that awkward moment when you lose your phone when you’re home alone and you have no one to call it for you....

my whole life is falling apart now and there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop it..

I apologize...

but I just have to get these words out of my head... you are nowhere near required to read it, and I don't even expect anyone to read it all... have a good night

"As of last night, I am no longer clean. I am currently shaking, and all I want is to scream and puke, but I cannot bring myself to do either. My step-brother lies in the next room, void of any care for anyone or thing besides himself and his video games. My step-sister across the hall no longer remembers that I exist. My parents lie sleeping two floors below me, probably just finishing up another shouting match to see who will come out on top, where my step-mom no longer wants me in her life. My father would be the only person in this household that would notice if I were to cease to exist, except maybe our only dog (the other died a couple weeks ago- rock crawling accident with my dad..). My birth mother gives zero shits and has proved it through both actions of not even bothering to heal the Restraining order that's been in place for about 13 years, and how she (failed to successfully) raise my half-brother who is now a big-time drug dealer, unable to be controlled or calmed down, and has told me secrets that weigh down my heart and shoulders that I can never release after being so radio silent with me since April. Only now did he pop up, due to me having to track down his phone number through the only ex-girlfriend of his that I know about. I know my life is definitely not nearly as rough as his, and I feel even more guilty about the depression weighing my life-force down than I already do, mainly because of the effect it had on my father when he found out about the empty bottles of beers and pills, and the freshly used blade I keep hidden in a hollow wooden picture hanging on my wall that reads: 'Don't forget to be awesome,' along with some gauze patches, more (less sharp) blades, stashed away pills, and a healing ointment I never fail to use. I know this is long and probably boring, but all of it is, unfortunately, true, and I just had to get what I could out of my head. I apologize for my inconvenience. Now I must attempt to say good night, I hope I survive the night, and I wish you the best I ever could because your broken soul deserves more than what even the elusive man they call 'god' could offer." ~T.L. 11/25/16 fin @ 12:03 AM

i fought for what i believed in but they didn't approve so they broke my heart in speaking of me as one speaks of an untamed mare

Maybe no one week ever love me...