till deactivation do us part

It’s not even ok how accurate this is.

I regret having to make this addition:

reblog if you remember what it felt like to walk into blockbuster

— Nicola Yoon

“it’s just about self control” says the woman in the bin looking for the box of a cake she threw from the roof so she can trace the credit card of her ex girlfriend she’s not over with and see her again.

"adults trying to stay "hip" and keep up with youth culture and being years late is so cringey"

adult secret: its all intentional. nothing will prepare you for how fun it is to watch a teenagers face as you dab at them. i will floss when they least expect it and I will love every second of their horror.

fond memories of how one my shipmates would very earnestly ask the youngest deckhand ‘was that yeet? was that a yeet?” every time he tossed docklines

Posting smut and then disappearing for the next 3 months

the “pleasure to have in class” to overly active tumblr user pipeline

me, posting stuff for over 7 different fandoms at random all on the same blog:

Kestrel-dad not sure how to dad but he’s trying his best.

I love how he pops out of the nest and looks around like “hey babe… babe? Where r u… Babe? I… I have a problem”

Fancy nanners.

this is putrid and gross and unholy and godless and I hate it

i think this bedazzled banana is the thing that has finally broken me

Crying cause it really be this way 😭

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank You” will suffice. None of this “How did you get in my house” business. So rude

me_irl

if we skyping best believe im looking at myself in that lil window not u