I have been hugging my pillow just like how i imagine id hug you the day we meet somehow it gives me comfort. You have no idea how much will it cost to not run back to you tell you how much you mean to me and how ill do my best to be enough for you. It hurts alot. You know I wanna hate her but if i hate her i have to hate you more cause you are the one who did this to me and hating you is too hard. To keep myself sane i think of you as 2 different person cause i know the akii i know wouldn't dare to let me get hurt like this he loves me alot and would be sick to his stomach seeing me cry about something he did he wouldn't love someone else especially he wouldn't let anything happen cause everything we planned is getting closer. Oh god it hurts