today is the annual manager's meeting

They all gather behind closed doors and go over every aspect of the entire company. They discuss each employee in detail. We all get a full work-up. Our bonuses are contingent upon our performance and a company-wide evaluation. It takes all day.

Today is a day I can feel myself getting a little more uptight. I tidy my desk a little more. I think about cleaning up my appearance, cutting my hair. I think about the ways I can do my job better. I hold the door open for the higher-ups. I make small talk with the managers. I wonder if there are things I can do during the rest of the year to make myself look better during the annual meeting. And then I realize that it’s probably too late. The year has already passed. What I’ve done, I’ve done.

I just want enough to give the kids a good Christmas and to keep my job. I’ll be tense all day.