Dear Vampirefreaks

For the record, this is bullshit.

As a fairly traditional “goth girl”* with unshaved armpits, I think I am thoroughly qualified to tell you that this is full of shit.

REMINDER: Women are people. Not fleshlights. Our sole purpose is not to look nice for you, or to please your gothy penis. Now I know this is going to be very hard for you to grasp, but bear with me and try your best to follow this:

Sometimes women get dressed certain ways because we like the clothes. We like the look. Seeing as we are people (as we learned above), we have our own tastes. And seeing as we are people, and most of us are not children anymore, we can dress ourselves. I know, this is big news.

Now. If you think that was wild, wait till you hear this.

My unshaved armpits have shit all to do with you. I, like most other hairy women, am quite clean. If it isn’t a hygiene issue when men don’t shave, it isn’t when women don’t.

“But it’s ICKY!” you cry! Well! I am here to inform you that you are entirely within your rights to not date/have sex/cuddle women with hairy pits. And frankly, the more nasty dudebros** who don’t want to date/have sex/sexually harrass me, the better.

However, I am also well within my rights to tell you to get your ridiculous expectations for women’s bodies the hell away from me.

So kindly take your childish attitudes to women’s bodies and shove it up your misogynistic, entitled asshole.

Love

me.

*it’s woman shithead, I’m a grownup, not your sex fantasy.

**yes, dudebros. You are just as bad as the jocks you hated in highschool. Congrats.