Elias can see through all eye symbols right?

Does this mean he can see through googly eyes?

Does this mean if you were to shake them he would get dizzy?

#Jon goes around when he thinks Elias is watching him and just shakes everything with eyes or eye symbols #Melanie punched paintings (via)

Imagine if someone was like “I believe in the abolition of all nation-states! People should be free to live where they want, practice what culture and speak what language they want, and so on, free of the confines of national identity!”

And you were like “great! I totally agree!”

And then they saw the “I support immigrants” pin on your jacket and went “whoa whoa whoa, what’s all this business about immigrants?”

And you go “well, just like you said, I want to abolish all nation-states, all borders. So I’m voicing my support for immigrants who cross those borders!”

And then they go “you claim to believe in the abolition of nations but you support immigrants? Don’t you realize that immigrants only reinforce national stereotypes? I mean, how can someone want to ‘become American’ or ‘become French’ when they recognize that categories like ‘American’ and ‘French’ are bullshit and regressive? I mean come on. Like I said, immigration only reinforces the idea of nations. If you were a real anti-nationalist, you would support banning all immigration! God, I can’t stand it when Mexicans or Chinese people claim to be American. Sorry honey, you were born a Mexican and you’ll always be Mexican xoxo. Plus, don’t you realize how many heinous crimes immigrants are responsible for?”

And you’re just like... “what?”

This is the experience of talking to TERFs about gender.

I think my favorite bit i do with customers is when white women are like ‘i dont know what to getttttt’ and i hit them with the ‘you should be bad~ 😈’

Saying ‘you should be bad!!’ In like Gay Voice to a white woman at starbucks has like the same psychological impact as going like ‘who’s a good boy?’ To a dog. It makes them so excited in a really endearing way.

Obsessed with the idea that a modern Dracula reimagining could have Count Dracula tossing Jonathan’s smart phone out the window, declaring it to be a “foul bauble of man’s vanity” and the bit would still work. XD

𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚘𝚘𝚗 𝙽𝚊𝚙 💤

I really wanted to contribute to this precious lil project and also push my own agenda: Give Jon a Nap 2021 💖

I have nothing to say for myself except that I’m having a really great time 😂 I hope you’re doing well!

please fucking watch this video

none of you will ever understand the visceral rage i hold for the slump of a man and his shitty haunted house goosebumps books none of you will EVER comprehend the pure utter contempt i hold i wish i could call him so many slurs im going to fucking invent one for the shitwad of a man that stands before me i already hated elias i despised the homophobe gay bitch but now you think to yourself wow they must love elias now no no no die faster i hate elias even more with the burning rage that consumed me for leitner killing him was MY right it was MY burning desire to see to fruition and that shithead STOLE it from me his STUPID OLD HANDS i hate it i hate him and i hate leitner hes so stupid fucking god damn hubris having shithead hiding in a fucking tunnel for twenty years pasty idiot you cant say people who live in their mothers base are invalid if you dont hate leitner he hid in gertrudes basements for twenty years and she barely knew i fucking hate him so much how often did he leave the tunnels did he just shit on the floor like a fucking rat did he leave only to shit in some random store bathroom like a sloth leaving the tree every few weeks is he blacklisted at starbucks for not buying anything before he shits NONE of you know the betrayal inflicted on me the WHOLE CHAT NEW ALL OF YOU BASTARDS KNEW what i was gonna walk into you all KNEW and you LET IT HAPPEN WHERE WAS MY TRIGGER WARNING YOU LET ME INTO THAT I WAS LED LIKE CALF TO SLAUGHTER FOR THE VIEWS got so mad i fucking gave up trying to type it had to move to CALL and you all had the audacity to sit there and laugh at me i was faced with the devil and you all looked at him dragging me into hell and LAUGHED none of you respect me i am the lowly clown dragging my sorry ass out of the clown car honking all the way and i am the clown weeping comically as my makeup runs down my polka-dotted outfit onto my massive squeaky shoes the lowly fire that burns withen me is fueled by my rage for jurgein book whore leitner the cold cannot seep into my bones when i am toasted by the thought of him bleeding to death after being fucking brutalized idiot so confused about why people hate him for his fucked up book collection IDIOT IDIOT put your fucking NAME on ALL of them WHY would they not fucking blame you when youre attached to EVERY FUCKING MURDER BOOK THEYVE EVER SEEN the only reprieve i get is i no longer have to hope hes dead because he IS making brutal pipe murder my fucking RINGTONE you were all so adamant i would forgive you for lying about the finale to my poor face when i saw what happens and unfortunately you were right my eyes are open my skin is clear the sky is sunny and the world has united as one to sing a song of peace and fortune as the body of jurgein leitner decays on the archive floor gonna pull a heist of the ages on the institute not for the secret tapes or the fucked up artifacts but for the soul purpose of kicking leitners corpse before they clean it out if i cant kill him the least i can do is make sure is ghost is writhing in pain as it descends to hell only reason im glad tma doesnt have visuals is the fact that looking at him would make me bald 

you find your purpose at twenty three, in a dusty office, between two pieces of paper. saving the world, he tells you. that’s what all of this is about. a cause worthy of your time, isn’t it?

certainly not what you thought you’d be doing, but it feels right. feels good, to question, to find, to dismantle. but it demands of you.

you barter your soul first. tie it to hers, the girl of endless flames and destruction. and oh, how it burns, but you swallow it, if it means saving the world.

you throw yourself into your work. nights spent pouring over files, hunting down books. colleagues instead of friends. it’s necessary, if it means saving the world.

you stalk terrible things, and when the time is right, you make them feel the weight of your gaze. and maybe it’s bad, maybe it should make you feel one step further from human, but it doesn’t matter, if it means saving the world.

you know when the new head emerges, he’s not who he claims to be. and, well, that’ll be a problem, you know. but it is one file among many. another thing to keep an eye on, to watch for the right opportunity to strike. you can afford to wait for this one, if it means saving the world.

you can feel eyes on you, always. or maybe it’s just one. you’re not sure, honestly. all you can do is carve up your books and make your peace with it, if it means saving the world.

you tear an innocent person limb from limb and give him to the dirt. you lead the ever faithful servant, the one who questions everything and everyone but you, to the maze that never ends. you help the boy with soft edges escape, and you sit by his bed while he dies, and afterwards, you steal his skin and bind him away. layer after layer of blood on your hands, if it means saving the world.

if it means saving the world.

it doesn’t mean saving the world.

he finds you pouring gasoline over the very place you helped defend for so long. it’s a fine plan, really. there are people upstairs, sure, but chances are good they’ll make it out, and if they don’t, well. one more mark on your stone conscience, if it means destroying him.

three shots, and you fall.

one last bit of knowledge imparted on you before you go: the fear of death’s cold grip is not the dull pain in your chest, nor the encroaching darkness on the edges of your vision. it is watching the gasoline lap at your feet, brushing your fingertips against the flint, and knowing you have failed.

something very touching about listening to johnathan magnus archives sims trying to be kind. it always sounds like the verbal equivalent of someone picking up a rotten banana peel with a pair of salad tongs; he's uncomfortable and awkward and he'd clearly rather be doing anything else but It Has To Be Done And So He Will Do It.

into season 2 now and there’s something even more touching about listening to johnathan “on all levels but the physical I am a red string corkboard filled with frantically underlined names” sims trying to be kind, like he’s terrified and paranoid and probably even more abrasive and yet he has even more Quiet Moments Where He Makes The Deliberate Effort To Be Gentler

The Season 5 trailer was a hoot.

@themagnusarchives

[id: art of martin blackwood and jonathan sims from the magnus archives. martin, a chubby freckled man with short hair, stands in the doorway holding a steaming cup of a tea. he knocks on the doorframe with a tentative smile. “knock knock,” he says. “…made you tea.” jon, a thin man with long hair, doesn’t look up. he says, clearly exhausted, “tea’s haunted…” martin pauses with one hand still mid-knock and a quizzical expression, staring straight ahead. “i-i’m sorry, what?” something many-legged begins to crawl out of the still-steaming teacup. cut to jon, head now raised, cocking a gun, looking extremely done. “tea’s fucking haunted martin.” end id]

Neither of them are human anymore, sometimes they can’t look each other in the eyes

Miscellaneous

Sanity

Three-person testing

Discovery

i appreciate her every day, but since today is caroline appreciation day, here she is!

was scrolling through my drafts and realised this unfinished shitpost is infinitely funnier as it is

S1 Jon Sims is so funny actually. "I don't want my assistant to get chopped into pieces but it has to be someone" "there's a perfectly natural explanation for a guy who claimed he was being haunted by a spider to be found dead and encased in spiderweb. Nothing supernatural at all." He spends several episodes really drilling in how terrible Martin is and then Martin puts worms on his desk and he's like "sleep in my bed." He doesn't believe in most supernatural stuff besides the evil books. Except that when confronted about this in a high stress situation he's like "it's all real actually. By the way are you a ghost?" He's fantastic he's a dick he's the best

Elias tried to Behold what was going on in Gertrude’s head once and he just very clearly heard her think “what do you want bitch boy” and never made an attempt again

Gertrude Robinson from The Magnus Archives could sacrifice me to an Eldritch Horror and I’d thank her

i am staring at him with all my eyes <3

Important News

He's gone

If I was to write a Portal fanfic it would be like glados is sending one of her now grown up highly trained crows out into the world with a camera / speaker module attached because her database doesn’t have the final season of some stupid romantic drama show she was watching and she can’t exactly just get to it because the internet is down due to minor case of alien takeover of earth so she’s trying to see if she can scout out like a dvd store that might have it because she’s so bored and then she bumps into chell and is like you have got to be kidding me