smiles a half-smile and always tells them the same half-truth he told Luke.
- Except once, after a night of drinking when Obi-Wan tells Han, of all people, that Vader's puberty had been a nightmare to navigate. Han, for once in his life, has no idea how to respond.
- He and Ahsoka reunite. There is laughter and tears. Mostly tears.
- Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi's images are still so intertwined, even all these years later, that the Alliance High Council straight up asks Obi-Wan if Anakin is alive and in hiding. Rex is there, and Obi-Wan can see his intake of breath at the question, the hope flickering across his face. It twists something inside Obi-Wan, but he's used to the feeling by now.
- "No," Obi-Wan says quietly. "Anakin Skywalker died a long time ago."
- Nobody asks him about Anakin again.
- Obi-Wan smiles his half-smile and comments his wry comments and raises skeptical eyebrows, but a real smile rarely appears.
- When it does, it's always because of Luke and Leia.
i firmly believe everything we learn about Chewie only makes his friendship with Han funnier
Man I’d love to see more of these from different cultures.
LMFAO
this looks one of those posts that’s gonna get a million meme redraws with everyone’s OTPs and the ensemble cast watching
I think it’d be a good idea to let people from the Middle Ages use tumblr
dccomicing
anti vaxxers
look into my eyes and tell me a person from the Middle Ages who lost 3 kids by the time they are 25 and coughs up blood every now and then would be against a vial with a heaven-sent potion that can protect you from the demons that plague the Earth with just one small prick. look into my eyes and lie to me
Finally I can use this.
They would love vaccines.
Y’all, the Archive admins are made up of VOLUNTEERS. And they have been working for 12-13 HOURS STRAIGHT.
I better not hear any complaints when donation period comes around. OR ELSE.
EDIT: ITS BEEN 24 HOURS AT THIS POINT. 😭 And the volunteer staff still ain’t throwing the freakin towel. Thank you so much.🫡
politishaun-deactivated20230409
Across the country, judges increasingly are sending defendants to rehab instead of prison or jail. These diversion courts have become the bedrock of criminal justice reform, aiming to transform lives and ease overcrowded prisons.
But in the rush to spare people from prison, some judges are steering defendants into rehabs that are little more than lucrative work camps for private industry, an investigation by Reveal from The Center for Investigative Reporting has found.
The programs promise freedom from addiction. Instead, they’ve turned thousands of men and women into indentured servants.
The beneficiaries of these programs span the country, from Fortune 500 companies to factories and local businesses. The defendants work at a Coca-Cola bottling plant in Oklahoma, a construction firm in Alabama, a nursing home in North Carolina.
There’s little drug rehabilitation going on at these labor camps. Some of the companies that utilize the slave labor are so dependent on it that they’d go under without it. Some of the industries these men are forced to work in are notoriously dangerous. When they’re injured, the companies file workers compensation claims – and keep the money for themselves, even though the workers are typically not employees but clients.
Warning: no matter how bad you think this story is going to be, it’s worse
lezzyharpy
dangerously close to a realization
My older brother went to a rehab that basically was just a work camp they had them out in the central California summer heat doing landscaping work for no pay six days a week, under threat of being sent to prison, they are literal slave camps and for profit rehab will NEVER work and will always be disgustingly exploitive of some of societies most vulnerable people
Just sos you knows, AO3 is down under a DDOS attack right now. They’ve been coming back in little blips and then disappearing again. It’s been several hours. (For reference, it’s currently 3 p.m. eastern, July 10, 2023.)
The culprit (as with a few other DDOS attacks recently) is Anonymous Sudan, a group that is likely Russian, not Sudanese. The ‘reason’ they gave–that AO3 is “full of disgusting smuts and other LGBTQ+ and NSFW things,” is thin and probably not completely legit, though still legitimately concerning.
Reporting on AS: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2023-06-28/anonymous-sudan-does-group-behind-microsoft-cyberattack-have-ties-to-russia (you can use archive.ph to get this one, 12ft doesn’t seem to work)
As noted here, https://twitter.com/honeyskeleton/status/1678449598703050769:
DDOS protection is expensive especially for a high traffic site like ao3. And it’s uniquely vulnerable as an independent site without ads or other corporate support. SPECIFICALLY targeted bc of its queer works and yet ppl will still complain every time they ask for donations lmao
So, again, when AO3 comes back online, please don’t go hard with refreshing all your tabs. Please do remember to download fics you love early and often as you continue in your whole ~reading journey~. And please do support AO3 through a dono or becoming a donating member, if it is possible for you to do so.
Mark the electrician has been here for five minutes and he’s already said “well that’s…weird” twice from the other room and frankly I’m afraid to ask.
It’s not good when skilled tradesman are standing in the middle of your room pinching the bridge if their nose, is it?
Mark just referred to the wiring in our bedroom as “creative” and “interesting”.
This is fine.
And now he’s taking apart the ceiling. I’m not worried, are any of you worried? I’m not, haha, it’s not like this house was previously owned by someone who would do something stupid like try to wire their house themselves…or store tins of varnish under the furnace behind a secret alcove…
Ha ha…
Ha.
Hm.
Fuck.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO NEUTRAL WIRES??!?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S GROUNDED INTO THE SCREWS HOLDING UP THE CEILING LIGHT???!?!!
This post crosses my dashboard every so often and every time, I’m reminded of when I discovered that my whole house was grounded to a gas line.
Good times.
shinylesbianeevee
IT WAS WHAT?
Carlotta from Phantom of the Opera gets a raw deal! She refuses to perform until the theatre stops racking up OSHA violations and using her star power to effect change when anyone else on that stage would get fired!! Justice for Carlotta, who just wants safe working conditions!!
Sometimes, Andrew Lloyd Webber writes op eds about how those greedy theatre unions are ruining Broadway (by driving operating costs too high), and his stance on Carlotta really makes sense.
aemondtwoeyes
the best part of jon chapters is the frequency at which he does something completely physically impossible with absolutely no commentary. jon does not know that regular people cannot throw a pillow at a wall so hard it literally explodes so he’s just like anyway oh boy time for another day of iron bank loan paperwork and counting beets!
aemondtwoeyes
nights watch employees when their five foot six 16 year old boss is picking up full grown men by the throat again in the yard
i know westeros citrus physics are a little fucked already, but where do you think he would’ve picked up that this is a normal & efficient way to juice a (frozen!) lemon
The other Night Watchemen when it takes groups of three to pull a spear out of the frozen ground but the teenager next to them does it by himself
people get so confused trying to figure out the Lois/Clark/Superman situation that somehow they come to the conclusion that Clark is cheating on Lois with Superman
I mean Lois clearly has nothing to hide, everyone from here to Krypton’s seen Superman fly her with a chaste hand around her waist. but Clark puts an awful lot of effort into making sure no one ever gets a pic of him and Superman together
what is he worried Lois will see
people shake their heads sadly every time Superman visits the Daily Planet and then Clark emerges from a closet disheveled and tucking his shirt back into his pants. but if Lois won’t see it there’s nothing they can do
When Lois finds out she thinks it’s hilarious, and when someone finally tries to ‘break it to her’, she’s all ready.
“Oh, I know.”
“You… know?”
“Neither of them would ever lie to me.”
“So… *gears frantically spinning* this is like some kind of threesome thing?”
“Oh! No, no, no, absolutely not. *Lois pauses and grins the most lascivious grin she can produce* I just… watch.”
Clark gets a lot of very weird looks that day that he can’t understand at all.
@elidyce no, no, no. don’t hide a shit-stirring bruce and chaotic lois in the tags. this is an important addition, too. just gives that final touch that’s dearly needed to really complete this, y’know?
Choo Choo
Fuck, ya’ll I’d nut so fast.
Imagine trying to get off WITHOUT the chuff chuff noises
wake up besties new back breaking coal labor dropped
Is this the high speed rail everyone’s talking about?
some of my biggest insecurities only became insecurities after my mother pointed them out to me and turned my characteristics into flaws. parents, fucking watch what you say to your kids.
I know this post is meant for women, but this.
This post is for everyone actually, no worries. Boys and other genders can definitely experience what I’m talking about in my op.
Marvel Comics #1000: We’re Calling Him Ben
I feel this is an important addition. He saves so many people on a regular basis that this just keeps happening. And he feels so much for his uncle that the answer is always the same.
just-odradek
…. This hits different when you realise he’s canonically Jewish
Can you please elaborate ? I’m curious as to what it means
just-odradek
You can read a pretty good summary of it here, but as (most likely) Ashkenazi Jews, PP probably follows the minhag (custom) that says “that by naming a newborn child after a deceased loved one, the soul lives on through the child.” (Quoted from the site linked above.) And given how his Uncle Ben died, it just makes it all the more sadder tbh.
another fine distinction is that the soul isn’t thought to be reincarnated, it’s that the memory of the loved one is kept alive and more good deeds in life can be inspired by (and thus partially attributed to) the dead. ‘may their memory be a blessing’–the memory of the deceased is honored, respected, and who they were is retold as inspiration to the next generation.
ben’s memory is a blessing. that’s extremely jewish. spiderman is inspired not just by the shame of his death, but by the moral teachings he’d given peter in life. and his name given to these babies is another part of it: babies named in spiderman’s honor are also very honestly and truly named in his honor, and continue to be blessings to the world.
it’s very joyous, i think. very sweet.
"why do people conflate top/bottom and Dom/sub" because we haven't socially destigmatized kink. that's literally it.
if you say you're topping your boyfriend when you push him around in the bedroom you're being cool and quirky and using slang to describe your antics. if you do the same thing and say you're domming him you must be a seriously freaky person. that's why people use top to mean Dom and bottom to mean sub. they know even if we allow the nice clean gays with their fun bedroom terms into our society, we should never ever be like Those People who spend significant amounts of time and energy learning how to have the kind of sex so many of us clumsily imitate in our bedrooms.
"researching kink is forbidden. talking about kink is forbidden. slapping your partner and choking them is normal because I saw it in porn and my buddies say they do it. don't go to seminars on how to manage the risk of those activities or you're a sex-obsessed freak. I'm the normal one, the one whose partner chokes me with their belt and doesn't know what aftercare is. I'm a bottom."
the problem is that kink activities are socially acceptable and even expected, but having any awareness of the terminology or safe ways to play surrounding them is heavily stigmatized. kink anti-intellectualism is rampant among people of every political orientation because of how badly our society has poisoned us. so we can't even say Dom or sub to refer to ourselves. it's a symptom of that problem.