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ALL HAIL THE KURV4 UNION, I REPEAT, ALL HAIL

@69-rats

wake up, serve cunt, die, repeat

I remember years ago when I was still in therapy I told my therapist that I felt bad asking my friends for help because a lot of them were also going through some bad stuff and she told me

“You know, sometimes people in crisis will enjoy helping. It can be a distraction from their own problems.”

And then the next week I reached out to a friend who was in the middle of going through something about what I was going through and my therapist was right. That friend jumped at the opportunity to help.

And I’ve realized since then that my own problems rarely have anything to do with my ability to help others with theirs unless I am literally having an attack of some kind at that moment. In fact, it is actually refreshing to work on other peoples problems with them sometimes. Listening to problems you’re not soaking in constantly and helping your friend is often something you just want to do because you care about them. And you don’t stop caring about people because you’re having a hard time right now.

So I guess sometimes inviting someone into your sinking ship does work actually.

[This idea has been rattling in my brain and I had to share it.]

I know we all love the ‘humans are space orcs’ concept… but imagine, onboard the new ship they’ve been assigned to, the human meets an actual space orc. A massive monster… fangs and tusks and scars and a battle-hardened stare, looming over all the other life forms on the ship in its thick indestructible armour it refuses to remove. It barely drinks, it doesn’t need sleep, its massive shoulders are heavy with the terrible things it has experienced. Compared to the squishy & delicate human body, this thing is a walking tank.

… Except instead of hating/ignoring one another, the human and the monster start bonding over both coming from death planets. The human is excited to find a life form who doesn’t quiver with fear at the vague description of a jellyfish and the monster is ecstatic to meet someone who understands the feeling of being bitten by a qua’lem (cats are pretty close). They sit together and compare dangerous animals and locations as the other aliens look on in confusion and fear… oh, you also have dense jungles of deadly hidden predators, boiling acid lakes, tamed predatory killers, and areas with horrendously high and low temperatures? Sick!! 

It doesn’t take long before the two of them become totally inseparable. The human loves not feeling like some kind of crazy outsider and the monster is overjoyed they’ve finally found an equal in this unkillable marshmallow.

Monster: When I was a youngling, a grol-lik stung straight through my armour. The pain lasted for approximately 16 human hours. Human: Oh yeah man, I get that. As a kid I got a wasp stuck in my shirt. It stung me like four times, it was awful, and all my cousins just laughed at me… Monster: [using their arm screen to research human courting methods] I see.

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Not quite an ‘Orc’ per-se, but eh, close enough. See here giant spiky Deathworlder pining for tiny shouty Deathworlder.

cuteautumn
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TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

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likkrrr

WHAT THE FUCK IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE WHY DID SOMEONE REBLOG THIS

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derranger
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TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

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TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

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mr-freezo-42069

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

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rosadiaz-givesme-bipanic
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TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

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putting tergent and fabric roughener in my washing machine to make my clothes dirtier and more unseemly

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tumblr being all adults nowadays is so funny because my mutuals are either unemployed chainsmokers or Ezra, Bioengineering PHD Candidate at University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill

one of the important lessons to learn about adult life is that the gap between an unemployed chainsmoker and a bioengineering phd candidate is actually not that large

Heya folks n friends! Today on our LotR cooking series, we're going to be making something inspired by Mrs. Maggot, wife of Farmer Maggot. Originally we were going to do a cream of mushroom soup, but the idea of adding meat as a cheeky lil joke on their last names was too good to pass up. In my mind meat goes better with thin soups than creamy ones.

And thus Mrs. Maggots Meat 'N Mush Stew was born.

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to Mrs. Maggots Meat 'N Mush Stew?” YOU MIGHT ASKFor the stew portion itself we're going to be using a hearty base, aiming for a layering of flavors. If you feel comfortable making a roux, feel free to do so, but I did not due to energy levels and thus the flour in this recipe is only used for searing the meat before its added to the pot.

  • Cubed beef
  • Flour
  • Peanut oil
  • Beef stock
  • Dried porcini mushrooms
  • Carrots, chopped
  • Onion, diced
  • Garlic, crushed
  • Scallion, chopped
  • Bay leaf
  • Salt and pepper
  • Ground red pepper
  • Cumin
  • Zatarins gumbo file

For the other mushrooms, were going to cook them separate and throw them in at the end (but they'll have friends to keep them company!!).

  • Cremini mushrooms, sliced
  • Half an onion
  • Carrots
  • Garlic
  • Salt and pepper
  • Thyme
  • Olive oil

This took about 4 hours in total. If you have a slow cooker itd probably be easier to use that, but as is isn't too bad either. I mostly worked on commission stuff in the kitchen in-between stirring. "The best food is the one you don't have to make, the second best food is the one you don't have to think while making."

AND, “what does Mrs. Maggots Meat 'N Mush Stew taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

  • HOT HOT HOT
  • Tastes like walking from the cold into the cramped but cozy bar your friend works at
  • Meat was so tender and juicy, melts in your mouth. Makes you cry
  • It wanst actually carmelization but the onions had a hint of tasting caramelized
  • Mushrooms- a strong umami flavor with a bit of smokeyness
  • Once you get that Perfect level of gumbo file, it just makes every other element stick out more
  • Like an energy booster for the ingredients
  • A spotlight on the bay leaf, and oils, and spices

. If you don't want to use beef, feel free to use vegetable stock instead and replace the cubes with strips of king oyster mushrooms. Exclude the flour but still cook them in the pan. . this isnt officially part of the recipe since im not sure itd be 'on theme', but feel free to start your rice cooker around the 3 hour mark so you can have some hot rice ready for serving as filler.

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When I was looking through food and food mentions in LotR, Mrs.Maggot just stook out to me. 'Queen amongst farmers wives' is both really sweet and a fuckin killer description. What a legend. I wanted to do something based on her and our two options were either beer, bacon or raw mushrooms. Beer while very appealing is also not something you can whip up in a day, while raw mushrooms have a chance of killing my beloved readers. I don't want to talk about me and bacons sordid past.

And so as praise to this funky farmer women, may you add this stew to your collection of potpie, lasagna, and roast recipes.

Did i mention i started my first grease fire when making this? Yeah. Don't cover any empty greased pan even if your intent is to keep water from splashing into it.

Anyway, this recipe is a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) The partner has already made me pledge to cook it again hehehe

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

respect no op/no med trans people or die by my fucking sword b

and if you misgender no op/no med nonbinary people or call them 'attention seeking cis people' im stealing something from your fucking house

yesterday for April Fool’s my workplace had a short training article on recognizing computer-generated faces from real ones and one of the tricks mentioned was “count the teeth” and I just wanted to say that it’s both ironic and kind of horrifying how society has unwittingly cycled right back to IF YE MEET A MAN ON THE ROAD, COUNT HIS FINGERS LEST YE DEAL UNKNOWING WITH A FAE 

Where’s that image with the self driving car that is trapped in a salt circle made of “do not cross” symbols that its software won’t let it disobey

This one?

World Heritage Post

lord, grant me the courage to not read the comments, the wisdom to not read the comments, and the molotov cocktail just in case i read the comments anyway

Golf is an extremely effeminate game. Its a non-contact low-exertion activity played on a perfectly manicured little picnic lawn and between individual actions you sit in a dainty car and get driven to the next spot so you arent blemished by the act of walking under the sun. If elderly men ever realized this it would be cataclysmic

You dont even have to drive the little cart or handle the clubs yourself you can go to the front desk hire one of their eunuchs to do it all for you

Are .... are the caddies normally eunuchs?

Are... Are yours not?