POV: You are playing cringe fetch with your fail Bisharp and then Dusclops kills you

This happens often

this was almost the meanest thing I’ve ever seen

world heritage post

What if the new years ball descended and kept going and then it opened and showered the filthy new yorkers below with millions of assorted spiders and house centipedes

just spent a good 15 minutes screaming and laughing at this its so fucking awful and my fucking body hurts from cackling

i cant talk shit on dr who as if i didnt get my ass handed to me by that vincent van gogh thing 9 years ago

.

@mityfresh !

absolutely stellar

A girl at my school tried to seduce one of our (super straight-laced) math professors. She ACTUALLY sat on his desk and had a super low-cut shirt on and everything and actually leaned over to him and according to eye-witnesses:

Girl: “Oh professor, I’m really struggling but I would do ANYTHING to pass this class.”

The professor leans in until his face is just inches from hers and whispers in the same seductive tone:

Before promptly getting up and walking away just leaving her on the desk.

“Then study”

me

my food in the microwave

sound ON

My first art tutorial!

when i was a kid i used to have the first episode of camp lazlo memorized like shot for shot line for line so when i was on long car rides i would just be like “ok im gonna watch tv now” and my parents would be like wtf this kid talking about

can we please bring back the hannibal fandom. i miss seeing lists of reasons why hannigram was toxic and the fact that one of the involved parties ate other people never made the top five 

holy shit

(from the canes broadcast)

this literally made me laugh so hard it shooke my BRAIN

god DAM babey u done stop me in m TRACKS i can smell ur dam FEET from HHHHHHH EEEEEEHEEEHOOHOOO i can smell ur dam FEET from HERE well look me n the patnurs goin down to the levi tpack some LIPS maybe go mudridin how bouchune y HHHHHHHHHHHH fat ass friend hop ina HHHHHHHHHHHHH 😂😂 hop inthe backs HH HHH HHH HEEEEEEE

“i am feral and goblinlike” thats great now can you get all the bowls of cereal out of your room

My cat Bishop sits outside my door every morning once she hears the alarm clock go off.

The morning murps

Someone has waited HOURS to tell you all the gossip.

this is like the cat version of the professor clip of him going “hello!” every morning the same way

chiggins in the sun

This is what life is about