You can tell he’s going “ohhHhhhhHHH!” 😩😭 this is so cute lmao

this is one of most wholesome me posts ive ever seen

Respect girls who are virgins respect girls who suck 7 dicks at a time respect girls who don’t like dick respect girls who have dicks

reblog if you’re def the kind of person who

reblog if you’re def the kind of person who

When I get comfortable with people I start using them as pillows and foot rests

when i get used as a pillow or foot rest i feel loved

I am both of these people

I work at Starbucks and yesterday night these two big Italian men come in and order some coffees so I ask for the first guys name and he says in his thick Italian accent that it’s Mario. I’m thinking ok that’s a pretty common name for a middle aged Italian dude. But then his friend orders an when I ask his name he says its Luigi

and I can’t help it

I giggle a little to which Luigi says to his friend Mario “I told you she’d get it” and that’s the story of how I got memed on by two middle aged Italian men on Christmas eve

Things That Happened On My First Day At Target

-Sold lingerie to an eighty year old woman

-Got a free salted caramel frappacino from the suspectedly gay barista, Parker

-Sold a bra to the mom of a sixteen year old girl who was cringing the entire time

-Had a very engaging conversation with a three year old boy about colors. We both like blue.

-Served an old woman who I thought had an impressive mustache, but it was just nose hair

-Watched her and two other women with her get trapped between two sets of automatic doors because they did not understand how to open them. How they got through the first set, I still do not know.

-Sold fifteen gallons of kitty litter to a soccer mom who refused to break eye contact

-Got a second free starbucks drink. This one was a pumpkin pie one that wasn’t even on the menu. I like this barista man.

-Gave dozens of children stickers. Several of them squealed when they got them. This is the best part of my job.

-Sold an old man $200 of furniture and got him to sign up for a Target credit card. Before he finished the last step, he turned and walked away with his cart without a word.

-He still hadn’t paid. I called him back and he apologized, saying “sorry, sometimes my diabetes makes me do that.” He didn’t finish getting the card.

-A woman came up with $220 of items. After a wad of coupons and a stack of free gift cards from other promotions, her total went down to $55. I want her to teach me. 

-Saw a girl skipping down the aisle in what can only be described as a pink princess fairy wedding dress. She was filled with happiness and if I hadn’t been on the clock I would have taken her. At the very least, I want that outfit for my own.

-Got approached by a large man named Jason. He told me not to steal. I will take this advice to heart. 

-Met a woman referred to only as The Cat Lady. She asked if I wanted her to buy me a keychain from Ross. I told her I had no keys. She nodded solemnly and walked away, whispering their exact location inside Ross, just in case.

-Got called into the HR Head’s office at the end of my shift. I was expecting to be yelled at for some reason. She and another lead showered me in compliments for ten minutes straight, saying a lot of managers had been saying great things about me all day. Not what I expected, but I’ll take it.

Day Two:

-Intimidating farmer man in overalls and pigtails came through my checkout. He bought a bucket. He spoke no words. He made no eye contact. He left me with questions.

-Three college boys came through, each buying spandex and makeup wipes. They spoke no words. They made too much eye contact. They left me with more questions. I question when this job will provide answers.

-A three year old came through, pushed by his personal chauffeur. He bought one small Spider-Man onesie. He carried out the entire transaction on his own. He was the most polite customer I have had so far.

-Three people walked away without their change. Only two returned.

-A man bought thirty light bulbs with a coupon. He told me he did not need thirty light bulbs. He just likes coupons.

-He then walked to customer service, claiming to have returned several things he did not mean to. He then walked a lap around the store and left. He did not leave the store with his light bulbs. They were nowhere to be found.

-A customer came through looking nervous. She leaned over the counter. She whispered to me. Someone had pooped in the baby supplies aisle. All evidence pointed to it not being a baby.  

My dear lgbt+ children, 

Seven years ago, my mother said having a gay child would be the worst thing that could ever happen to a parent and if one of her kids were gay, she couldn’t love them anymore. 

Yesterday, my mother sent me the link to a website about a lgbt+ christmas market and wrote “Your girlfriend would love this!”. 

People can change. Sometimes it just takes them a couple years.  

Stay hopeful. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom 

This needs to be bumped for my followers. Stay hopeful!

don’t even get me started

Okay

thanks

me: cant believe im about to mcfreakin lose my virginity boy: *already putting pants back on*

Growing up in an abusive household is a fucking trip dude……If you’ve never had someone angrily wash a dish at you or fold a sock in your direction then how are you gonna understand why I get nervous when you quietly do the laundry, or why I ask “are you mad at me?” when you set the bag of groceries down too hard? It’s a totally different way of living and it impacts you long after you’ve left the situation.

This is so important.

Abused kids speak a language you can’t learn

My heart races when I hear someone sigh and then the adrenaline takes forever to wear off. I hate having these reactions even when I know I am safe.

I’m so mad because this worked

help me roger

Reblogging myself because

Originally posted by gifs-for-the-masses

Reblogging myself because… what was that? Five minutes?

O_O

………my friend has made me curious

help me roger

Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director

These never work for me, but here’s to trying.

Eh Roger is cute I might as well

That fish is so happy it makes me happy.

Reblogging myself because I reblogged this yesterday and got promoted today!

oh what the hell…lol.

this is important

help me roger

Roger plz

My crush is named roger, so why not

Keep the flame going for those we have lost to suicide. 

Couldn’t scroll

I don’t give a fuck if this doesn’t suit your ‘theme’ have a heart and reblog.

YO PSA!!! If you get a link like this from one of your tumblr buddies, DON’T OPEN IT!!! IT’S NOT THEM THAT SENT IT!!!! IT’LL FUCK UP YOUR TUMBLR AND SEND THE LINK TO OTHERS ON YOUR ACCOUNT. EDIT: Shit! I might have to make a new account. This is screwing up my tumblr and one of my side blogs has been deleted.

Too bad I didnt see this sooner. If you get some random message from me guys, heres a thing.

Ughhhhhh this fucked up a blog I had been running for 5 years and I lost so many followers and i got locked out of my messenger, my ability to tag things, my whole theme/page setup, access to archives, everything. If you ever get a link like this from me or crying-for-the-moon (personal blog) DON’T CLICK IT. It sends a message to every mutual you have if you let the virus in. This link sent messages to hundreds and hundreds of people from my other blog and fucked up their blogs too. This shit is bad news.

This happened to me on my other blog but luckily (for some reason) it didn’t fuck me up that badly so I still have said blog but don’t take any chances guys!

“Writing a book is so easy.”

Yes. Writing a book is the easiest thing in the whole world. In fact, let me show you just how easy it is!

Goal: change all this paper into a book.

Eh, not that hard. I mean, you just have to read, right?

Maybe scratch a few notes in the margins as reminders.

Yeah, writing and editing isn’t time consuming or painstaking at all.

In fact, I find it quite relaxing. Good meditation. No stress whatsoever!

I mean, it’s not like writing a book involves any train of thought or decision making, like when to cut scenes, because whatever you write is perfect and there to stay!

I mean, come on, it’s not like I’m going to rewrite the first chapter 51 TIMES to make sure it’s how I want it, right? That’d be crazy.

And no, it’s not like I spent over 3,000 HOURS READING AND REVISING 14 DRAFTS OF THE BOOK to make this book readable.

No sweat, no tears, no blood, and DEFINITELY no coffee stains.

Nope, writing is the easiest job in the world. I don’t see why anyone thinks otherwise. I mean, all we do is scribble words and take a few out, right?

We feel no satisfaction AT ALL when we receive a shipment of the final product for a book signing. *yawn* BOR–ING.

Nope, we don’t get excited at all. It’s just another day in the life.

And the sequels? Bitch, please. That’s child’s play.

You’re right. Writing a book is so easy. It’s not stressful, not exciting, and it’s definitely not worth the reward of holding something that USED TO BE EXCLUSIVELY IN YOUR HEAD AND NOW YOU GET TO SHARE IT WITH THE WHOLE WORLD.

Im not sure this scares me or inspires me…

It both scared and inspires me

@yume-onata I believe in you!

LMFAO I’M CRYING

I always have a peter plan ‘,:)

Rumple ain’t taking your shit.

Don’t be hating on the peter plan 

I’ve been laughing at this for 5 minutes

My sister is concerned because I was on the floor crying

[Peter Pan] A Helpful Mood

Request: Hi! Before I say my request, I wanted to say that you are such a great writer and I love your work! Anyway, can you do an imagine where the reader is with the storybrooke gang but they dont pay attention to her and Peter kidnaps her and they dont care. Fluff pwease. Include smut if you want to:3

Pairing: Pan x Reader Genre: Fluff/Imagine Warnings: swearing, sass lol

A/N: Thank you! That means so much to me :3

————

“Alright guys let’s move it! We have a ton of ground to cover and if you want to make it anywhere near Pan’s camp on time we should leave now!” Emma yelled as the gang packed up their stuff.

You bolted up from your bed and popped your head out of your tent while still half asleep.

“Did you say… leaving?. Now!?” You asked in a panic.

No one decided to wake you up. No one decided to notice the fucking tent still standing in the middle of the camp with a whole fucking human inside.

“Oh, I forgot to wake you up. Sorry. Hurry and pack.” Emma apologised, even though this is the third time its happened since you stepped foot on Neverland.

“Say that to my ass, Emma.” You muttered under your breath as you started to take down your tarp.

———

“Guys watch out, theres some dreamshade thorns covering the paths. Watch where you’re stepping.” Charming warned as he cleared some bushes out of the way.

You looked around the place, trees, trees, trees, trees, smoke, trees. Wait… smoke?

“Hey gang? I see some smoke over there maybe its Pan’s camp… and the path looks clearer as well…” You call out since your at the back of the group.

No response.

Of fucking course.

“Fine then! I’ll just go this way all by myself!” You yell out a little louder.

“That’s great Y/N!” Regina replied back not paying attention.

“That’s great Y/N.” You mock in a high pitched voice as you turn off the pathway and towards the smoke.

“Not wise choice, love.” a British voice said from behind you.

“Peter Pan?” You whipped around to see a 17 year old boy with chestnut brown hair. He was well built, toned. Oh and his eyes, that green was absolutely intoxicating.

“I know I’m attractive but sweetness, don’t you know staring is rude?” He said with a smirk.

“Oh shut up fairy boy.” You snap at him.

He cocked a brow.

“Fairy boy!?– Oh my… this is going to be interesting.” Pan said under his breath.

“Wha-”

You suddenly felt light headed and before you knew it, your knee’s gave way and your eyes rolled back. Your vision went black.

————

Your eyes flickered open, your vision still blurry and your head groggy.

Was it all just a dream?

You wiped your face with your hands and sat up, in a bed…?

So maybe it wasn’t a dream.

“You were out for a while, I was beginning to wonder if you were dead.” Pan said from across the room.

He was lazily slumped in his chair, looking at your while playing with his knife.

“Where am I?” You asked.

“Well you’re at my camp. In my treehouse, to be exact.” Pan said, getting up and putting the knife down.

“How did I get here!?” You snap at him.

“Calm down, love. I simply cast a sleeping spell on you and teleported us here.” Pan replied, keeping calm.

“How long was I out….” You ask.

“Only a few hours.” Pan replies with a sickening grin.

“Only a few-! The gang is probably looking for me right now! Oh my god…!” You yell at the boy.

Pan scoffed at you, rolling his eyes at you.

“Come on Y/N, do you really think they’re looking for you right now? I doubt they’ve noticed you’re gone.” Pan says, smirking.

You pressed your lips into a thin line. You knew he was right, you hated to admit it but he was right.

“But hey look, don’t feel sad. You’re better off without them. They should’ve listened to you. Right now they’re just heading further and further away from here.” Pan said, sitting down next to you and placing his hand over yours.

“Since when were you a softie.” You scoffed, looking at him.

“I’m am definitely not a softie. Today’s just your lucky day that I’m in a helpful mood.” Pan defended.

“Excuses…excuses…” You chuckled.

Robbie goes from this:

an adorable cute kid

to the awk 12 year old years (but still cute)

then to a cute tween

the getting into puberty teen years 

then BOOM hottest boy alive

that is all

Puberty hit him like a cinder-block

Reblog if you want a terrible, 3 sentence fan fiction in your ask, based on your url

THIS HAS OVER 40,000 NOTES AND WITHIN FIFTEEN MINUTES I FOUND THIS IN MY MESSAGES:

“and then i saw him walk across the room. he got very close to me and whispered “back that sass up”“

80,000 NOTES AND I GOT ONE!

“ He descended upon me, that pink archangel, with those pink and ripe nipples. “

12 minutes “Oh not. Not another fire bender!” I said to myself. But then he came up behind me and grabbed my ass. So he’s cool now I guess 288,250 notes

Do it gang, do it…

DO IT

I dare you.