Les Miserables:
Ex-criminal can't catch a fucking break. Crazy cop can't handle multi-dimensional personalities. Boring love interest remains everyone's least favorite character. Everyone you love dies.
The Phantom of the Opera:
Overly dramatic opera singer is caught between a dick boyfriend and a serious case of Stockholm syndrome.
Wicked:
Misunderstood loner chick tries to help people and everyone fucks her over anyway.
West Side Story:
Romeo and Juliet with really tame gangs and sassy Puerto Ricans.
Grease:
If your asshole love interest doesn't like your personality, change everything about yourself.
Rent:
AIDS sucks.
Cats:
Freaky looking cats. That's it. There's literally no plot.
