For a while in my life I legitimately considered moving to Germany. There’s multiple reasons I inevitably ended up staying in the US but one of the big ones was that one time when I was in Germany and wanted some salsa the closest thing I could find was basically just tomato sauce.
You crave a burrito. You ask your aunt, hey. Can we make burritos? And she says, sure. But we can’t use tortillas. They don’t sell those here. And you learn to your horror that she plans to use flatbread. Which she insists is basically the same thing as a tortilla. It is not. It’s not. It’s adequate but good lord it’s not a tortilla.
There’s the near impossibility of dual citizenship, the pay toilets, my difficulty with the language, being really far away from most of my family, the difficulty of finding a job as a foreigner, the lack of diversity especially in rural areas. But also in there. Is buying a bottle of supposedly habanero “hot” sauce and it being so mild that I could drink it.
I know how to make tortillas, guys. Perhaps also read the rest of the post. With a lighthearted tone, preferably.
You have my deepest condolences.
Okay so I’m American and I live in Scotland and let me tell you about this fucking abomination:
I once found corn tortillas in a Sainsbury’s. Oho, you may think, that’s a lovely find! But no, my friend. These were flour tortillas… with cooked corn rolled into them. Individual kernels. Like one may find blueberries in a pancake.
I still see red when I think about it.
I have… no words. Beyond stunned.
In honor of my tags passing peer review, i would like to inform everyone that when i make quesadillas my german gf dips them in mayo
