I don’t think healthy people every really get chronic illness.

I have a friend I know from when we were both 6. She is the only person living nearby and so she saw me go from walking through limping to wheelchair on a daily basis. I keep her updated on my health even tho we rarely hang out anymore. She was gonna come over yesterday and I had to cancel. She asked if I can’t hang out later that day. When I said i won’t feel better later, that if I feel that bad in the morning later will only get worse she got annoyed and “joked” that I’m just finding excuses. And I was surprised, she knows all about me being disabled after all? So, a bit taken aback, I told her it’s a normal thing for me.

“But you got the diagnosis now, aren’t you better?? I thought you’ll get better now”

She was honestly surprised and it made me realize a thing. They don’t get it. They don’t get that getting diagnosed only equals benefits like welfare or parking spot for us, and sometimes better pain meds but that is just like pushing luck. That it’s a forever thing. That that one day we felt good a week ago was just a bright spot and doesn’t mean we won’t need our aids anymore, cause chronic illness is not linear and will make a great comeback in next four hours, and the next good day is planned on when we’re 70. Cause when abled people are sick, they get better. And our illness is just an excuse for them. And when we say we will never get better they think we’re being dramatic and pessimistic. And I don’t think they’ll ever get it, cause to get it you need to live it. And I want my friends to stay healthy and not go through hell.

This is definitely okay to reblog and abled people are encouraged to reblog cause maybe it’ll help others understand

Hello it’s me Lexa and this post is relevant again as I just had the Legit Same Talk with someone and I exhausted my number of fucks to give

Oh my god I literally had this conversation with my mother an hour ago.

Mum: “So yeah, I was thinking that when I come down we could do visit an art gallery or a museum or something.”

Me: “I’ll have to see if I’m up for it, I’ve been going through a rough patch. I might not have the energy.”

Mum: “But you love art galleries.”

Me: “I know. What part of ‘it hurts to walk long distances now’ is hard for you though?”

I routinely have people well aware of my disabilities/chronic illness congratulate me on how I “seem to be doing so much better these days!” on a good pain/energy day and then basically try to stage an intervention a week later on a bad one. “You seem to be on a decline lately, I’m just concerned you’re not taking care of yourself!” And then a week later on a good day again congratulate me on how I really seem to have improved and must be making a real effort to keep on top of my health, with no irony or self-awareness whatsoever. The narrative of “getting better” is so ingrained that healthy abled people will ignore massive amounts of cognitive dissonance to apply it where it makes absolutely no sense.

And this belief in “getting better” is actively harmful because that’s how we get shitty things like people having their benefits “reviewed” and taken away because it’s been ten years and they’re not going to the doctor “enough.” They don’t need to get constant treatment after they know what they have, but that doesn’t mean they’re magically cured or just “not trying”!!! It means they’re ill, they’re always going to be ill, and going to the doctor every week isn’t going to change that (not to mention it’s expensive af)!

I see this in my job much more frequently than I should (we help people fight benefit denials and occasionally get back benefits after these “reviews”). Sometimes it’s justified - the person went back to work - but more often, it’s not, it’s just that some worker somewhere decided that this person or that person should be all better by now, and that’s just not how chronic illness works, so ending this idea that chronically ill people will just get better would help put a stop to shit like that.

They cannot comprehend that we do not control our health. In their world, when people are sick it’s because they caught it from someone else, and if you stay sick it’s your fault for not taking care of yourself. They cannot fathom a  world where you can 

do everything right and still be sick. 

“don’t let your disability define you! Fight! INspirEd! Taking back my life from Cancer!” This narrative is everywhere in Able culture. If you JUST tried harder you’d get better. THAT is what they live and believe.

Therefore to them if we are “still” sick or “Sick Again” it’s because WE did something wrong. They can’t comprehend a world where you can’t Earn health as a reward for performing purity, kale and yoga.

Also this idea that things will be different for ‘fun’ and ‘interesting’ activities. No, really, it doesn’t matter if I want to do something, I’m not in control here, I get just as fucking exhausted doing my favourite activities ever, I have told you so many times, why is no one hearing what I say.

It’s exhausting

Mushroom Nightlights

The Snowmade on Etsy

when i say “unfollow me if you support trump” im not saying it ironically. no, seriously, if you support trump then i dont want your disgraceful ass to be in any way associated with my blog. get out.

trump and his group of terrorists are currently attempting a coup d’état and occupiying Capitol Hill. supporting trump is supporting fascism and terrorism. period.

Redraw (why do you guys like the first one it was hideous)

Man youre a real one op. Amazing progress :')

Amazing meme

10/10 youre awesome ^-^

There are a lot of absolute idiots in the comments saying things like “a good dog will never hurt a baby” and “the child is never to blame if the dog attacks” and “special snowflakes call everything abuse”

Listen here you fucktards: dogs. Are not. Fucking. People. They don’t operate by human logic. They don’t follow human moral codes. It has nothing to do with it being a “good dog“ or not. If you were getting hit and pulled on and punched and scratched constantly, you just might react. A dog can’t speak up and say “hey please stop that you’re hurting me“. What he can do is move, lunge, bite, etc. These actions might intentionally or unintentionally harm your child. Use your fucking head and don’t let your kid beat up on your dog no matter how many times he’s “taken it” before; you never know when he might snap. Don’t teach your kids it’s OK to treat animals like punching bags and they’ll never react. That’s immensely unfair to both the animal and the child. You could have a hurt or dead child and a euthanized dog because you were fucking dumbass who thought the dogs were just there to be treated like toys.

Same goes for cats and any other pet. Teach your child how to properly treat animals or don’t have any fucking animals.

And it absolutely can be done, even at very young ages. When we rescued a young stray calico cat that showed up at our house, a friend of ours with a toddler took her in, and they taught their toddler immediately how to approach the slightly skittish cat They demonstrated appropriate behavior and touch, showed her how to move, even taught her some of the warning signs that kitty wanted her to stop touching her. Now, when this tiny, 3-year-old child approaches the cat, she coaches herself out loud, repeating “Calm, calm” (which is unbearably adorable, btw) and taking slow, deliberate steps so as not to startle the cat. 

They’re best friends now, but April still knows that when Cali wants down, she lets her, and she knows to be gentle and calm. In return, Cali tolerates being handled. But it was a relationship they worked to build, because her parents taught her how to treat the cat, and the potential consequences of not being gentle and calm around her. 

If you don’t think your child is old enough to understand how to treat a pet well, it’s safer and healthier for all involved not to leave them together unsupervised. 

Looking for a BNHA fic

I don’t know if there are any ships or if it was just Gen, but I vividly remember a scene where Inko Midoriya uses her telekinesis quirk to grab Endeavour’s shirtfront and yank him down to her level to verbally evisorate him.

when millennials were first heading into high school and college there was a huge trend in news stories about how stressed out our kids are, how their backs are getting messed up from carrying so many books, how they’re sleeping less and doing more school work, and how we should do more to help our kids have the childhoods we had because our kids are falling apart from stress and being forced to be more productive than kids should be. but then once millennials started hitting the workforce all the news was about how millennials are lazy and narcissistic and entitled lmao you were real concerned about us until you found out a 23 year old is more qualified to do your job than you

Omg I forgot about this

roller backpacks became a Thing because parents were so Concerned that their kids backs were getting majorly busted from carrying around something like a hundred pounds of textbooks. and then ten years later they complained millennials all have bad posture and make their office look lazy.

AO3′s users alert! Unauthorised fanworks copying

Dear AO3 users,

We would like to bring your attention to an ugly situation with unauthorized copying of works posted on AO3.

A lot of works from AO3 have been copied to fanfics.me (we’ll call this site FFM for brevity’s sake) and are still being copied right now, either:

— automatically by a code specifically created by FFM’s owner for this purpose, or

— by unaware or unscrupulous FFM’s users via semi-automatic method (by inserting a link to a work from AO3 into a web-worm on FFM).

All works from AO3 — with a few exceptions (I’ll elaborate on this below) — can end up on FFM without authors even noticing. Even fanarts or podfics.

FFM doesn’t comply with DMCA which means that such reposts endanger fanworks’ creators in case the copyright holder demands to delete the fanwork.

Authors of the copied works do not have any control over them; if the work is edited it won’t be updated on FFM until someone manually updates it.

Additionally FFM’s owner makes money out of reposted free fanworks from numerous Google and Yandex ads on each and every FFM’s page by having people go to this site when searching for fics on Google etc. So we recommend using an Ads Blocker when visiting this site in order to prevent the owner from earning more. Ghostery or Adblock Plus work just fine, but you can use any other Ads Blocker that is convenient to you.

Oftentimes FFM even shows up before the original post with the work on Google search results.

The owner’s e-mail: refery@fanfics.ru.

The owner at AO3.

We are trying to bring AO3’s users attention to this situation and help authors with taking their works down from FFM.

Briefly about the website and its owner

Let me start from the very beginning as it will bring into the light the nature of FFM and give a good example of its owner characteristic behavior.

At first, some person with nickname Refery created FFM as a web archive where authors — mostly from Harry Potter fandom — could publish their fanworks.

Time passed, the site grew and added some features (blogs, pre-moderation and etc.), and all was good and well up till the moment when Refery decided that it would be a great idea to copy to FFM fanworks published on other Russian fanfiction archives — among them from the biggest and most known site ficbook — without asking authors for permission. Even those works that had “Ask me before posting the story somewhere else” mentioned in its text or summary were copied.

For some time nobody noticed, but when finally and inevitably this came out the authors were outraged. It took a lot of time to finally persuade Refery to at least not to copy fanworks bearing a special tag “Уточнять у автора” (Ask the author first).

But after some time Refery — without giving any notice — violated his own promise and resumed copying to FFM fanworks that had the agreed upon tag. The authors complained again, so very reluctantly and after many painful discussions this feature was reinstalled.

So FFM has been notoriously known, mostly amongst Russian fandom, for claims on re-posting fanworks without the consent of the authors.

We’re mentioning this situation just to give you a detailed portrait of a person we are dealing with here.

Not only fanworks are copied to this website, but original works, too. Even those which were already published. There were all 7 of Harry Potter novels (both original text and translation), The Hobbit: There and Back Again (translation) and Vorkosigan Saga (translation) available for everybody to read and download. They were taken down only recently due to the attention this whole situation had drawn, but nothing ever goes away once it’s posted online and you can access the proof via Internet Wayback machine. We know for a fact there are other books on FFM and some actions have been taken in this regard, but still it takes time to find published books on this site.

Recently Refery decided that Russian archives are not enough for him and started copying all fanworks into FFM without any permission from the authors from numerous sites, like AO3, fanfiction.net, fictionpress.com, fanfiktion.de and likely other web-archives.

Moreover, the authors of these works can not delete their works from FFM and/or manage them. The site is in Russian only and, hence, we strongly believe that non-Russian speaking authors even do not know that their works are reposted somewhere else.

As a Russian fan-community, we have tried to stop such activity of FFM many times; however, we have not been successful in achieving our goal completely. Our most recent achievement is that the FFM’s owner implemented the “Don’t copy to another site” tag created specifically for AO3 (here is the link to FFM’s owner post on his personal blog regarding this tag. Please use Ads Blocker!). This tag should be added to each work presented on AO3 in case the author does not want their works to be copied to FFM.

We are of the opinion that no work should be taken without permission in the first place, but this tag is all we’ve got.

Please note that it seems that some time ago there was similar case of unauthorized copying with other site. Please check this link, they give useful advice.

How to prevent copying from AO3

If you check AO3 you may notice that “Don’t copy to another site” tag has hugely emerged in the recent weeks, but mostly amongst Russian users and there is a good reason for this: the owner of FFM announced this tag only in Russian and only on his private blog, so naturally there is no way for non-Russian speaking AO3 users to know about this — albeit non-satisfactory — solution.

There are no guaranties that the FFM’s owner won’t change the rules again as has already happened numerous times before (few examples we described above) and that works with this tag won’t be reposted in the future, but for now it’s the only quick and working solution besides making your works visible only to registered users, which is not ideal. 

This situation is highly unpleasant, but we ask you not to delete your works from AO3, because if the work is deleted from AO3 it will be nearly impossible to delete it from FFM: we won’t be able to refresh it manually and remove the text.

Please note that adding this tag won’t work for texts that have already been copied. Only users who have accounts at FFM will be able to delete them. Each work needs to be deleted manually.

However, the Russian fandom — except for the owner of FFM — strongly condemns reposts without the consent of the author, so feel free to contact our volunteers (through DM or Ask on our tumblr page) providing the links to the works stolen from AO3, so we could delete them for you.

Unfortunately, it is not possible to cover all authors and works manually. So, we contacted AO3’ Technical Team with the aim to bring their attention to this situation and inform about it all AO3 users, and hope that AO3 team will find a general solution to resolve this problem, possibly, in collaboration with the AO3 lawyers.

We are trying to warn as many authors as possible and recently started spreading this information via comments on AO3; but considering the number of works copied to FFM informing all authors will take considerable time, and we can easily miss someone, especially since the copying is still in progress and new works from AO3 are appearing on FFM every day.

Please help us spread the word!

We tried to make a comprehensive FAQ about this. Feel free to ask if anything is unclear!

FAQ

Q: Can I check if my work was copied to FFM?

A: Yes, you can.

FFM makes money on Google and Yandex ads, so we recommend turning on the Ads Blocker of your choice before visiting this site.

Please follow this link, insert the title of your work or your AO3/other web-archive nickname into the field containing the words “insert-title-nickname” and hit “Искать” (Search).

For works rated Mature or Explicit you will be able to see only the caption “Текст произведения доступен только зарегистрированным пользователям старше 18 лет” (“The text of the work is available only to registered users over 18 years old”), but FFM users are able to read and download the story.

Q: My work from AO3 was copied. How can I take it down?

A: First of all add the tag “Don’t copy to another site” (without “ “) to the stories you want to be taken down.

Actually we would recommend adding this tag to all the works you don’t want to be copied.

Contact one of our volunteers (through DM or Ask on our tumblr page) providing links to your works or send an e-mail with your deletion request directly to the FFM owner at refery@fanfics.ru or at AO3. 

There is a third option: to register on FFM and delete the work yourself by hitting the refresh button, but considering that the site is in Russian we do not think it will be very convenient to those who do not speak Russian language.

Q: I got the message that my work has been deleted. How can I check if it is true?

A: You can go to FFM, search for you work, click on its title and scroll down.

After the summary there is a field that should look like this for those fics that have been deleted.

Basically it says that the author of this particular work has forbidden its copying and that only the information on its title, author’s nickname, rating, pairings, summary and the link to original post on AO3 are available. 

For works that are still available on FFM this field looks like this (if the work is open for non-registered users).

Q: My work copied from AO3 was deleted, but FFM still shows some information on it. Can it be deleted?

A: Even though the text of the fic is not going to be on FFM anymore after it has been deleted, the fic’s title, author’s name, rating, pairings, summary and link to original post on AO3 will remain there.

The deletion of this leftover information can be done only by the site owner himself.

Some Russian authors tried to make him to delete it, but in most cases the FFM’s owner refused them mentioning that publication of such information is in line with fair use concept and doesn’t violate authors’ rights.

We are yet unsure how to delete this leftover information. In case you need it as well, try contacting the FFM owner at refery@fanfics.ru or at AO3. Maybe e-mails of a large number of authors will work, but unfortunately we can’t guarantee anything. In case you need it, we can provide Russian text for you to send by e-mail (please contact our volunteers through DM or Ask on our tumblr page).

Q: My work from fanfiction.net/fictionpress.com/fanfiktion.de/other web-archives was copied to FFM. How can I take it down?

A: Unfortunately, there is no possible way for us to delete from FFM the fanworks that are copied from web-archives other then AO3. Only FFM’s owner can delete these works, please try contacting him at refery@fanfics.ru or at AO3. In case you need it, we can provide Russian text for you to send by e-mail (please contact our volunteers through DM or Ask on our tumblr page).

Please do not delete your works from the web-archive it was stolen from, because if the work is deleted it will be nearly impossible to delete it from FFM.

Also it seems that some time ago there was similar case of unauthorized copying with other site. Please check this link, they give useful advice.

So, someone just kindly informed me that some of my works have been copied to this site without my permission and against my expressed wishes as stated here.

Check if you were copied and spread the word please!

Now I will go spend energy I don’t have on dealing with this.

People who don’t understand the difference between punishment and discipline should, like, never have kids

hey op i dont understand the difference could you please explain?

Yeah ofc!! Sorry for being vague I was just venting and didnt expect reblogs haha

I’m gonna try to explain my point through examples.

Ex 1: toddler screaming and crying in the walmart

Ex 2: your teen is failing, like, all their classes

So basically, discipline is something you teach that requires time, communication, and sternness. Punishment is a single action meant to deliberately cause discomfort in an attempt to implement negative reinforcement. Not good.

HORF

i don’t have a nervous system. i am a nervous system

concept: after a few meetings, miles’ dad finally realizes that spiderman is like. a kid. and not even like a college kid, an actual, legitimate, “thinks dropping his voice actually disguises it” child. after his freak out (he went up against king pin but he’s so small?? rio he said he loved me he’s a baby-) he becomes very determined To Stop Spiderman (From Hurting Himself), but since the kid’s so slippery he mostly just… dads at him from the sidelines, yells encouragements and backs him up in fights and asks him if he’s okay afterwards between lectures on vigilantism and also do your parents know where you are young man? and at some point the double parenting starts to confuse miles and he accidentally calls him dad to his face while in the spiderman suit without even noticing. but jefferson notices and is like. Ah. My Child Now. and Operation: Stop Spiderman turns into Operation: Adopt Spiderman. so anyway he’s currently trying to figure out how to ask miles if he’d be okay with having a brother and miles is currently trying to figure out how to tell his own father that he can’t actually adopt him 

OP please I want to read this so bad

YES

I pretty much need this. Omg.

UNMUTE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

the lip syncing has me shook to absolute death

You CAN’T WATCH ONE WITHOUT THE OTHER HALF!

You've heard of OTPs and NoTPs, now get ready for...

WOAH-TPs, pairings you never considered but now ship.

Been there…