Today’s bowl of crazy is served to you by Georgia Rep. Bobby Franklin (R), who recently introduced a bill (HB 1) that would require “proof that a miscarriage happened naturally” and that no “human involvement” caused it. Without proof, a woman could face felony charges.

Why would anyone in their right mind think of criminalizing miscarriage? Well, according to Rep. Franklin miscarriages are actually “pre-natal murders.” The bill states that a miscarriage is not “pre-natal murder,” as long as there was no evident human causation. Oh, good! That settles it, since we all know that miscarriages are usually caused by— wait, what? Doctors still don’t know exactly what causes a miscarriage? And most occur so early a woman may not even know she is pregnant?

Oh. No. What if it’s us ladies? What if it’s all our fault? I mean, if most miscarriages happen so early, without knowing you’re pregnant… then any of your past periods could have been babies!!! NOOOOOO!!!

LADIES, YOUR BODIES HAVE TURNED AGAINST YOU!

Do you menstruate? Then you’re a potential murderer! Have you menstruated in the past? Then you’ve probably killed before!

Not sure how or why your cruel uterus keeps killing without your knowledge? Well worry no more! Send a picture and/or description of your “crime scene” to:

Rep. Bobby Franklin
401 Coverdell Legislative Office Building
Atlanta, Georgia 30334

Fax number: 404-656-5562.

E-mail: bobby.franklin@house.ga.gov

If anyone can get to the bottom of this heinous, woman-conundrum, it’s this brave, zygote saving man, Rep. Bobby Franklin.