Geralt hungry and standing in the dark kitchen pouting

Jaskier walking in for a glass of water seeing only two glowing orbs

Based on true events of Mew begging me for food even though i recently fed him

@help-help-i-need-an-adult

@permanentlydepressedpigeon

Give Mew a treat!!

He's had so many! Spoiled!

Lambert directly after the Trail of Grasses, being inspected by one of the mages. Inspired by the fic ‘Put Me Down’ by GreenBird (dark fic, mind the tags on ao3)

Baby Lambert wip cause I read through nearly all the Lambert centric fics on ao3 and am now adrift- gonna have to actually reread the series proper

Jaskier's best puppy dog looks

I'm genuinely surprised this quote hasn't become a meme yet

When a hunt went awry, Geralt was cursed, turning into a ghost without actually dying.

The curse struck as winter approached, leaving Geralt to wander as a ghost for a time. Eventually, he made his way to Oxenfurt, where he stumbled upon Jaskier.

Geralt hadn't seen Jaskier since their falling-out on the mountain, but there he was. Geralt felt a pang of guilt and wanted to reach out, to apologize and tell Jaskier how much he valued and loves him.

But as he extended his hand, it passed right through Jaskier, reminding him that he was now a ghost.

Realizing he couldn't physically interact with the world, Geralt started haunting Jaskier, using his ghostly presence to protect him while he searched for a way to lift the curse.

Gradually, Geralt learned to harness his spectral abilities, keeping Jaskier safe from harm while he remained unseen.

Leans back in my chair. Dandelion was only in his late teens or maybe early 20's when he first started travelling with Geralt. How many ~ interesting things ~ did he discover about himself during their travels. Can you imagine them getting thrown into a prison cell together and Dandelion is super quiet and kinda just shuffling his feet, avoiding eye contact, and Geralt takes one look at his shackled hands and feet, at the bruise on his jaw and his rumpled clothes, and tonelessly goes "Really? Right now?" and Dandelion's like "I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A THING UNTIL JUST NOW GIVE ME SOME SLACK PLEASE"

@thequeeninyellowlace @0dde11eth @everything-but-the-not-natural @help-help-i-need-an-adult

Yennefer and Jaskier, about Geralt

OMFG I just spit beer all over my bed 🤣🤣🤣

Geralt walks in, they're both caterwaling "BURN BUTCHER BURN" to the most HIDEOUS accompaniment imaginable.

He turns around and walks STRIGHT back out.

Okay, so the original text conversation went something like

Yenn (Bitchy Witchy in Jaskier's phone): I just broke up with my boyfriend and am looking to experiment

Jaskier (Nuisance Bard in Yennefer's phone): Nice! Want to join an avante-garde jazz-noise band?

Jaskier: Coincidentally, I also just got out of a long-term relationship! Men, right?

Yennefer: Was yours a muscle-bound, white-haired, grunting hunk with two swords and no manners?

Jaskier: And a really WEIRD obsession with horses. So, about that improv band?

Yennefer: I call piccolo. We're gonna make this PAINFUL.

...two months later, Geralt walks into a tavern in the pouring rain, goes "oh shit, BAD IDEA" and IMMEDIATELY runs the other way.

Roach refuses to leave. "It's raining out and I deserve a warm stall and the colorful foal spoiling me. We haven't seen him in weeks and I need to be pampered!"

i think that killing a dragon should have catastrophic nuclear-fallout level environmental consequences tbh. their blood should scorch and wither the earth with fire and poison, the toxic fumes released as they decay should choke the land and all nearby living creatures, and the entire landscape where they fell should be transformed into a blighted wasteland where bleached leviathan bones loom upwards out of the ground as a warning that can be seen from miles away, the boundary markers of an exclusion zone.

i also think that it would be wonderfully ironic if those who sought the fame and glory of the title of 'dragonslayer' only ended up with the bitter, enduring reminder of the devastation they're responsible for. this is not a place of honor. no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here.

Ugh okay I know I'm putting a target on my back, but since I nabbed this url I might as well put it to good use. I am completely turning asks off, because I have better things to do than waste my time on this nonsense. This is also my alt account so I don't check it that often anyway.

And I'm putting this post into the tags to spread word around. This post is 100% okay to reblog.

If you're someone who got any of these asks, or anything similar:

BLOCK AND IGNORE

This is our dear friend Marina from The Witcher fandom who started harassing a mutual of mine over two years ago. Yes, this nonsense has been going on for two years. Then, she started spreading these sorts of asks to other people. She threw in some homophobia and ableism for good measure. And it seems like it's been going on for even longer, because she made a name for herself in the Russian part of the fandom even earlier according to other Russian fans.

If you want more in-depth information about this bizarre situation and want to see what kind of clownery this grown-ass woman has done, then check @marinamd29-stopharassingpeople and @she-sends-these-asks-to-anyone

I'm only making this post to not to engage with her and delete every ask she sends. It looks like she's using a VPN to go around blocks, but I think at this point, her asks are nothing but white noise. But if you're someone outside of The Witcher fandom this might seem alarming, but don't worry. It's not your fault, you didn't do anything, I know a lot of people get anxious from these kind of asks. She seems to be going after anyone who interacted with people on her shitlist who are presumably from The Witcher fandom.

Anyway: block, ignore and don't worry, it's not your fault. You didn't do anything, you just happened to get caught up in her drama that she made up herself.

wait...... i spy chest hair...... 🔎