If This Isn’t Love
Word count: 4.5K
Warnings: angst, blood, hospital stay, coma, school shooting
Pairing: Vada Cavell X Fem!Reader
———
You and Vada have been together since the school year started, and you had known each other for overall three years. And it was safe to say that she was your comfort person. Best friend and girlfriend all in one, she was YOUR person, your soulmate, everything you could ever wish for. You’d do everything together, go to the movies, spend nights out camping, at each other’s houses, all of it. You two were never seen apart from each other. You were in the same classes even, every day sitting next to each other, doing school projects together. You were the loudest in class, and it was easy to see the two of you even in detention. You never went to detention, anyways.
Today in class science teacher was illustrating a new project, and you were already smiling at Vada knowing you’d do it together, as the teacher gave the rules. “Everyone is free to choose their partner. Except the two of you” she pointed at you and Vada. “Vada’s with Mia, (Y/N)’s with Quinton” you sighed and looked over at Vada who was surprisingly smiling at Mia. They didn’t even know each other, but recently it was pretty clear that Mia had a crush on your girlfriend. Did you care? No, because you knew that she was loyal to you, and in some ways, you have never been more wrong in your entire life. For the first period of time ever since working on the project, everything was fine, Vada always coming to your place, answering your texts and acting all lovey dovey with you, both at school and at home.
But then things started going downhill… Vada was seen in school more with Mia than with you, and you had to admit you were indeed jealous. Maybe it wasn’t intentional, but Mia was stealing your girlfriend from you and Vada herself wasn’t realizing it. You had tried hanging out with them, but for most of the time Vada would ignore you, and tend to her new friend instead of even talking to you. And it started hurting a lot when even after the project had been turned it, they kept spending time together. Hell, she even stopped coming to your place, walking to school with Mia instead of you. You tried different ways of getting her to spend time with you but none of it was working. Today though, the film you and Vada had been waiting for over a year came out and you immediately bought tickets, knowing that she’ll definitely come with you.
You drove to school that morning like every day and when you arrived you immediately searched for Vada, who had obviously arrived with Mia. You ran over to them “babe!” You said and watched her turn around to face you, flashing you a smile. “Scream 6 came out today! We’re going together, right?” You asked hopeful, just wanting to spend time with your girlfriend. You two hadn’t spent time together in nearly a month. She looked back at Mia and the smile fell from her face “uh I’m going with Mia actually…” she said and looked at you, the smile falling from your face as well as you looked down. She truly was replacing you, was she? “But… you promised me we’d go together…” you said looking at her. She looked at you, probably feeling sorry, you didn’t know. “I know, but Mia’s already bought the tickets…” she said. Of course she had. The rich Mia always had money for whatever she wanted and she even had lots of friends! Couldn’t she go with someone else? You only had Vada… “but I also bought tickets already…” you said in a lower voice of tone, but she was already walking away, mouthing an ‘I’m sorry’ from afar.
You wanted to see how far she would go ignoring you. Was she even realizing how much she was hurting you? Surely she wasn’t, being too distracted to even remember your birthday. That’s right, she forgot about your birthday. She would always write you a long ass happy birthday text and take you flowers to school, but this time, she didn’t even look your way or give you a kiss. You were turning 18 and she didn’t remember. She used to give you so many attentions… yet she didn’t acknowledge you the whole morning, not the whole evening… you just texted her before dinner time.
You: hey babe, it’s my birthday today, Do you want to come at my place for dinner? My parents bought cake. I miss you.
You had now come to the conclusion that she just didn’t care anymore. Your parents even asked you why she wasn’t there for your birthday, and you simply told them she was sick. You didn’t want them feel pity towards you because your girlfriend was ignoring you. You needed to put an end to this situation. The next morning in school you stormed through the parking lot looking for Vada, when you found her of course she was with Mia but you took her from her arm and yanked her away. “(Y/N) what the hell? Let me go!” She said and you let her go since you had arrived somewhere quieter. “why are you ignoring me?” You asked her with tears in your eyes, she seemed confused. “What are you talking about?” She asked and you chuckled, rolling your eyes. “You seriously haven’t realized? It’s been almost two months, Vada. Two months of you ignoring me ever since you got to know Mia, you never come to my house anymore, you never text me, you never talk to me in class” you said, a few tears leaving your eyes.
“(Y/N), I don’t-“ you quickly interrupted her. “Shut up! Now you’re gonna listen to me. “Last year you promised me we’d go watch scream 6 together. Yet you go with the first chick you meet because “oh she already bought the ticket” but I had already bought them as well, yet you chose to go with her instead of going with your girlfriend. Yesterday it was my birthday, Vada. You didn’t text me a happy birthday, you didn’t kiss me, you didn’t even look at me! And when I texted you yesterday to come have dinner at my place, you left me on seen! All because you were probably with Mia and I’m sure I’m right!” You said by now crying. However she seemed insensitive to how you felt. “Yeah, I might have forgotten about your birthday, and I didn’t reply to you because I felt guilty! I didn’t know what to do…” she looked down, then reflecting on your words. “Are you Jealous?” She asked you, almost using a provocative tone of voice.
“Yes, I’m jealous Vada. And I have every right to be! You fucking replaced me with her” you said, and she shook her head in disbelief. “I can have all the friends I want and you won’t neglect me that” she said, not believing that you would do such thing to her. “I never fucking said that you can’t have friends! Jesus Vada do you hear yourself? You can’t even realize… you need to check your priorities because the last time I remembered you told me that you would never ever ignore me to be with your friends every day of every week of every month yet here you were. I never wanted much, just for you to spend a couple days with me and to remember my fucking birthday, yet you couldn’t even do that. I guess she’s more important” you teased, she didn’t care much anyway. “I will do whatever I want with my friends and my relationship” she really dared to say that. “A relationship means respect and control, and the fact that you can’t do any says a lot. Go be with Mia” you said wiping your eyes as you walked away and to class.
Useless to say that you didn’t talk to her from then on, and she didn’t change her way of acting around you. She kept being with Mia, and she didn’t even try to apologize to you. That day you were in the corridor as you left class for your usual 15-minutes-long stroll in the corridors during history class. You hated history, yet in this occasion you wished you had loved it more. You were walking exactly in the corridor when you found yourself standing in front of a guy with a rifle, the gun pointed at you. “Dude, put the gun down” you whispered, voice shaking as you raised your hands and tried stepping backwards. “Or what?” He said, a sadistic smile on his face. “If people hear or see you they’ll call the police and arrest you” he smirked and loaded the gun. You tried running away then, but it was useless as he shot you not one, not two, but three times, hitting your leg, your stomach and your left shoulder as you fell face down to the floor.
You didn’t really acknowledge what was happening from then on, but you heard and saw people running away, other being shot as you crawled to sit up against the lockers, screaming out in pain when you did as you cried and tried to catch your breath, but with each breath, your wounds hurt and bled out more. You could only put pressure on two of them and you went for the one on your stomach and the other on your shoulder, but your strength was slipping away from you, color draining from your face as those 6 minutes felt like eternity. A loud ringing noise echoed through your ears and your vision started to get blurry. You could hear police sirens from afar even if you weren’t sure, but just as you were about to fall asleep, You screamed in pain once again when you felt someone put pressure on your stomach and shoulder wounds. your eyes shot back open revealing Vada hovering over you, pressing hard on your wounds.
“I know it hurts, I’m sorry” she said and you you looked at her with eyes wide open, grunting in pain as you couldn’t even find it in yourself to speak. You looked at her, trying to breath but it was getting too much, the pain for you too much to bare. You were now lying down on the floor but you managed to raise your head up, and saw you were in a pool of your own blood. She applied even more pressure as you screamed even louder in pain, grasping her arm and squeezing it tightly from the pain. “I’m so sorry babe… you’ll be okay, you’ll be okay. I promise you” she said, to which you tried nodding. She’d caress your cheeks to comfort you, but right now she couldn’t because she was trying to stop the bleeding of both wounds on your upper body, the one on your shoulder being extremely close to your heart, you didn’t know how you were still alive.
Vada was crying too, and you were just noticing it. She was crying a lot, maybe both from shock and finding you like this. But she wasn’t bloody, she wasn’t hurt. You were just glad she was safe and this relief was enough to wash away each ounce of adrenaline you had left in your body. You fell asleep. “No! No no no don’t do this to me (Y/N)! Don’t you fucking dare!” She said and panicked, rushing her bloody hands through her hair. “HELP! PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP!” Vada yelled as she cried desperately, hands now shaking you to wake you up but it was useless, you seemed to be gone. Paramedics came over to the two of you and Vada didn’t want to move from you, but Mia pulled her back, hugging her trying to comfort her friend as Vada cried, screaming desperately as she crumbled to her knees. She couldn’t loose you, she had yet to make it up to you and she didn’t want to see you die with the regret of having made you feel like shit because of a new friend she made.
You were immediately rushed urgently to the hospital where you had a surgery to take the bullets out of your leg, Stomach and shoulder. Your leg was fine except for the scar it would have, you had some internal damage in your stomach which couldn’t yet be fixed, the bullet had gone too deep down because of the pressure that was applied to it and it caused a huge internal bleeding which was hard to stop. And the bullet in your shoulder had damaged the Aorta, luckily not in a fatal spot, so you were fine, considering. However your organs were damaged badly and doctors had to put you in a coma. In the meantime Vada had gone home, washed and changed clothes and rushed to the hospital. She asked where your room was and she paced in front of it while waiting for you to get back to surgery. She was still crying, being scared, anxious, all of the bad emotions she could feel. She waited hours in front of your room, and when they brought you back she sighed of relief.
“How is she?” She asked the doctor. “She’s fine now, but still not out of danger. The bullet in her shoulder damaged the aorta, the one in her stomach went too deep down and cut through other organs, there was a big internal bleeding…” he said, Vada interrupted him “I put pressure on her stomach- is it my fault? Did I do this to her?” She asked nervously, she was scared to have done this to you, she couldn’t bare it if she ended up hurting you this bad. “No, no. The bullet going deeper down was inevitable, putting pressure was the best thing you could do. If you didn’t she would have bled out more. You did the right thing kid” the doctor tried reassuring her, and it worked a little bit. “We had to put her in a coma. We can do that much to fix the damage on her organs but the rest is up to her. We don’t know when she’ll wake up.”
Vada was then let in the room. When she was in and she saw you, she let out a shaky breath as tears made their way up to her eyes again. She began crying uncontrollably as she sat on the chair next to your bed, holding your hand as she laid her head on the mattress, just crying and sniffling. “I-I’m sorry (Y/N). I’m so sorry I love you so much. I want to make it up to you please come back to me, please please please-“ she sobbed out and stayed in your room for a while. Your parents were out of town for work, and she was all you had. For weeks, she was all you had. She would come see you every day, she would comb your hair, talk to you, tell you how her days had been and even read you your favorite book, but there was always a hint of sadness in her voice, and her eyes were always swollen and full of tears.
Two months had passed by now, and you had started loosing weight. You had tubes in your mouth to breath and you were being fed by another tube going through your nose down to your stomach your body was slowly recovering, yet you never gave any sign of consciousness or whatsoever. Your parents after coming back home were in your hospital room daily, they brought Vada her meals, and god was she destroyed. She had ran out of things to tell you, however you could feel her there. She always held your hand and looked at you, sometimes laying in bed with you. “Hey darling. How are you?” Your mother asked Vada, coming into the room. Vada was laying her head on your bed, but sat back up when your mom talked to her. “Hi mrs (L/N)… I’m fine- considering…” she said, eyes still bloodshot, like the past two months. She had never stopped crying ever since.
“Vada…” your mother sat down next to her. “It’s okay to be sad. But now she’s almost completely healed up and we just need to wait for her to wake up. Her breathing has stabilized so she’s fine… you should go home and be with your family” she suggested, rubbing the younger girl’s back. “I don’t want to… I need to be here when she wakes up, I need to make it up to her…” obviously she had told your mother about everything that had happened before the shooting, figuring out that you probably didn’t tell her. Tears made their way to Vada’s eyes again as your mother pulled her in for a hug, where she broke down and only cried more. She didn’t go home though, she couldn’t even bring herself to stand up and leave your room. No, she needed to be with you when you woke up.
Two more weeks passed and your vitals were fully back to normal. It was now matter of days before you woke up and Vada was still coming to the hospital every day. It was 3 am and Vada was “sleeping” by your side. She was wide awake, too anxious that you’d wake up and she’d be asleep, so she played with your hair and held your hand. “When you wake up you absolutely need to take a shower. You really stink dude” she said with a sad giggle, but then she felt you squeeze her hand. That made her stop playing with your hair, and she saw you slightly open your eyes. “Holy shit!” She sat up and jumped off the bed, opening the door to your room. “Doctors! She woke up, she did it!” Vada shouted happily, she was so glad to see you alive and well. You couldn’t take your eyes off of her, her having been your safe place for these two months. However you couldn’t jet speak due to the tubes in your mouth, which the doctors came to remove and soon, you were alone with her.
You smiled at her and slightly raised your hand to wave at her. “Hey” you whispered, throat sore from not having talked in so long. The brunette burst out crying and immediately came towards you, hugging you tightly. Your wounds were all healed up, so it was safe. It took you a while to raise your arm and hug her back. And you let her stay there and hug you and cry until she wanted, which was about 10 minutes. She gripped your shirt, which was truly a hospital gown, pulling you in closer as she cried. When she calmed down she slightly pulled back to look at you. “H-how-“ you coughed slightly, your throat being really sore. Vada took the cup of water with the straw and held it for you to drink “how long have I been out?” You asked, your voice almost in a whisper. Vada smiled, god it was so good seeing you awake. “Almost three months”
You just nodded. It was a lot to take in, to you it just felt like a long deep sleep that went by quickly, though thinking on it, you just had to think about all the times you heard Vada’s voice even if it was distant. “And you’ve been here the whole time?” You asked, she nodded slightly and took a hold of your hand. “Yes.. I couldn’t leave you here alone. I’ve come here every day, I’ve slept here, studied here, talked to you, read to you. I couldn’t leave you alone… I had to make it up to you” you smiled weakly at what she said, you had “slept” for the past three months, but your body was constantly fighting, so you never really rested. Though the last sentence made you look away. “How’s Mia?” The smile fell from Vada’s face as well. “(Y/N), I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for how I made you feel… I never realized I made you feel like shit until I almost lost you and I will never, Never do that again… please forgive me…” she begged, she was still holding your hand, and she brought it up to her face as she leaned her cheek in it.
You slightly caressed her cheek with your thumb, god had you missed this. “Hey… I forgave you the moment you told me you’ve been here every day. I never told you you couldn’t have any friends, but maybe, you just have to practice splitting your time so that we both have time with you” you said with a small smile, she nodded eagerly. “I’ll do that. I promise you” she said with tears in her eyes as she gulped back a sob. You nodded in response. “She’s a good friend. I’ll never ask you to leave her behind.” The doctors let you rest the whole day, and the next day with theirs and Vada’s help you stood back on your feet. Your legs were pretty weak, especially the one you were shot at, and with a lot of effort and a lot of help, you managed to take a few steps. Eventually, at least your arms were strong enough so you could hold yourself up on crutches, and with a lot of convincing, you went back to school.
You were scared shitless, to say the least. But Vada was there comforting you, and surprisingly enough, so was Mia. Ever since you woke up you decided to invite her to your hospital room and get to know her, she was indeed a sweet girl and she even apologized to you for always “stealing” Vada from you and you reassured her telling her it was okay. You walked inside the place with your heart racing, memories of that day clouding your mind and Vada saw you were panicking, “it’s okay, the place is safe. There’s guards checking us and our bags every day. No one can come hurt you ever again” she said and placed her hand on your shoulder as you slowly walked in school. The corridors were surprisingly empty, and when you walked in the exact corridor you had been shot at, you stopped in your tracks, staring at those lockers you had bled out on.
You still had the trauma, being in a coma you never had the time to process what had happened and now it was all hitting you like a truck. Your breath quickened, tears pooling in your eyes as Vada’s gentle hand took you back to reality. “You’re okay” she said whispering, hand on your cheek as you nodded and took a deep breath, using the crutches to follow the two girls in front of you, as they took you to the GYM. As soon as you walked in you people jumped out as a surprise, everyone: students, teachers, even the principal and your parents. All accompanied by a huge sign reading “welcome back”. “What’s all this?” You asked, turning to Vada and Mia. “You’re the only one that was shot and survived. The school has raised a campaign in your honor, everyone from the school has been paying for your cures” Vada started, and useless to say you were shocked. You never expected this much awareness to be raised for you.
“Was this your idea?” You asked Vada, but she smiled at you. “It was mine actually” Mia said, and you turned to look at her, and saw how she scratched her neck nervously. “My dads have a lot of money, and when I told them about your situation they wasted no time in starting this found-raising campaign. You needed it and if there’s one thing my parents always taught me is to help who’s in need. Plus, Vada needed you. I care about her and I couldn’t just see her and you in pain” she said and looked away. You slowly walked over and hugged her, she never expected you to but she hugged you back tightly, sighing of relief “thank you. You saved my life” you felt her smile and then you pulled back, Vada helping you to sit down as people came to you and talked to you, happy to see you alive and well, wishing you a happy recovery, teachers as well. Then when Vada was distracted you got up and walked over to a microphone that had been set up in the gym. “Is this thing on?” You said, scaring everyone. Clearly it was on “sorry” you apologized and everyone giggled.
“First of all I want to thank everyone for the surprise and for the money to the campaign, I really, really never expected this and I can never thank you enough. Then I would like to pay honor to our dead classmates..” you took a deep breath. This was still a fresh, delicate topic for you, but you felt that this had to be said. “I have been in a coma for two months and a half, and all that I could think of was “why me? Why did I have to be shot?” And then I also thought that I should have been grateful to be alive because I did it, and others didn’t..” tears made their way to your eyes, and Vada walked over, holding your hand to reassure you. “And now I’m here and I think, “out of all people, why did I have to survive?” But then I reply to this question, thinking that these boys and girls who died in here, they died somehow protecting us, and I feel guilty because no such thing should have ever happened to any of us. We are humans and we are just kids, none of this is fair. We have families, we have boyfriends and girlfriends…”
You squeezed Vada’s hand and briefly turned to look at her as you did “and there are also people who care about you that much to start a campaign for you, for this I would like to thank Mia Reed. Thank you for Saving my life” everyone applauded to her as you continue “and then I would like to thank Vada.. she’s been at my side ever since I was shot. She barely left the hospital, she took care of me, talked to me, read to me. Not once did she leave me alone and if this isn’t love I don’t know what is” you said and turned to look at her again. “I Love you so much Vada.” You said and pulled her in for a kiss, one you both have been craving for long now. Everyone in the gym applauded as both of you soon pulled back, foreheads touching each other’s.
“I love you too baby. So much.”
