This song is very fitting to this moment..

‘So, I lost my head a while ago.’

When I started reading Unexpected. DEAR GOD.

Hello there.
It’s nice to meet finally meet you.. well actually it’s  not so nice.
You showed up unexpectedly… and as much as I want to say I want you here,
I do not.

You see, not to be mean, but you would ruin my life.
You would be living proof of what a dissapointment I am to my family.
You would be the end of my college life, my free home with my family, 
and the beginning of real life struggles.

I would lose all my dreams because of you.
I would  no longer be able to complete my masters degree in the time frame I would have liked.

I would become a statistic… and you would grow up struggling too.
I’m to afraid to introduce you to your other half… I don’t want him to know.
In fact, I’m talking to you today because I didn’t want to surprise you with something like you surprised me. 

I want to be plain honest with you… Having you in my life would be absolute joy, I know it would… I’m sure you’re beautiful, you’ll probably be as energetic as I am and you’ll grow up with a lot of love in your heart… however, having you in my life is also a huge risk that I cannot take. 

I lose more than I gain, and you would lose too… I’m doing what I think would be best for the both of us.. even though this really isnt the best decision I could make for you… I’m not giving you the chance you deserve; this isn’t your fault… but I just can’t.

I never thought I’d be the one in this kind of situation… but I don’t know what else to do…

So baby girl, this is goodbye. It was really wonderful talking to you..
I’ll never forget you, in the short time we shared together.. and I’m sorry I let you down. You deserve so much better… You will get so much better than me.. so let your spirit fly from this baby inside me into a well-deserving mother… because I am not worthy. 

“I can’t do this without you. I can’t. I need you.”

I’m really happy that Madge is reading Harry Potter,
but another part of me wants to shake her by the shoulders and
yell “Madge, you beautiful angel, these books will RUIN YOUR LIFE.”
and “You will cry more than you’ve ever cried before!”

Sigh.  

Madge’s reading “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets”

Nag Abreeza ulit ako kahapon kasama si Kat, pero hindi si Coco Martin yung pinunta namin dun. LOL!

Unexpected sya kasi may nakita akong “hindi kanais-nais”, seryoso ‘to. Hindi ko talaga ine-expect na sa lahat ng Malls dun ko pa talaga “sya” makikita. Hamfufu. Nagulat talaga ako dun. Pero uy, feel ko ako lang talaga nag naga create ng gap sa aming dalawa. Masyado lang ata akong affected. =p  

Pag uwi ko ng bahay, naging motivation ko sya para “magpapayat” ulit. Oo uy, hindi man ako masyadong mataba ngayon pero feel ko talaga na mas payat sya sa akin. Huy, samok gud ako. Sorry lang =))) Sige lang, klase na bitaw ulit. Ma stress na naman ako, so… balik dati na naman yung katawan ko. Hahaha.