AN OPEN LETTER TO UMLAUT.
October 13, 2003
Dear Umlaut, You think you’re so damn cool, huh? Just hanging out, chillin’, above all those vowels. You’re all, “Ooh, look at me, I’m a chic umlaut. I make girls’ names look modish, like Zoë and Chloë, and I rock with strung out ’80s metal bands!”
Well, guess what? You’re only an umlaut if you’re modifying the pronunciation of a singular vowel, like in “Führer” or “über.” If you’re stressing the second of two consecutive vowels or one that would usually be silent according to common English usage, you’re just a plain old boring dieresis. How ‘bout that, you naïve jackass? God, you’re such a poseur, umlaut. You’re nothing but two measly dots. You’re a Eurotrash colon lying down. Nobody thinks you’re cool.
Sincerely,
Josh Abraham
Kew Gardens, NY
Pronunciation 101: Diphthongs
Probably the place where most non-Germans make mistakes while reading/spelling…
- ai/ei
Eng. equivalent: EYE
German examples: s Ei (egg), r Mai (the month of May), r Teig (dough) - au
Eng. equivalent: OW in “how”
German examples: auch (also), s Bauch (stomach), aus (from/out of) - eu/äu
Eng. equivalent: OY in “boy”
German examples: neu (new), Bäume (trees), treu (faithful/loyal) - ie
Eng. equivalent: EE in “see”
German examples: Sie (formal you), nie (never), auf Wiedersehen (goodbye)
Note:
Even if ä/ö/ü are written out as ae/oe/ue (e.g. because the computer does not support characters with umlauts), they are not considered diphthongs.
excel umlaut replacing.
Sub UmlauteWandeln()
Dim MyRange As Range
Dim Cell As Range
Application.ScreenUpdating = False
Set MyRange = Selection
For Each Cell In MyRange
Selection.Replace What:=”ß”, Replacement:=”ss”, LookAt:=xlPart, MatchCase:=True
Selection.Replace What:=”ü”, Replacement:=”ue”, LookAt:=xlPart, MatchCase:=True
Selection.Replace What:=”Ü”, Replacement:=”Ue”, LookAt:=xlPart, MatchCase:=True
Selection.Replace What:=”ö”, Replacement:=”oe”, LookAt:=xlPart, MatchCase:=True
Selection.Replace What:=”Ö”, Replacement:=”Oe”, LookAt:=xlPart, MatchCase:=True
Selection.Replace What:=”ä”, Replacement:=”ae”, LookAt:=xlPart, MatchCase:=True
Selection.Replace What:=”Ä”, Replacement:=”Ae”, LookAt:=xlPart, MatchCase:=True
Next Cell
End Sub
Macro for Excel to replace ä/ö/ü/ß/Ö/Ü/Ä
not runtime replacing, but that will work too :)
formating is fucked in tumblr but you get the idea
Hey, Brontë sisters. How the hell am I supposed to pronounce y'all's name?
Umlauts are not toys.
BUT THEN
I did some looking up and discovered that this: ¨
Is not just an umlaut. The mark itself is a diacritic called a trema, and is used for two main purposes:
- as an umlaut, a vowel-shift phenomenon also known as i-mutation; and
- as a diaeresis, which indicates that adjoining letters should be pronounced separately, rather than as a diphthong or digraph
The second use, as a diaeresis, is what the Brontë family uses it for, indicating that their name is pronounced “brawn-tee” instead of “brawnt”.
You see? You learn shit when you try and make jokes about umlauts. You learn that a trema is used for more than you think! It’s not just for metal bands, boys and girls.
Off to learn more about language!
Maybe Something Good Happens After 2am.
- Sidebar - I forgot to name Cat! Inaugural post. Gata jumps to my mouth for some reason; honestly, its not a very cute nickname. But spanish makes me feel affectionate, and I feel affectionate towards Gata, so it all fits.
I had a really enjoyable conversation with Christmastree tonight, in part about Sunflower, in part about Umlaut, and in part about nothing and everything and Gata. Even though we have a lot of different strengths and feelings, there’s a lot that bonds us close. I really like Christmastree, and I don’t want our relationship to be an antagonistic one.
I actually worry about that a lot; that it’ll degenerate into hyperreality, into a Baudrillardian nightmare until we have a gulf war that never happens. I want substance in my relationships, and its nights like these that make me remember that I have it.
I also want this kind of substance with Sunflower. I hunger for it so much, it scares me. I don’t just want it, I voraciously hunger for it. I miss her so much right now, and I’ve seen her in the last twenty four hours. But I miss her all the same. I want to experience more with her, to glut myself with time and smiles and laughter.
Its insane the amount of effect(?) influence (?) sway she has over my feelings and thoughts, but its true.
I am truly and deeply enamoured of you.
