He is not the guy for me.

Damn. It was a cold autumn’s after noon when you sent that text. You were young (atleast younger than you are now). So certain, so sure that he’ll reply with that….YES.

Yet. That wasn’t the case. Your heart was crushed within the span of 4 texts. Just 4 lines.

You: “Hey, can I ask you a question? You have to be a 100% honest with me.”

Him: “Sure, go ahead, ask away.”

You: “Do you like me?”

Him: *typing…*

Those three dots burned…the anticipation whilst he was online, yet still not replying back to you. You knew that he was confused; trying to come up with the best answer to give to you. You knew his kind soul was not worthy enough to give you a one worded answer. ‘Yes’ or ‘No?’

You were walking along the long road home, hopeless. Your head was constantly looking down at the ground- avoiding eye contact with anyone. Thinking about every possible answer he could come up with.

“He’s a nice guy. The best guy for me,” you whispered to yourself whilst blasting music into your ears.

He was still online.

Now you had a sudden feeling of regret. A bad feeling.

Him: “I like you as a friend.”

Those words. Hit. You. Like. A. Bullet.

But you were so sure! So sure that he liked you. Your friends told you, everyone told you but most importantly, your heart told you.

Was my heart not to trust?!

You opened the message.

Do I tell him? Do I not?

You had a weird feeling. Your gut was telling you he liked you but was too scared to tell you. I mean, he was a shy guy; not a risk taker.

So you started typing and decided to send a reply.

You: “I’ll be honest with you, I think I’m starting to fall for you.”

You sent it and he read it. The conversation which followed seemed like a blur. Like a eerie dream. A dream which you wished had not happened.

You both had promised each other that you would forget that conversation had ever happened. That you’d carry on as friends. Nothing more.

Weeks went by and your feelings for him had started to fade. You started feeling good.

Little did you know that a day would come where he would tell you that he liked you.

This time: face to face.

All of a sudden, tables had turned and you didn’t know what to say.

You realised how insecure and afraid he was. That was the moment when you realised: he’s not the guy for me.

A secret switch. A fear submitted by May to Deep Dark Fears - thanks! The new Deep Dark Fears book, “The Creeps,” is coming and you can pre-order it now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever books are sold!