You're old, man
There’s a row of benches in the park where the sun seems to shine much warmer than anywhere else. You can see a group of old men talking while they play chess and checkers on the table tops.
I sat with them and listened to rants on government, heartache, pensions, diplomacy, and the price of rent.
Hopefully they won’t notice when you sit next to them so they’ll go on as if they don’t have an audience. I hope I make it to be a good old man.
“ You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don't know it, all of that doesn't even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It's not like you have forever, so don't waste any of your seconds, don't throw even one of your moments away. ”
— C. JoyBell C.Sometimes the only thing I want to focus on is nothing. I’m also putting myself in a dangerous time frame for school work at the moment. I am choosing not to care today and just let it go.
My head is in a particular space it’s never been before. It’s an odd feeling to finally understand things that have been unclear for years. I fully see myself right now and instead of beating myself up about mistakes I’ve made, I’m laughing to myself about myself. It’s actually very liberating. Let.it.go.
So this is what they meant when they said your 30’s is when you just know…
Turns out it is kinda worth the hype.
