- when someone walks slower than me: omfg your slow ass is clogging up the hallway for the rest of us put some pep into your step grandma
- when someone walks faster than me: jesus christ are you on the run from the police this isnt a race you can tone it down usain bolt
- when someone walks at the same speed as me: who gave your creepy ass permission to walk with me get the fuck away before i call the cops
