If your daughter is 10, and you’ve fucked her up emotionally to the point where she asks me every time I see her, “is my mom dead?” maybe coming home to find you breaking into her dad’s house after not seeing you for 2 years isn’t the best homecoming.
Because when I have to do an emergency call with her at the school and she tells me she knows you were looking for things you could sell for drugs, it makes me want to punch you so motherfucking hard in the face.
She’s 10. She shouldn’t have to know these things. You suck. Be gone.
bitches get stuff done
- Boss: So just wanted to check and see how you're making out with the project.
- Me: Well, I'm still working on it. Right now, actually.
- Boss: Oh. Well, sorry to interrupt.
- Me: No, it's fine, you have to check up.
- Boss: Can you give me a percentage of how much you've done?
- Me: I will be done on Thursday.
- Boss: You're kidding.
- Me: No. I will be done on Thursday, probably in the morning.
- Boss: Okay. I'll let them know.
- Me: Let them know that any time they'd like to realize that I'm still pretty damn good at this, I'm all ears about a raise.
- Boss: Oh, uh, okay.
- Me: No, don't, but you know. Hint at it.
- Boss: Got it.