proposed opening number to Tumblr: The Stage Musical

Impresario: [Sings]

What are you lot all staring at? Ain’t you all got somewhere to be?

It must be so nice, spending your evenings so happy and free

White middle-class, privileged, rich! All that money lying around

Bet you thought if you came here tonight you could block out the sound

Of the poor, the needy, the desperate, the queer

The forty-seven percent, all those you fear

Well I hope you’re sitting comfortably, because you just bought yourself a pass

To a no-holds-barred, intellectual, feminist kick in the ass

And whatever you do, don’t compare this to Glee, because let’s face it, that’s muck –

Tumbler #1: [Shouts] My mother died during a musical, you insensitive fuck!