An open letter to...Willow Smith

I’ve just seen a new picture of you with your trendy (?) new hair braids, rocking your spray-on jeans and biker boots, and I honestly thought you were someone else. Someone who is, I don’t know, 25?

This is not good Willow! We love you, and I’m all for style-aware teenagers, Lord knows the world needs more of them.

But you’re not even a teenager yet! You’re 11?!

I’ve just relalised this means you were NINE (?!?!) when you released the infamous ‘Whip My Hair’, and I’m now ashamed I ever bought it. Child labour at its finest.

I really think you should buy some Bratz or something, or at the very least wear some pink Ugg boots or something. That’s what most 1-year olds do, Willow.