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the dragonsong

@1ug1a / 1ug1a.tumblr.com

lugi / 22 / it/they / dragonkin

internet safety tip: to protect your identity, you can start going by a "fake name" online. But Watch Out

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stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day

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guess what post just got read aloud in poetry club tonite by an unknowing club member as I watched on in terror

oh the notes bubble is disgusting. get that out of my sight

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yuck. euggh. bleughf

this is NOT healthy and actually extremely stressful for the animal. please let them freeroam this is actually sickening

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hey GLaDOS fans! if you're looking at this post on desktop, be sure to press and HOLD the R KEY for AT LEAST 10 seconds! GLaDOS LOVES the R KEY!

In a world where even the sun and the moon are lonely, Are a flock of fools who cycle between entangling and untangling. It feels like we all knew the same, that we were alone in a reflection. The Kitty, who follows her instincts, is now plotting harmony.

you heathens will reblog day specific posts any day of the week. i woke up thinking it was wednesday

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happy wake up thinking it was wednesday sunday

it's fucking friday

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happy woke up thinking it was wednesday sunday but it was actually fucking friday tuesday

And I get a little bit Genghis Kahnghis I don’t want you to get it onghis Nobody else but me (ooooh) With nobody else but MeeeeMe
I get a little bit Danghis Dahn Don’t want you to Genghis on with Nobody else but Mingus Nobody else but Mingus Kingus
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People are “discovering” Genghis Khan by Miike Snow again and so I must reblog Genghis Menghis.

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actually you know what that's exactly it i would rather someone add 5 parantheticals after every sentence than use tone indicators it's 1. accomplishing SO much more in terms of clarity 2. extremely funny to look at depending on how they're used

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observe:

"is this real? /gen" — i thought /gen meant "general" for ages. i would not be able to understand this on first sight a few years ago and is thus ineffective

"is this real? (genuine question)" — i fully understand this without issue

"is this real? (genuine question) (can't tell) (very realistic) (looks real) (scary) (photoshop?)" — is not only incredibly clear it's also very funny to read all of these thoughts stapled together while also in their own parentheses. it's also the most useful because now i can actually address all parts of what they are asking me with as much specificity as BOTH of us need

being a pepper plant has to be so weird.

Imagine evolving capsaicin specifically to stop mammals from eating your fruits, and then a mammal comes along that not only will eat your fruits, but likes them specifically because of the capsaicin, so much that it starts using its weird paws to distribute and care for your seeds, which turns into a strong selective force that literally starts evolving you into producing MORE capsaicin and makes you a WAY more successful and wider ranged species than you ever were before

simply because this mammal LOVES Pain Chemical. that evolved specifically to produce pain in mammals. It's not that the capsaicin isn't WORKING. It's just that these freaks like it.

This is the same mammal with social instincts so goddamn strong that they literally try to form social bonds with their predators, and end up evolving the predators into a new species that fits into their social communities as a form of mutualistic symbiosis, and exists in several different forms with unique morphology and behaviors based on the function they perform.

Instead of, I don't know, EVOLVING TO BE FASTER, this animal finds a faster animal and sits on it. Which shouldn't even work because the faster animal is a prey animal and this animal is a predator, but SOMEHOW they FORM A SOCIAL BOND WITH THE PREY. So they can sit on it while it runs fast. And somehow the prey animal?? is cool with this?? and benefits from this relationship???

Literally how can you hate humans. Humans are possibly the most hilarious thing evolution has ever done.

other things humans have done

  • eat poison plants, decide they like getting poisoned, and evolve the plants to poison them more
  • evolve to not have hair, but they find mammals with thick fluffy hair and put the hair on themselves, and evolve the mammals to produce extra hair so they can both have a warm coat of hair
  • split up their parasitic lice species into two separate species because they start taking other animals' hair and putting it on themselves so much
  • learn how to set things on fire on purpose. maintain body temperature by just standing beside some wood that's on fire instead of literally any normal option
  • figure out that their prey tastes better and is easier to digest when they hold it over a fire after killing it. get smarter because they digest food so good after it's been held over a fire.
  • find a poisonous plant and try washing it in boiling water until they don't die when they eat it anymore
  • go across the ocean by making a floating nest despite not being able to breathe underwater, drink ocean water, or even swim naturally
  • drink milk from other mammals even though they can't digest it and it makes them sick. Evolve those mammals to produce more milk than their babies can drink so they can drink the milk. Some members of the species evolve to be able to digest milk because they were so hellbent on drinking it.
  • find flowers, bugs and minerals that are nice colors and crush them up to try to turn other things that color
  • eat mushrooms that make their nervous systems malfunction because they like malfunctioning their nervous systems

humans worldwide looking up into the celestial vault of stars a million light years away, separated from Earth by the deadly cold and emptiness of space: I bet there are guys up there to form social bonds with