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gods least favorite creature

@0ctodoggo

originally made because my wife kept pestering me, now elons forcing me to use this. thanks elon. he/it therian
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Heiko Hellwig: Silicon Cities (2017)

Colorful Circuit Cities Built From Motherboards, Processors, and Microchips. Hellwig built these cityscapes last year using the guts of old MacBooks, IBMs, and even PlayStations that he scavenged from eBay and friends' basements.
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JFK and Abe Lincoln were killed by the same bullet after it popped through Abe's chest it buonced off the railing and ricocheted around America for 80 beautiful years before lodging itself firmly in Kennedy's thick russet potato dip shit skull

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Group photo with the Agents! (+ Little Buddy, It was Four’s idea).

(Total drawing time: 13 hours, 32 minutes. Dear God, please reblog.)

Pre-Calamity:

Link: I am a very quiet, reserved individual. I'm very skilled with a sword, incredibly well-mannered and respectful.

Zelda: I am an eloquent princess who is regal and authorative, despite it not being the true me. Even when I am allowed to let loose a little, I'm still a little distant and contained.

Post-Upheaval:

Link: I'm a 100+ year old cryptid with Tony Hawk syndrome who has stabbed not one but TWO world ending calamities in the face. My hair has not been brushed in a hundred years, I eat stuff off the ground, my arm glows sometimes, and I run around bare-ass naked for the hell of it. I'll kill Ganondorf with a stick. I will.

Zelda: I am a 20,000+ year old cryptid and at this point being the goddess reincarnate is the least weird thing about me. I made Link eat a live frog once and I probably have eaten many more, for science. I probably cut my hair with a bokoblin fang. I do my homework at the bottom of a well like a goblin. I ate a rock once. I also willingly stabbed myself in the head with a sword. Ganondorf made a puppet of me that appeared and disappeared randomly saying ominous shit all over Hyrule and nobody questioned it because I'm apparently Just Like That Sometimes. I introduced ancient hylians to the iphone. I will turn myself into a worm. Don't even test me I will turn myself into a worm right now.

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MS paint alien.

Squishy Hexapod from a salty world. It has two pairs of three legs and 6 eyes to scan the environment for danger and food. From the sides of its face emerge two orange tendrils with which it picks up lichen growths which it feeds on. Its mouth is directly above the 3 front legs. And as it walks, the motion helps it chew the tough foodstuffs.

this is granite pillars stained by statuesque memories of a thousand hands (on the right) and she has So Many Exposed Nerves. (she is also my new rainworld oc!)

Guy who transforms into a swarm of locusts when shaken vigorously: hey can you turn the music down it's resonating kind of hard and shaking the ground and I don't want to endanger anyone

DJ Loudmusic: SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THESE SICK JAMS! HERE'S MY NEXT SONG, "EPIC JUNGLE BEAT THAT GIVES LOCUSTS THE DESIRE TO KILL HUMAN BEINGS"