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my dad just came in and handed me a squigee and said nothing

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ok

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so da has given us a one day premium membership?

um

what do i do with it?

tartar sauce is real and exists outside of the tv show spongebob squarepants and im real upset about it

THERE IS A POSSUM IN MY TRASHCAN

This just in: Kawaiianon wonders why people have second blogs.

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so

there’s a dead baby possum in my pool

uhm

what do I do

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i bought too much food.

Man, for the first time in a while, I actually have money. 

unclejonsiereplied to yourpost:IM HUNGRY OKAY FEED ME SOMEONE

*gives u a scented candle*

are you implying that i smell

There’s a baby on my doorstep. I’m the only one home. Everyone else is gone, and I’m here alone. And out of all of the days… A BABY IS ON MY DOORSTEP. TODAY. RIGHT NOW. OH GOD.

WOW MY DAD GOT ME A 32 INCH TV AND GAVE ME 100 DOLLARS???

WHAT IS GOING ON

I got twitter..

WHAT HAVE I DOOOONE?! 

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