I really like your deconstruction of the pk/pengo sitch. Very thorough and hits on a lot of important points!!! I have been following pk for an equally large timespan and pengo for only a year n half, but I have noticed that pengo does try to move blame away from himself quite often/doesn't take responsibility and it really bugs me, so i don't know if that clarifies or colors my opinion of the situation. I don't think a huge Callout with very large and hurtful accusations was necessary (cont)
(Cont) but even disregarding pengo, pk’s previous attitude towards conflict/resolution needs to change as it is completely unacceptable behavior to just get pissed and write a big angry post, even if it was in the heat of the moment and on a personal blog. ESPECIALLY since it was heat of the moment. No matter the other person, it’s stupid and shortsighted and mean. But the big reason why I still feel sympathetic for PK and not pengo is that it’s being unevenly judged, the intention I mean.
(Cont) The misplaced outrage coming from pk + co. is more on the fact that she was just venting, it really was just that, she didn’t name pengo or tag him, it was directly after and a way to get all the feelings out and she had tried to talk it through with him. And Pengo seems to have deliberately wanted to ruin PK’s life and tried his hardest to pin as much abusive behavior onto them as possible, tagging with all her tags, In a very hurtful manner, to try and slander/hurt someone deliberately.
Hi and thank you so much for posting in such a kind and understanding way even though I’ve made arguments against the person you feel sympathy for. That is a hard thing to do and I appreciate that you took the effort.
I do feel like your opinion of the situation is colored… here’s what I mean. Your reasoning seems to take this form:
PK’s mistake: writing a big, mean angry post in the heat of the moment
Pengo’s mistake: making serious allegations that could ruin PK’s life and then airing those allegations publicly
Therefore, Pengo is the more malicious party and PK deserves sympathy.
Pengo’s post was all about allegedly revealing the large number of cruel and abusive things that PK did while they were together. In our society, it is usually not considered ‘malicious’ to reveal that a person has been abusive—even if that revelation puts the person in jail! Can’t get more life-ruining than that. However, it is considered malicious to make false statements for the purpose of hurting another person’s reputation.
The fact that you did not even once acknowledge any of the abuses brought up in Pengo’s post as possible problems on PK’s part, and that you chose to depict Pengo’s ‘pinning of abusive behavior’ and attempt to spread the word in a negative light, suggests that at your core you believe that everything Pengo said is a complete lie.
So your reasoning is, essentially, circular: you believe Pengo is in the wrong because you believe Pengo is in the wrong. It boils down to nothing but unsubstantiated gut feeling. It’s absolutely fine to have gut feelings, but don’t be fooled into accepting them as any kind of ‘reason’ on their own.
Let’s examine the ‘just venting’ thing too.
PK had (has? Not sure if it’s still around) a private vent blog that is not open to the public. PK first vented about Pengo here, without using his name or tagging him, as you mentioned. Pengo had access to this blog at the time and realized that PK was talking about him. He let PK know over a private IM that he didn’t appreciate it.
Then, after that—even though PK had a private blog specifically for venting!—PK chose to make a very public second vent post in their kecrambles blog, which explicitly names Pengo (16 times, in fact) and viciously insults him in front of the general public (pretending that his prints were done with minimal effort, insinuating that his inability to sell prints was due to “a mixture of greed, naivety, and an idealized future”, claiming “he’s not really an adult, but a child”, and so on).
I feel that ‘just venting’ does not involve very deliberately choosing to attack a person’s reputation in front of thousands of strangers. PK already had a place to ‘just vent’—and PK decided that this was not enough.
I understand if you disagree, but to me, this action makes it seem like PK was out to ruin Pengo’s life—not the other way around.
