The Oracle

Middle-aged magical girl.

She's been defending the Earth since the early 90s and she's very tired.

My name is Tominaga Haruka. I was chosen by a magical talking animal, and for the last 29 years I've been Earth's one and only... Wonder-Sparkle Princess.

she's been fighting the same villains for three decades and they are also tired of it. Most of them aren't giving it their all. Half of them are in a groupchat they've added her to where they schedule their evil plans to make sure they don't interfere with each other, or more importantly, with *her* Xalkrax the space demon from outer space decided to attack the city when she was taking her vacation time once, and now he's dead, because even the power of friendship and redemption can't save you if you interrupt her rare vacations

Demon Queen Eluria: Gonna fill the city people's hearts with hatred on thursday to cause mayhem and discord.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Can't, got a PTA meeting.

Demon Queen Eluria: Friday?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: A birthday party.

Demon Queen Eluria: Damn. How about I fill just the mayor's heart with hatred then?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: That'd be redundant, lol. Maybe fill his heart with a desire to fix the fucking potholes?!

Demon Queen Eluria: LMFAO love you, bitch. Stay strong.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: You too, gurl. How's the husband? Still dead?

Demon Queen Eluria: Yep. Thanks for that, btw.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Don't mess with my time off :p

Why are people tagging this '#wonder sparkle princess' like that's a thing and not a name I made up exclusively for this post?

Congratulations on inventing a new tumblr deity!!

She isn't 29 years old. She's been a magical girl for 29 years. If she started at 14 (typical magical girl protagonist age) then she'd be 43.

Reblog if you’d attend!!

LETS GET THIS PARTAY STARTED! WHEN AND WHERE?!

YES! LETS DO THIS SHIT!

REBLOG SO HARD

LET’S DO THIS FUNKY THANG

I would so go to this.

Kay so this kinda needs to happen

Perhaps if this gets enough reblogs it’ll happen.

Tumbl-Con 2014, in Chicago. It’s happening.

http://tumbl-con-usa.tumblr.com/

love that we have this post so we can always see a trainwreck in progress, whenever we want

Like finding Pompeii graffiti from The Day Before

yeah I have ADHD:

A

Dog named Allie she's so cute I love her so much I also

Have ADHD irl but seriously look at my

Dog she's so wonderful I love her

Unmute !

That’s the most “meow” meow I’ve ever heard

SHE’S SO MAD THAT WATER IS WET

@is-the-cat-video-cute this is probably fine, I’m just curious

Rating: Cute

this kitten is vocalizing its annoyance, and it is indeed vocalizing it AT the water, as if the water is going to take a hint and stop being wet and gross on its paw.

you WET miette? you wet her paw like the fish???? oh! oh! jail for water! jail for water for One Thousand Years!!!!

First Half of 2023: 8 indie films worth checking out

Not so brave when they can't take helicopters through uncontested airspace to go sit on mountain peaks and laser designate poor dirt farmers from miles away

beautiful girls named ⚠️ Severe Weather keep messaging me

i’m tired of historical dramas trying to spice things up with sex scenes instead of giving the audience what they really want which is excessively long scenes of noble women being dressed in sumptuous and period accurate layers by their attendants with gratuitous shots of the era-appropriate fastenings and lacings being done

And long panning shots of historical buildings and locations that still exist, but bustling with activity back in another time period

Don’t forget: explaining what the politics and leading philosophies of the time period actually are

And artisans! Cooks! Clothiers! Craftmasters in the middle of the painstaking process of creating works of art to adorn the world the nobles inhabit. Beautiful embroidery and intricate feasts.

And armour that hasn’t been scoured down to its base metal thank you Victorians.

How a decorative glass plate is made.

forbidden crepe 

me right now

Original: @dolorific on tik tok

I think something very scary that is happening for the newer generation is that the invisible audience no longer exists. They’re not invisible, they’re right there, in their pocket all the time, and that is so physiologically damaging.

“he he ho ho elder millennial thinks technology is evil and Edison was a witch”

fucking no but don’t you remember in middle school when you were like “I’m horrible and everyone hates me” but you literally never had any evidence to back that up so you eventually grew out of it? Now imagine you had a little light box that people from all over the world could tell you that actually yeah they did hate you , and they could do it anonymously. Why do you think teens today are so fucking obsessed with cringe? Why do you think you haven’t seen a gen z horse girl? Like the audience isn’t invisible anymore and the kids have to perform form the second their born.

I think about this image almost everyday

Fairy Inkcap (Coprinellus disseminatus): This fungi is also known as "trooping crumble cap" and is a species of agaric fungus in the family Psathyrellaceae. The Fairy Inkcap does not dissolve into black ink (deliquesce) in maturity and it's possible to stumble upon a magical stand like this if you are able to get out into woodland.

Who wants to see the worst thing I’ve seen in the internet in a long time???

This is something serial killers do. That’s a legit flesh suit.

yes your fucking site

i’m crying laughing about this

some songs aren't just songs, they're feelings, they're a memory, they're vibes of a certain period of time in your life that you can't put into words