Americans love to post shit like "y'all remember being in elementary school and we had to line up in the cafeteria so a cop could put a loaded gun in everyone's mouth"
"I've been thinking about" something I've thought of for 5 seconds
"it just occurred to me" this has been bugging me for 11 years.
I'm about to wii sports resort to violence
I'm about to have a wii fit
it would be so cool to have an elephant fuck with your shit like just once i wanna be doing paperwork at a desk and an elephant trunk just moseys on over across the desk and starts moving stuff around and greabbing my pen and slapping my face and shit. would be awesome
Unironically, it would be so cool to be pranked by an elephant.
Pedestrian affirmations:
YOU ARE INVINCIBLE
AUTOMOBILES TREMBLE AT THE SIGHT OF YOU
GOD'S DIVINE LIGHT SHIELDS YOU
CROSSWALKS ARE YOUR HOLY PATH TO SALVATION
Don't let anyone tell you there isn't time for another smoke break. They're lying. get out there and sit on an upside down milk crate. NOW!
dont know milk crate. brug sit on log instead
Shut the fuck up Brug this post is for line cooks ONLY
let brug cook
color wheel challenge but make it girlboss insanity
rest in pieces lilli lilliangst
Im sorry but the mental image of someone's packer falling out of their pant leg is so funny to me. Hey king uh you dropped your dick
Imagine me dropping my dick and the having to look for it on all 4s like Velma searching for her glasses at the club
I hate applying for jobs. “desired salary for this role” one billion dollars next question
i made you a cookie but i fucked it with my penis until there was nothing
can we all just take a break from posting
yeah sure i need to go make another cookie anyway
not again
this is probably the best take I’ve heard so far on the debate of people being told that they aren’t having enough ‘compassion’ for billionaires making bad decisions and paying the obvious consequences for it
Scientific fraud is the most baffling thing ever to me like do they think they're just going to make a huge breakthrough and no one will notice that it's fake by trying to replicate their results
Yeah actually I just discovered how to turn plastic into gold. Oh you want to know how I did it
Starts running away cutely
