One of my favorite variations on the “Justice League Meets the Batfam” trope is the one where Dick, as Nightwing, joins the Justice League and makes Bruce suffer for it. Nightwing is unaffiliated with Batman so for all anyone knows Nightwing at most someone copying Batman’s philosophy in the neighboring city. More likely neither of them have ever spoken before. Bruce has to pretend like he doesn’t know His Son who is running around with the League. Dick is having a grand ole time being just a liiiiitle too familiar with Batman, not enough to blow their covers immediately but enough to make people confused and Bruce grumpy. Everyone thinks Batman is in the process of literally planning the murder of their new team member meanwhile Dick is in the Batcave getting yelled at about secret identities. He is clearly not listening to the lecture. Steph is behind Bruce mimicking his speech and acting innocent whenever he turns around. It’s great.
I just thought of a funny DpxDC prompt.
Danny was at a convention in Gotham. He was also getting some unfavorable attention from someone that mistook him for a Wayne and get them to leave him alone when he spots Bruce Wayne. He immediately goes up to Bruce and goes “There you are dad! This guy won’t stop following!”
Bruce, barely paying attention, on cloud nine because one of his kids needs help, just helps Danny and threatens the other person to take them to court for stalking his son or something.
Danny says his thanks and leaves.
Bruce doesn’t realize Danny wasn’t one of his kids until later.
This is correct and no I will not take criticism pt 4
Talia: *walking into the dinning room at Wayne manor*
Bruce: *sees her walk in* how’d you get in here?
Talia: beloved…really?
Bruce: *sighs knowing he has to fix his security systems*
Damian: hello mother
Talia: hello my heart *walks over to Damian and kissed his head*
Bruce: Talia what are you doing here?
Talia: *sees Jason* oh there’s my big boy *goes over to him and kisses his head as well*
Jason: *just looks at Bruce and gives him a shit eating grin*
Talia: I’m here to see my children of course. I have to check in from time to time to make sure you aren’t messing up
Bruce: *looks at her sideways*
Cass: *walks into the dinning room*
Talia: my sweet girl *goes over to Cassandra and gives her a hug*
Alfred: *walks in* I’m glad you could make it for dinner Miss Talia
Bruce: *looks at Alfred sideways*
*bonus*
Selina: *walking in and stealing shit cause Talia disabled all the security systems*
I will say it's kinda hilarious that Nintendo went "you know the most annoying characters from the original game? the ones that 90% of the fans hated so much that it became a whole meme?? the ones where the reward for finding all nine hundred of them is just a pile of shit??? yeah in the sequel let's make it so the players can glue them to rockets and bombs"
I don’t know why this caption made me laugh so hard
people think Batman is the vicious attack dog Superman has on a short leash. absolutely, incredibly wrong. Batman has Mr. “I love sunshine and save puppies from trees” on a leash that consists entirely of him saying “Kal” in a low tone because Superman can’t handle a perceived threat to Batman without absolutely losing it, red burning eyes and all.
I adore the headcanon that the Bats are basically the only thing holding back their respective Supers from tearing the world apart.
Someone insults Damian under his breath and he's squeezing Jon's hand to keep him from chucking him through a wall.
Kon is one second away from setting Jason on fire at all times despite the fact that Tim couldn't give less of a fuck about anything he did or could do or is doing
He’s not the only one who can fly. That dude created it all by himself, baby.
So I had my laces repeatedly undone by an oversized pigeon today.
While I was retying one shoe, they undid the other. And then proceeded to jump onto the bench to untie the ones I was retying.
So Google failed me in providing a handcuffed sub, I could only find pictures of handcuffed burgers for some unknown reason. This was of course a travesty of missed pun-opportunity, so I had to rectify it.
Also this can be reposted to other sites, I don’t care, it’s just a joke, didn’t put a signature on it for a reason.
A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The first guy answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”
The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture I showed is his side profile.”
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”
The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it’s a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?”
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “The suspect wears contact lenses.”
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
“Well, that’s an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.”
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
“Wow! I can’t believe it. It’s TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”
“That’s easy…” the third guy replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.”
Duke, new to the family, awkwardly entering the kitchen where various members of the Waynes are hanging out/baking/drooling over the baking: Uh… random question, is Tim dating someone?
Steph, all her training focused on stealing baked goods: oh yeah he’s got a boyfriend, why?
Duke, just wanted a book, utterly disgusted: I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t outing him if I told you he’s currently defiling the library.
Jason, slamming down a bowl of brownie batter: he’s fucking WHAT-
Also from my last post: my very canon not totally made up and geared toward me ages