I’ve been thinking a lot about intuitive eating recently. I mean, I know I have to think about it all the time cos bulimia but I mean like REALLY thinking about it actively and how important it is, and the role it plays in my recovery.
One of the things that really helps me when my eating disorder is triggered (or even when it isnt) is seeing fat people eating. This is amplified in any situation where the fat person is unashamed and hyper-visible in their fatness while eating.
I think the reason this specific thing is really important and powerful to me is that I was continually made ashamed to eat my whole childhood/adolescence/even now still but w.e. In fact the catalyst to my bulimia becoming clinical was a group of much older boys routinely attacking me on my way to school by throwing food at me and hurling fat-phobic abuse. After a week I had stopped eating in front of anyone.
I think this is a problem for a lot of people with/in recovery for eating disorders, and I am a firm believer in being your own fatspo, so for these reasons, I made this image of me aggressively eating a sandwich while fat:
Also it’s a really fucking good sandwich (pastrami on rye if you wanna know and hmu) and deserves to be immortalised as such.
ALL BODIES DESERVE NOURISHMENT.
THE SQUISHYNESS OF YOUR BELLY DOES NOT NEGATE THIS.
fat shaming is a HUGE problem. fat people are victimized, marginalized, discriminated against, and just generally shit upon to a huge degree. someone’s weight does not define who they are in any way besides size. if you think less of someone because of their weight, or judge someone’s eating habits, or exercising habits, you are a piece of shit and you need to stop because what someone else chooses to do with their body has literally nothing to do with you.
however, there is an obesity problem in this country, and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with an individuals lifestyle choices regarding diet and exercise, but rather the systemic failures of our social institutions:
- the only incentive food companies have is profit, not health, not environmental impact, not sustainabilty. if it lowers cost and raises profit, thats what theyre about
- our government subsidizies junk food, namely corn and soy products. theres a reason a bag of cheetos is cheaper than a bag of carrots, and its because the government is paying for it to be that way.
- remember that whole pizza is a vegetable thing from congress about a year ago? our legislators are too cowardly, lazy, and self-serving to stand up to lobbyists and special interests, at the cost of our children’s health
- low income areas often have little to no access to healthy food. you simply cannot find stores that stock healthy food, even if they could afford it. ( a family living on food stamps could not even come close to affording it)
- massive food companies like Monsanto patent their genetically modified seeds and then use legal jujitsu to suffocate any smaller farmers from growing and selling healthy produce
i want to live in a house alone where i can eat a lot and i won’t have to eat in front of anyone and see them looking at me eating becauss then i imagine how i look while i eat and i know it’s disgusting so i stop eating until they stop looking but i just want to eat as much as i want and i wanna take really big bites and chew loudly and messily but they always look at me i wish they wouldn’t look at me