“It's just a small handful of ibuprofen, and it will help the words fade away."

Older step sibling is a fae

My mom gave me some gluten free knock-off Girl Scout cookies and one of the Os fell off

I am consuming a media and you are going to hear about it

S3 Gus, Basically

(I am still coping)

You’ve heard of “Hunter dyes his hair red to match Flapjack” now get ready for “Hunter TRIES to dye his hair red but the sibling hair-dying ritual goes horribly wrong and now it is pink”

@taznovembercelebration - remember or forget

Dying wasn't bad it was just- sudden. One moment, Magnus was leaning over the counter to talk to Julia, who was twirling a strand of hair on her finger. Steven was behind her, rolling his eyes and putting papers away from their last order. Then, an explosion sounded from further down the street, shaking the floors and sending furniture every which way. Before Magnus could even begin to get his footing back, the ceiling of Hammer and Tongs caved in with another impact and he was dead.

It took him a second to realize, even. The massive rush of vertigo left him reeling. When he looked up, he wasn't in Hammer and Tongs anymore. In fact, he didn't even seem to be in Raven's Roost. He was kneeling in the middle of a long queue, people at his left and right. There was a black velvet rope keeping them all in order.

"Magnus," somebody said. Magnus looked up to see his next-door neighbor, who offer a hand to help him up. Magnus went to take it, still unsteady on his feet, and paused halfway up. "Magnus?"

Oh.

Ohhhh, no. No, this was bad. He wasn't supposed to- he had been- Magnus fell back down, suddenly gripped with all that he had forgotten. The velvet rope came down with him. Home, his real home, on his original planar system. The mission and the Hunger. He remembered the sound of Merle's laugh- he didn't know where Merle was. Fuck, he didn't know where anyone was. Barry, Taako, Davenport, Lup- fuck had someone found Lup yet? Had Lucretia-

Lucretia.

"Magnus!"

He had walked in on her feeding her journals to Fisher. She must have found a way around the memory block, because she was smart and Magnus knew she wouldn't have done that if no one would be there as a backup. She had been planning this for a while, hadn't she? How- how many years had it been? He didn't know. That scared him, just a little. One part of his mind said that he had been in Raven's Roost the whole time and the other was remembering his mother's garden, their little house that he never managed to find on any of his jogs.

She had to have had a good reason. He couldn't- she wouldn't betray them if she didn't have a good plan. Like, Magnus wasn't a magic person, but maybe she had thought her idea could work? Maybe? From what he knew, it deffo wouldn't have, but maybe? But that begs the question of why. Why did she have to do it alone? Why couldn't she just talk to them? Why... why hadn't she trusted him? Why did she stash him away in Raven's Roost-

"Magnus, baby, look at me," there was a hand cupping his face. Magnus looked up. Julia. And next to her, Steven. "Are you okay?"

"We fucked up," he said.

"No," Julia said. "No, we didn't. It's not our fault that Kalen-"

"No," Magnus said. He felt like he was shifting through the static with each blink. Blink, he grew up with two suns and that's why he was always so cold. Blink, he and Taako and Merle were sitting around a campfire, the Light stored in Magnus's backpack. Blink, Davenport was teaching him how to drive the Starblaster. Blink, he was watching Barry and Lup perform. Blink, meeting Lucretia, annoying her to the point of friendship, the late nights they spent up together reminiscing about home, the teary look on her face as he entered the room- "Not- not you. Me. My- my family."

"You're family," Steven repeated, his eyebrows creased. There was a little bit of a crowd around them now, watching him. "Your moms?"

"No," Magnus said again. He tried to get up and another rush of dizziness went through him. Julia caught him on his way down.

"Mags, just take a deep breath-"

"Julia," he said desperately, gripping her arm. "The Relics."

"The Relics?" Julia said, sounding confused. "Oh, the- like the Phoenix Fire Gau-"

"Yes," Magnus said. "We- Julia, I made one of those."

"You're not making sense, Magnus," Julia said.

"We had to make them," Magnus said, holding her a bit tighter. "The Hun-"

"Alright," said a new voice. Magnus jerked towards the sound. From the midst of the crowd around them came a man in a full three-piece suit. He had a big book open as he came through. He spoke a little louder this time, raising a hand to catch the attention. "Everyone from Raven's Roost, we're going to form a separate line." He gestured to a space off to the right. The velvet ropes dripped away. "Let's see here-"

"I can't be dead," Magnus said. Julia turned back to him, a worried look on her face. Steven was on his tiptoes, looking over the crowd as they moved to the new line.

"I'm sorry," Julia whispered, squeezing his hand. "It's- it's really shitty-"

"I- I can't be," Magnus said. "I have to figure out what the fuck Lucret-"

"I'm so sorry for your- well, your loss, I suppose, but we do need to move lines," said the suited man, pushing Julia along. He held out a hand for Magnus and Magnus took it, stumbling slightly. "Now, once everyone is situated, I can start getting a more organized line in place-"

"I can't be dead," Magnus said to him. "My family-"

"Ooh, sorry," the man grimaced, "but that's now how it works, is it? Listen, I'm sure you've got tons of family here waiting for you already. What's your name?"

"Magnus Burnsides," Magnus said, looking past the man. "If I wanted to get back-"

"Magnus Burnsides," the suited man said. He clicked his tongue a few times, flipping through the book. Julia tugged on his hand to get him to come to the other line. "Burnsides, Burnsides... oh. Burnsides, you say?"

"Yes, but-"

"Oh, no, you won't be in that line," the man said, standing up a little straighter.

"What d'you mean he won't be in that line?" Julia said. "We're both from Raven's Roost-"

"I'm not," Magnus said at the same time the man said,

"Oh, it doesn't really matter where Mangus is from, does it?" He shook his head, using his finger to point to something in his book. He read out loud, "Magnus Burnsides, twenty deaths, no accounts of visiting the Astral Plane before today. I suppose we'd be willing to wager this death off, since you have finally decided to visit us, but the rest?" The man grimaced, though he didn't really look all that upset. "That's not just some rule we can let you off for breaking, is it?"

"Magnus has never died before," Julia said, pushing past Magnus slightly.

"Julia," Magnus said, shaking his head. "I did kinda, uh-"

"I'm sorry, but the book doesn't lie," the man said, snapping said book shut. "The rest of you, I will deal with in a second, but you, Magnus? I have been dying to get to know what your whole deal is."

"Pun-intended?" Magnus tried.

"Oh, pun definitely intended," the man said. "I'm going to have to ask you to come with me peacefully, Magnus."

"And if we say no?" Julia said, now standing in front of Magnus. Magnus caught her hand in his and squeezed.

"If he says no," the man said, grinning. The skin from his face began to drip off, vanishing into smoke at his feet, until all that was left was a skull. He tucked the book under his arm and held out his hand to summon a sharp-looking scythe. The people in line around them shuffled away to avoid getting hit. "Then I supposed I'm going to have to take him in by force."

Brace yourselves

Fortunately, there is a very, very easy way to drive brands off tumblr.

Don’t follow them.

Yeah, they’ll likely blaze some posts.  The smart ones will blaze shitposts.  Don’t reblog them.  Don’t reblog, don’t follow, just let them lurk around the edges of tumblr.  That’s the whole joy of tumblr, honestly - the lack of algorithm means that they can’t game the system.  They can’t force their way in front of your eyeballs.

Brands here are like vampires - they can’t come in unless they’re invited.  Don’t let them in.

just had to take a fucking second and close my eyes because i remembered that on the night of november 5th tumblr had convinced me, an outsider, that this was an actual gif of Castiel Supernatural being sent to mega fruit hell

We all learnin’ today ig…

Its from the 1997 movie ‘Spawn’ if anyone was curious

btw this is the actual footage of castiel getting dragged to super hell

two years of venom took him there

I've been waiting for him to say this lmao

He's responsible for this beauty

There are more but I don't have them

all classics

That was wrong so i fixed it:

Do you ever like physically feel yourself pass your mental breaking point and then all you can think is “oh these next few days are going to be interesting”

Like you’re just sitting there silently and on the outside you seem fine and gathered but in your head you’re like “oh this is gonna hit me like a train any second”

Glad to see all 19k of us are clearly fine and okay

glyphs

I got a ikea shark :)

tfw ur gf won’t let u eat the nyquil haribos with ur bestie

ID: The "my day be so fine, then boom" meme, with the bottom text replaced with a screenshot of a panel from the adventure zone: eleventh hour graphic novel. The panel is of the name, "Lup" tthat has been scorched into a large pin board. End ID

anarchist 

"you're so weird" i was trapped in a crystal by a wizard for 10000 years give me a break

here’s a thing that happened to the queen of england:

basically, she was walking through the corridors of her balmoral palace, talking about something meaningless. i think it had to do with a movie. then this bus screeches up, and a bunch of people with “Down with Cis” shirts climbed out and starte