when you have the perfect picture in your head of how you want your story to turn out and then you actually write it and

image

Picking a name for your own characters is like picking a name for your child.

image

WRITER PROBLEMS

don’t you hate it when you’re just writing along and then you think wait would that even is that possible how does this work oh shit RESEARCH

and the next thing you know you have twenty million tabs open about everything from hydrogen engines to the psychology of serial killers to the evolution of the pronghorn

Behind every fanfic update, there is a writer being turned into THIS as they await your reactions

image

The hardest part of writing witty dialogue is that I’m not as witty as the characters

I get jealous of writers who can easily write 3,000-5,000+ words in just one day like seriously do you know how much motivation it takes me to even start writing. I end up having a prayer circle, rolling around on the floor in despair, staring at blank documents, whining at people, flipping the internet inside-out for inspiration music, offering sacrifices to Satan, and then giving up for the night.

ever had this character in your head, and he’s so deep and awesome and alive, but you just don’t know what to use him for?

if you try and tell me writing isn’t an art i will stab you with my pen

“One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.”

—Jack Kerouac

i can spell i repeat to myself over and over as the red squiggly line doesn’t go away

I’m not a bad writer like I’ve got all of these scenes and characters and backdrops and subplots all figured out and I know what tone I want I just can’t put it into words and I just

image

I hate it when adults see me with my notebook and they’re like “oooohoho, are we a writer?” Like it’s just the cutest little thing that I sit in the back of class and write my silly little stories.

Bitch, do you think this is a motherfucking game?

I will kill you in my premiere novel. 

  • me: complains about writing
  • me: complains about complaining about writing
  • me: apologizes for complaining about writing
  • me: continues to complain about writing
  • *knock knock knock*
  • Me: Who is it?
  • Outside door: It's me! Backstory!
  • Me: FUCK YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
  • Backstory: But Plot invited me...
  • Me: PLOT. Where are you???
  • Plot: I'm over here, at the epilogue.
  • Me: Exactly! The freaking epilogue! What do you need Backstory for?
  • Plot: *rolls eyes* For backstory?
  • Me: I don't need your sass, okay? You already didn't go the way I wanted you to.
  • Plot: Hey! I stopped you from writing off your favorite character! Maybe you should be thanking me.
  • Backstory: Uh, hey guys, you left the door open so --
  • Me: GET OUT.
  • Backstory: Bu --
  • Me: OUT. *points*
  • Plot: Don't worry, bro. I got this.
  • Plot: Now you listen here --
  • Me: No, I'm the writer --
  • Plot: SIT THE FUCK DOWN. We are going to use Backstory and you are going to like it or SO HELP ME I will leave your sorry ass and go back to Writer's Block!
  • Me: ...
  • Me: You wouldn't.
  • Plot: I would.

I killed a main character for the first time today.

…I’ve feel like I’ve just passed the rite of adulthood in the writer’s world.

Gotta love those moments when you read things written by other people and you have the sudden urge to set fire to your computer to purge the universe of the horror of your own work.

I have an entire community of original fictional characters living in my head. They’re busy even when I’m not writing about them. 

My Ruined Plans. Let me show you them.

The Nick and Kelly thing came out of nowhere (for me) and we ran with it. I say we because I mean myself and you. You ran with it and I followed. Readers are happy, editors are laughing, I’m writing, Nick and Kelly are screwing now. I’m not upset that all my plans are now ruined.

But they were good plans. They were really good plans. So I’m going to share them with you, because to an extent they can be salvaged. And I am going to do something I don’t rarely do and let you, minions of Tumblr (and probably a few from Twitter), help me decide what to do.

Your options, after reading the following, are:

  1. put my big girl panties on and make new plans
  2. tell me to go with my original plans and modify them to fit.

This is probably the most I’ve ever shared about my plotting, because I hate putting things out there that may never come to fruition. But I’m confident that if you care enough to read this, you also know that things happen. Shit happens. Ship happens. And while I do hope I can turn these ideas into books (and that no one reads them and steals them like a little bitch) it’s possible they may languish forever in my cryogenic suspension folder.

I’m not going to go into great detail because if I do intend to use these plans, I don’t want to spoil them too much. But still, read the following at your own risk.

Read More →

Loading more posts...